Tristan Taormino - loves butch girls

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I interpreted it as art via words, it resonates with each word you can literally feel it with her words and it can also conjure up feelings for those of us who have had the same exact feelings.

This: " Girls who have big cocks, love blowjobs, and like to fuck girls hard"

As a young dyke I remember those moments of excitement, fear, pulsing areas, the tightness that came with having an epiphany that that cock slinging girl was going to open up a world of unexhibited sexual escapades, it's like a tall glass of ice cold water on as hot as hell day, it's only satisfies your thirst for a second before the temperature rises again.
That's why it's art in my opinion because it's a different experience for every individual.

is it hot in here or what!!

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm more offended when I see folks online/real time so easily use bitch when referring to Femmes/Women/Feminity then again I'm all about Girl Power!!!

Spice Girls anyone?

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I'm more offended when I see folks online/real time so easily use bitch when referring to Femmes/Women/Feminity then again I'm all about Girl Power!!!

Spice Girls anyone?

I like the word bitch. But I don't associate anything particularly negative with it. If you call me a bitch, obviously I intimidate you. That makes me smile. I got quite used to it when one of my best friends and I started calling each other Bitch in college.

"Hey, Bitch, how you doin'?"
"Bitch, you gotta see this!"

I guess you could say we were "taking it back".

She fit the word. She still does. She is competitive as hell, assertive, intimidating, aggressive, and unapologetic. I like those qualities. Long live the Great American Bitch!

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by thedivahrrrself

She fit the word. She still does. She is competitive as hell, assertive, intimidating, aggressive, and unapologetic. I like those qualities. Long live the Great American Bitch!

I like women who are competitive, assertive, intimidating, aggressive and unapologetic. Would never occur to me to call or see them as a bitch. I could see referring to them as my idol tho.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I meant more as in the ugly animalistic way bitch is used when referring to women.

Bitch in cultural circles as no big deal until it's flung in a derogatory or spit out by a male bodied person attempting to super impose their bullshit on women.

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I meant more as in the ugly animalistic way bitch is used when referring to women.

Bitch in cultural circles as no big deal until it's flung in a derogatory or spit out by a male bodied person attempting to super impose their bullshit on women.

I agree. Like I tell my straight friends, "I can say dyke, you can say lesbian. But nobody, anywhere outside the scientific community, can say homosexual. That shit is offensive."

[Soon]

Originally Posted by thedivahrrrself

I like the word bitch. But I don't associate anything particularly negative with it. If you call me a bitch, obviously I intimidate you. That makes me smile. I got quite used to it when one of my best friends and I started calling each other Bitch in college.

"Hey, Bitch, how you doin'?"
"Bitch, you gotta see this!"

I guess you could say we were "taking it back".

She fit the word. She still does. She is competitive as hell, assertive, intimidating, aggressive, and unapologetic. I like those qualities. Long live the Great American Bitch!

Those same qualities are revered in a man (esp. in the workplace) and, yet, those women who display such traits are negatively perceived, by some, as a bitch--a way of cutting her down to size, discouraging such traits in other women, and denigrating her achievements.


These qualities are only synonymous with the gendered word bitch when it is a woman who possesses them.

As far as reclamation of words amongst friends, I have no issues there, but it isn't for me.

As a high school teacher, I know how easy it is for some students to label some female teachers as a bitch where they give major kudos to the men who act/teach in a similar manner. Frustrating.

[starryeyes]

I thought it was hot!! <3

[Wolfsong]

Originally Posted by stonewalldog

I took the "girl" word as playful myself. The hair part reminds me to go get a trim. It's getting a bit shaggy. Otherwise, I thought it was great!

I always know when it's time to get a haircut.......people stop calling me sir.

Originally Posted by Tawse

Might I say... Tristan writes some very hot stuff... very... she's one of the top three on my list (along with Patrick Califia and Laura Antoniou)

I honestly took it as more poetic, creative writing than a statement in which the use of the word "girl" could be offensive. My mind thinks more in terms of the creative than the analytical....I would be far more in tune with something like....

"The heat of the day was oppressive and had driven her to her bedroom. Shrugging off her clothing, she slipped into a sheer pink camisole. “Well so what if it’s the middle of the day, she thought to herself as she went to pull closed the window shade, it’s too hot to wear or do anything else!” She heard hym before she saw hym. The old tractor rumbled as it bumped up the dirt road, throwing up clouds of dust as it went past. She peeked through the lace curtains hoping hy wouldn’t look up and catch her watching hym. Her breath caught as her eyes caressed hys body in the way that she wished that her hands could…… "

than I would had the verbiage been changed to add something about her pussy becoming sopping wet when she saw hym (which I find to be both uncomfortable and arrogant).


and your right....she does write some hot stuff.

[bright_arrow]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I'm more offended when I see folks online/real time so easily use bitch when referring to Femmes/Women/Feminity then again I'm all about Girl Power!!!

Spice Girls anyone?

Tell me what you want, what you really really want!

< desd, who loves the spice girls

[Martina]

I have known butches who ID as butch but would do a double take if their girlfriend referred to them as "my butch" or frequently referred to them as butch at all. A lot of folks who are butch ID'd do not use the word a ton. I know of two who have complained when others have overused it referring to them. The others may have been trying to impose gender expectations on these people or were overly foregrounding gender.

Just adding that point.

[~ocean]

soo many opinions .. and all valid to ones own perspective. u can reslove it by

1. wearing a tshirt w. ur own logo and ur own ID
2. get ur own personal ID tattoo'd on ur forehead
3. or don't get mad at ppl who ID diff than u would << now theres a thought ~
4. u can fight the world and stress urself out <<not good causes wrinkles ~
5. just let it be known . that u r .. OH ~~ that nice person we just met ~~

~ocean

[Dude]

Originally Posted by ~ocean

.. u can reslove it by

3. or don't get mad at ppl who ID diff than u would << now theres a thought ~
4. u can fight the world and stress urself out <<not good causes wrinkles ~
~ocean

I snipped a bit out of what you said here, so forgive me.
I dont even know who you are writing to but will jump off
of this to be clearer about who I am and where I am coming from.

I have absoultely no problem with people who ID differently
than me. If I came across that way to anyone , I apologize.

I tried to carefully describe how a few words feel to me. period.

For most of my life I have had close friends who I would
describe as tweeners (<= in a non insulting way and have had
many conversations about butch-femme stuff with them )
I love them ,they are my friends. All of them very much supported me
as a baby butch when I needed it the most.

I was actually refered to a butch-femme site by a bisexual I had
a quite enjoyable tyrst with. (who I met on a yahoo dating thing)
There was no future for us in the long term because she really
desired femminine women and manly men.
She knew it would be sick and wrong (lol and what a relief)
to try to change me so she steered me to a place to be appreciated.
That was brutally honest and I know hard for her because she
liked and enjoyed me a lot but.....
I warned her , I really did.
Yet she was attracted to ME (but not in the perfect way )
and so it went wilty after a few months.

I can not tell you how many times my life that I have dated
women who have tried to soften me up, change my walk, hair
and try to convince me to dress differently
( to be more OK and loved by them)
I was called sir even with long hair, way back in the day.
This is what (some) butches go through in life and it does become
a war just to be ourselves and secure in who we are , exactly as we are.
If your experiences are different from mine ,then jolly good for you ( seriously)

We dont have the worry or headache of coming out constantly like
femmes do , which I feel quite grateful for.
When we do go out to face the world sometimes it is not exactly
a picnic either. We confuse people , which is fun somedays and
somedays not.
My personal "resolve" is to not change who I am for anyone. ever.
wrinkles show a life well lived (or character I've always heard)
I have many.
This chip on my shoulder, isnt really a chip it's called survival.
I'm sure I'm not alone in having one and I love that it has kept me safe.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by Martina

I have known butches who ID as butch but would do a double take if their girlfriend referred to them as "my butch" or frequently referred to them as butch at all. A lot of folks who are butch ID'd do not use the word a ton. I know of two who have complained when others have overused it referring to them. The others may have been trying to impose gender expectations on these people or were overly foregrounding gender.

Just adding that point.

Thank you for this, Martina!

[Wolfsong]

On another thread I said;

“To the jackass that spent 15 minutes staring at me yesterday, your thoughts were loud and clear; "Is that a guy or a girl?" I have an answer for you......

Fuck off”

In greater Chicagoland, my gender identity to the general outside world seems to be directly linked to the length of my hair regardless of my choice of clothing. I wasn’t really kidding about that. I just spent a week in South Carolina. There was no deviation; I was addressed as Ma’am 100% of the time. There is it a sign of respect and I accept it as such.

My own fur bristled more at the word “Pal” (Sorry, I know you didn’t mean to offend in using it) than it did at “girl” but then again I don’t like being called dude, bro, or buddy either by people who don’t know me.

At work my team is well aware of who we (my partner and I) are. I am also referred to on occasion as “girl” “hoe” and “bitch” as local colloquialism. I find no offense in it as it is intended to include me in the group rather than belittle or offend. They are all straight and often ask the most interesting (?) questions. It’s ok by me as I know they feel safe enough to ask me “stupid” questions without fear of being dressed down for doing so.

For me, girl is just another word among many. We can choose to claim it as we claim dyke, pussy, c@#t (sorry guys, that word is the ultimo ick factor for me) or bitch. Or reject it as we do others along the way. I'd be interested in knowing why some "claim" a word and reverse its power while other words do not seem to make that list.