Grieving

[Ginger]

Whenever I experience loss, I start to dream again about my sister.

After she died I found two poems on her hard drive she'd written about me, that I'd never seen. She left me that gift.

And now that I'm leaving my partner's or I guess ex-partner's house and my sense of home and security is in a little bit of distress (it's also an exciting time), my sister is more present in my mind.

"The sea will never be displaced by me," she wrote in an ironic poem I insisted they put in the program for her funeral, though it had people scratching their heads. She was humble and also had this wry distant sense of how unique her mind was.

Twice I've called my ex by her name, and last night I dreamed my sister was my roommate, and our apartment was incredibly light and sunny, with lots of people coming and going, and the chaos was comforting. I thought it was a good sign.