Dating other femmes exes: what do you think?

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by gaea

I have been reading the last few pages wow how one topic can pose so many different questions....So I have one of my own now this is theoretical and or hypothetical so keep that in mind and I will use letters to represent person's...

Persons A & B are in a relationship that lasts less than 1 year and they break up.

Person A begins dating several people up to an including sex etc.

Person B is seen at a party flirting with Person C who does not know person A at all

so here is my question

Does person C owe "femme" code to person A because they happen to be at the same party? if so why?

Does person A at any time owe anything to person B?

Considering Person A is dating/flirting/ having sexual relations with another and or many others.

Who owes what to whom in this scenario and why?

For me, there's no hard and fast rule about any of it because the core issue isn't how long a relationship lasted, how many people an ex is dating, etc. For me, the core issue is simply this...if I have been in a relationship with someone and professed to care about them and their well-being, and we have broken up and they are in pain or struggling with it, then I'm not gonna jam my new love up in their face.

For me, it's about respecting the people that you once professed to love.

I don't think new partners "owe" anything...because the responsibility for the ended relationship isn't (presumably) on them unless they were an instigator in the breakup.

Again, just for me, it's about tact and respect and compassion.

Time itself isn't the issue. If my best friend breaks up with her partner, then that partner is not a prospective date or partner for me for life....just because it would feel too strange to me, even if my best friend claimed to be okay with it.

Having said that, I have exes that I would happily send off with a letter of recommendation and a batch of cookies to the next person that could presumably make them happier than I did...and just smile if I saw them smooching it up on the dance floor.

I think we're all intelligent enough to know when our ex is still hurting or struggling. As a friend of mine says "it's not rocket surgery." Breakups leave us all (I assume) raw and hurting.

Now.....if significant time goes by and the ex is freaking out if we are simply respectfully moving on.....then they need to get into some counseling, talk to their friends, or do whatever else they need to do to deal with their own feelings.