broken hearts

chakra · 11-05-2012, 04:28 PM

I have been single for three years. I had my heart shattered. I never swore off another relationship, I just didn't care to look. I have taken this time to:

enter into therapy - what an 'adventure'
move my adult children out of the house
live by myself
and most importantly:

LIVE FOR MYSELF

I don't have answers for anyone. I barely have answers for myself. However, I have learnt, I need to know me, before I can truly know another.

This is the longest I have been single since I was 13. I am well over that age now.

Hearts break. I don't. My heart is a part of me, NOT all of me.

chris1life · 05-21-2013, 08:31 AM

I know this thread has been long silent and well I need to vent. I suppose being anonymous to a certain extent makes this easier. My wife doesn't get on line for anything other than work so maybe I can open about my broken heart. First off I know that I am no where near perfect. I'm Moody,stubborn And can be insensitive. What I'm not is a cheater, or cold hearted. On the outside I can be tough And can hide emotions. Today though its hard to hide. My wife identifies as bisexual and I have tried to be understanding but I can't share her. I understand She has needs but when we moved in together we talked And I was honest I cant and wont share. Does that make me wrong. I don't want anyone else is it ok that she does? Is it ok That she talks to men even though I thought our life together was just that our life. Am I being selfish that I asked her to leave? 11 years I've spent With her and Have been Happy. I guess she wasn't. Every time I catch her talking romantically to someone else it breaks my heart. I've loved that woman so deeply that I thought we would make it against all odds. I know I'll live through this broken heart but how do u pick up the pieces. How do u dust yourself off after believing you had met your soul mate and finding out u just aren't enough to keep her Happy.? I'm not saying its wrong if someone else can have an open relationship Its wrong. I just can't do it. I feel like I have a huge empty hole in my chest. She is the only woman I've had in my life sense I was pretty much a kid. We have a lot of history. Maybe this isn't the proper thread for this but had to Get it off my chest. My kids believe she is working out of town my family isn't aware of this yet. I've asked her to leave. Big changes coming my way I suppose. Sorry if this the wrong place for this. A lot going on in my head and heart.

chris1life · 05-23-2013, 07:41 AM

Well her stuff is gone the kids are spending time with her today. I'm still completely in love with her and it all happened so fast. One day I'm comfortable in love and happy. Next thing I know 11 Yes are down the drain. Years of raising kids together, dealing with issues of life, And then its over. I think I'm still in shock. The heart ache is just starting. I wonder if I didn't do something right or didn't pay enough attention. Who knows. She wants to lead a "straight" lifestyle. Maybe its the large age gap she is 13 years older. Oh well I will learn to sleep alone again. Ha though the thought of dating again is terrifying. If I could get this ache to go away that's lodged deep in my chest I'd feel a lot better. I'll pick up the pieces and go on with my life eventually...

Novelafemme · 05-23-2013, 07:50 AM

{{{Chris}}} I am so sorry you are hurting. Broken hearts are the worst, but from what I've read your heart is leading you in a different direction. Listen to it and trust that in time you will be right where you belong. Have faith and be good to yourself right now. Lots of love and strength to you, xoxo Novela

chris1life · 05-23-2013, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

{{{Chris}}} I am so sorry you are hurting. Broken hearts are the worst, but from what I've read your heart is leading you in a different direction. Listen to it and trust that in time you will be right where you belong. Have faith and be good to yourself right now. Lots of love and strength to you, xoxo Novela

THANK YOU! You are very right. I'm going to work on myself. In a way the thought of learning who I am without her is very exciting

Heavenleahangel · 05-23-2013, 08:21 AM

{{{Chris}}} I agree with the above replies that broken hearts are one of the worst things to endure. I feel what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Lord knows I've had my fair share of them.
One thing I have come to appreciate after a break up is to be thankful for the length of time you had that you were happy with someone and to be thankful for all the things you learned about yourself while in the relationship.
We all have the ability to come away from every situation with knowledge and empowerment to be a better person and in time, to be happy again. It may seem impossible, but stay positive and be good to yourself! You have lots of support here.

Queenie · 05-23-2013, 08:51 AM

Seven years ago, I had my heart broken so badly I thought I was going to die. Hy did such a number on me that it took me months to come back to the land of living. I think what hurt me the most was, I found out hy was a player with a capital P! There is a part of my heart that will always be broken from what hy did to me.

The funny thing is, a year after almost to the day, I got an email from the dude I am now married to wanting to know what my user name meant. I so wasn't looking for love or even a hook-up. We started to talk and before I knew it, I had let him into my heart.

Love and heart ache are just an odd thing! They really do go hand and hand. If you are in that dark place we all go to when our hearts are broken, just take it easy! And know that the pain will slowly melt in time and you will become a stronger person at the end of it all. It might not happen over night, but it will!

Oh I hope none of that sounded overly cheesy or mushy...

femm_cb · 05-23-2013, 04:40 PM

Chris - I am so sorry you are heart broken right now. Take this time to grieve the loss of your marriage. 11 years is a long time to be with someone and it's not an easy process to get over.

My thoughts are with you friend.

05-23-2013, 08:21 AM	#6
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,068 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675554	{{{Chris}}} I agree with the above replies that broken hearts are one of the worst things to endure. I feel what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Lord knows I've had my fair share of them. One thing I have come to appreciate after a break up is to be thankful for the length of time you had that you were happy with someone and to be thankful for all the things you learned about yourself while in the relationship. We all have the ability to come away from every situation with knowledge and empowerment to be a better person and in time, to be happy again. It may seem impossible, but stay positive and be good to yourself! You have lots of support here. __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

05-23-2013, 04:40 PM	#8
femm_cb Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Bitch Preferred Pronoun?: BITCH Join Date: May 2013 Location: US-FUCKING A Posts: 70 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32 Thanked 183 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 3120838	Take time Chris - I am so sorry you are heart broken right now. Take this time to grieve the loss of your marriage. 11 years is a long time to be with someone and it's not an easy process to get over. My thoughts are with you friend. __________________ ~ Chris

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11-05-2012, 04:28 PM	#1
chakra Junior Member How Do You Identify?: female Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: canada Posts: 16 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24 Thanked 76 Times in 14 Posts Rep Power: 1764517	I have been single for three years. I had my heart shattered. I never swore off another relationship, I just didn't care to look. I have taken this time to: enter into therapy - what an 'adventure' move my adult children out of the house live by myself and most importantly: LIVE FOR MYSELF I don't have answers for anyone. I barely have answers for myself. However, I have learnt, I need to know me, before I can truly know another. This is the longest I have been single since I was 13. I am well over that age now. Hearts break. I don't. My heart is a part of me, NOT all of me.

05-21-2013, 08:31 AM	#2
chris1life Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, syr, he Join Date: May 2013 Location: US Posts: 84 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 90 Thanked 276 Times in 66 Posts Rep Power: 2169073	I know this thread has been long silent and well I need to vent. I suppose being anonymous to a certain extent makes this easier. My wife doesn't get on line for anything other than work so maybe I can open about my broken heart. First off I know that I am no where near perfect. I'm Moody,stubborn And can be insensitive. What I'm not is a cheater, or cold hearted. On the outside I can be tough And can hide emotions. Today though its hard to hide. My wife identifies as bisexual and I have tried to be understanding but I can't share her. I understand She has needs but when we moved in together we talked And I was honest I cant and wont share. Does that make me wrong. I don't want anyone else is it ok that she does? Is it ok That she talks to men even though I thought our life together was just that our life. Am I being selfish that I asked her to leave? 11 years I've spent With her and Have been Happy. I guess she wasn't. Every time I catch her talking romantically to someone else it breaks my heart. I've loved that woman so deeply that I thought we would make it against all odds. I know I'll live through this broken heart but how do u pick up the pieces. How do u dust yourself off after believing you had met your soul mate and finding out u just aren't enough to keep her Happy.? I'm not saying its wrong if someone else can have an open relationship Its wrong. I just can't do it. I feel like I have a huge empty hole in my chest. She is the only woman I've had in my life sense I was pretty much a kid. We have a lot of history. Maybe this isn't the proper thread for this but had to Get it off my chest. My kids believe she is working out of town my family isn't aware of this yet. I've asked her to leave. Big changes coming my way I suppose. Sorry if this the wrong place for this. A lot going on in my head and heart.

05-23-2013, 07:41 AM	#3
chris1life Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, syr, he Join Date: May 2013 Location: US Posts: 84 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 90 Thanked 276 Times in 66 Posts Rep Power: 2169073	Well her stuff is gone the kids are spending time with her today. I'm still completely in love with her and it all happened so fast. One day I'm comfortable in love and happy. Next thing I know 11 Yes are down the drain. Years of raising kids together, dealing with issues of life, And then its over. I think I'm still in shock. The heart ache is just starting. I wonder if I didn't do something right or didn't pay enough attention. Who knows. She wants to lead a "straight" lifestyle. Maybe its the large age gap she is 13 years older. Oh well I will learn to sleep alone again. Ha though the thought of dating again is terrifying. If I could get this ache to go away that's lodged deep in my chest I'd feel a lot better. I'll pick up the pieces and go on with my life eventually...

05-23-2013, 07:50 AM	#4
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	{{{Chris}}} I am so sorry you are hurting. Broken hearts are the worst, but from what I've read your heart is leading you in a different direction. Listen to it and trust that in time you will be right where you belong. Have faith and be good to yourself right now. Lots of love and strength to you, xoxo Novela

05-23-2013, 08:51 AM	#7
Queenie Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: Her Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: East Finchley Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 478 Thanked 1,885 Times in 523 Posts Rep Power: 16307164	Seven years ago, I had my heart broken so badly I thought I was going to die. Hy did such a number on me that it took me months to come back to the land of living. I think what hurt me the most was, I found out hy was a player with a capital P! There is a part of my heart that will always be broken from what hy did to me. The funny thing is, a year after almost to the day, I got an email from the dude I am now married to wanting to know what my user name meant. I so wasn't looking for love or even a hook-up. We started to talk and before I knew it, I had let him into my heart. Love and heart ache are just an odd thing! They really do go hand and hand. If you are in that dark place we all go to when our hearts are broken, just take it easy! And know that the pain will slowly melt in time and you will become a stronger person at the end of it all. It might not happen over night, but it will! Oh I hope none of that sounded overly cheesy or mushy...