broken hearts

Novelafemme · 05-23-2013, 07:50 AM

{{{Chris}}} I am so sorry you are hurting. Broken hearts are the worst, but from what I've read your heart is leading you in a different direction. Listen to it and trust that in time you will be right where you belong. Have faith and be good to yourself right now. Lots of love and strength to you, xoxo Novela

chris1life · 05-23-2013, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

{{{Chris}}} I am so sorry you are hurting. Broken hearts are the worst, but from what I've read your heart is leading you in a different direction. Listen to it and trust that in time you will be right where you belong. Have faith and be good to yourself right now. Lots of love and strength to you, xoxo Novela

THANK YOU! You are very right. I'm going to work on myself. In a way the thought of learning who I am without her is very exciting

Heavenleahangel · 05-23-2013, 08:21 AM

{{{Chris}}} I agree with the above replies that broken hearts are one of the worst things to endure. I feel what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Lord knows I've had my fair share of them.
One thing I have come to appreciate after a break up is to be thankful for the length of time you had that you were happy with someone and to be thankful for all the things you learned about yourself while in the relationship.
We all have the ability to come away from every situation with knowledge and empowerment to be a better person and in time, to be happy again. It may seem impossible, but stay positive and be good to yourself! You have lots of support here.

Queenie · 05-23-2013, 08:51 AM

Seven years ago, I had my heart broken so badly I thought I was going to die. Hy did such a number on me that it took me months to come back to the land of living. I think what hurt me the most was, I found out hy was a player with a capital P! There is a part of my heart that will always be broken from what hy did to me.

The funny thing is, a year after almost to the day, I got an email from the dude I am now married to wanting to know what my user name meant. I so wasn't looking for love or even a hook-up. We started to talk and before I knew it, I had let him into my heart.

Love and heart ache are just an odd thing! They really do go hand and hand. If you are in that dark place we all go to when our hearts are broken, just take it easy! And know that the pain will slowly melt in time and you will become a stronger person at the end of it all. It might not happen over night, but it will!

Oh I hope none of that sounded overly cheesy or mushy...

chris1life · 05-23-2013, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queenie

Oh I hope none of that sounded overly cheesy or mushy...

Thank u for That. No to me it sounds truthful and promising.
Yea right now I think I'm on auto pilot. If I'm honest with myself I knew what was going on but didn't want to believe it. Its strange how u can close your eyes stick Your head in the sand and pretend stuff isn't happening. I will say this though I am in NO WAY perfect LOL. I know this is completely off thread but is it normal to lay in bed at night after a break up and think. Holy shit I'm going to have to eventually have sex with someone new and let them see me naked. Ha yea my emotions are all over the page

ruby_woo · 05-23-2013, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chris1life

I know this is completely off thread but is it normal to lay in bed at night after a break up and think. Holy shit I'm going to have to eventually have sex with someone new and let them see me naked. Ha yea my emotions are all over the page

It's not off thread! I think it's totally normal. When my 8 year relationship broke up about a year and half ago, I definitely had a "Holy crap, how am I going to sleep with someone else?" moment. But then I did just that a few months later, soo...lol. It just takes time, right?

Anyway, I'm sorry you're hurting. The break-up of a long-term relationship is always painful and shocking, even if you kind of saw it coming. Not going to lie, it will probably suck for the next little bit, but then I promise it will get much better.

Novelafemme · 05-23-2013, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chris1life

Thank u for That. No to me it sounds truthful and promising.
Yea right now I think I'm on auto pilot. If I'm honest with myself I knew what was going on but didn't want to believe it. Its strange how u can close your eyes stick Your head in the sand and pretend stuff isn't happening. I will say this though I am in NO WAY perfect LOL. I know this is completely off thread but is it normal to lay in bed at night after a break up and think. Holy shit I'm going to have to eventually have sex with someone new and let them see me naked. Ha yea my emotions are all over the page

I, like Ruby, remember thinking the same thing when my 15 year marriage came to an end. Like, OH MY GOD!!! Someone is going to see me NAKED one day? Like, ALL OF ME? Naked? I think I then had a panic attack and the world exploded.

I have since then been naked in front of others and while I did hear a crack in the surface, the earth seems to be fairly intact.

Novelafemme · 05-23-2013, 11:07 AM

I just got received this email from my Rumi quote of the day and thought it to be perfect for this thread.

"The chemistry of mind is different from the chemistry of love. The mind is careful, suspicious, he advances little by little. He advices “Be careful, protect yourself” Whereas love says “Let yourself, go!” The mind is strong, never fells down, while love hurts itself, fells into ruins. But isn’t it in ruins that we mostly find the treasures? A broken heart hides so many treasures."

~ Shams Tabrizi ♥♥♥

chris1life · 05-23-2013, 11:13 AM

Y'all definitely make me feel much. Its good to laugh and y'all did do just that. LOL I could just see me now alone with a nice femme she gets udressed I freak out and have a heart attack. I think that Would put a damper on our fun. My body has dang sure changed since I was 23.

femm_cb · 05-23-2013, 04:40 PM

Chris - I am so sorry you are heart broken right now. Take this time to grieve the loss of your marriage. 11 years is a long time to be with someone and it's not an easy process to get over.

My thoughts are with you friend.

chris1life · 05-25-2013, 06:27 AM

Survived a Friday night without her. I carried on like I would any Friday night. I went to some friends house cooked out laughed and appeared fine. My friends were in shock that I wasn't laying in the floor crying. What They don't know is I felt like I couldn't breath. I felt lonely even though I wasn't alone. I'm so used to her holding my hand she was real touchy feely so all night I felt like something was missing. Every Damn thing reminds me of her. It pisses me off that she can go on a trip with her boyfriend and not think twice about me when all I can think about is her. Then sends me a text "you could be here too" hell no I can't. I understand that there are plenty of people that has open relationships but I'm not one of them. I'm not sharing it Would b different if we had agreed to see other people or have always brought other people to our bed but we haven't. She used the excuse people aren't made to be With just one person well I guess I'm real messed up because I havent cheated and haven't wanted to. If I have to bend who and what I am to be with her I would rather be without

Beloved · 05-25-2013, 06:35 AM

I'm so sorry. It gets better. I know that is cliche but it really does. Take extra good care of yourself. See friends, don't isolate yourself. Every day will get slightly better than the last...and you might feel fine for awhile and it will hit you again. Just remember it's temporary and you will heal.

Heavenleahangel · 05-25-2013, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chris1life

Survived a Friday night without her. I carried on like I would any Friday night. I went to some friends house cooked out laughed and appeared fine. My friends were in shock that I wasn't laying in the floor crying. What They don't know is I felt like I couldn't breath. I felt lonely even though I wasn't alone. I'm so used to her holding my hand she was real touchy feely so all night I felt like something was missing. Every Damn thing reminds me of her. It pisses me off that she can go on a trip with her boyfriend and not think twice about me when all I can think about is her. Then sends me a text "you could be here too" hell no I can't. I understand that there are plenty of people that has open relationships but I'm not one of them. I'm not sharing it Would b different if we had agreed to see other people or have always brought other people to our bed but we haven't. She used the excuse people aren't made to be With just one person well I guess I'm real messed up because I havent cheated and haven't wanted to. If I have to bend who and what I am to be with her I would rather be without

Good Morning, Chris; If you are "real messed up" cuz you believe in monogamy and don't wanna share, then move over cuz I'm climbing in the boat with you!!! You're not alone in the feelings you have. I hope today is brighter and better than yesterday. {{{hugs}}}

chris1life · 05-25-2013, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heavenleahangel

Good Morning, Chris; If you are "real messed up" cuz you believe in monogamy and don't wanna share, then move over cuz I'm climbing in the boat with you!!! You're not alone in the feelings you have. I hope today is brighter and better than yesterday. {{{hugs}}}

Oh yea I think today is going to be good. Headed to the river jets skiing always makes me smile! Thankful I'm not the only one that believes in monogamy I thought for a minute Maybe I'd missed something over the years. I'm a little old school as far as that goes. I'll get over her no doubt but I know its going to be rough. Glad I can come here to vent after years of being with her all our friends are that OUR friends and while I am angry and hurt I don't want to talk to them about her. I don't want to add to the drama of a break up with drawing a line in the sand With them. She isn't a bad person just finding her way

05-23-2013, 08:21 AM	#3
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,068 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675554	{{{Chris}}} I agree with the above replies that broken hearts are one of the worst things to endure. I feel what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Lord knows I've had my fair share of them. One thing I have come to appreciate after a break up is to be thankful for the length of time you had that you were happy with someone and to be thankful for all the things you learned about yourself while in the relationship. We all have the ability to come away from every situation with knowledge and empowerment to be a better person and in time, to be happy again. It may seem impossible, but stay positive and be good to yourself! You have lots of support here. __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

05-23-2013, 04:40 PM	#10
femm_cb Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Bitch Preferred Pronoun?: BITCH Join Date: May 2013 Location: US-FUCKING A Posts: 70 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32 Thanked 183 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 3120838	Take time Chris - I am so sorry you are heart broken right now. Take this time to grieve the loss of your marriage. 11 years is a long time to be with someone and it's not an easy process to get over. My thoughts are with you friend. __________________ ~ Chris

05-23-2013, 07:50 AM	#1
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	{{{Chris}}} I am so sorry you are hurting. Broken hearts are the worst, but from what I've read your heart is leading you in a different direction. Listen to it and trust that in time you will be right where you belong. Have faith and be good to yourself right now. Lots of love and strength to you, xoxo Novela

05-23-2013, 08:51 AM	#4
Queenie Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: Her Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: East Finchley Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 478 Thanked 1,886 Times in 523 Posts Rep Power: 16307164	Seven years ago, I had my heart broken so badly I thought I was going to die. Hy did such a number on me that it took me months to come back to the land of living. I think what hurt me the most was, I found out hy was a player with a capital P! There is a part of my heart that will always be broken from what hy did to me. The funny thing is, a year after almost to the day, I got an email from the dude I am now married to wanting to know what my user name meant. I so wasn't looking for love or even a hook-up. We started to talk and before I knew it, I had let him into my heart. Love and heart ache are just an odd thing! They really do go hand and hand. If you are in that dark place we all go to when our hearts are broken, just take it easy! And know that the pain will slowly melt in time and you will become a stronger person at the end of it all. It might not happen over night, but it will! Oh I hope none of that sounded overly cheesy or mushy...

05-23-2013, 11:07 AM	#8
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	I just got received this email from my Rumi quote of the day and thought it to be perfect for this thread. "The chemistry of mind is different from the chemistry of love. The mind is careful, suspicious, he advances little by little. He advices “Be careful, protect yourself” Whereas love says “Let yourself, go!” The mind is strong, never fells down, while love hurts itself, fells into ruins. But isn’t it in ruins that we mostly find the treasures? A broken heart hides so many treasures." ~ Shams Tabrizi ♥♥♥

05-23-2013, 11:13 AM	#9
chris1life Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, syr, he Join Date: May 2013 Location: US Posts: 84 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 90 Thanked 276 Times in 66 Posts Rep Power: 2169073	Y'all definitely make me feel much. Its good to laugh and y'all did do just that. LOL I could just see me now alone with a nice femme she gets udressed I freak out and have a heart attack. I think that Would put a damper on our fun. My body has dang sure changed since I was 23.

05-25-2013, 06:27 AM	#11
chris1life Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, syr, he Join Date: May 2013 Location: US Posts: 84 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 90 Thanked 276 Times in 66 Posts Rep Power: 2169073	Survived a Friday night without her. I carried on like I would any Friday night. I went to some friends house cooked out laughed and appeared fine. My friends were in shock that I wasn't laying in the floor crying. What They don't know is I felt like I couldn't breath. I felt lonely even though I wasn't alone. I'm so used to her holding my hand she was real touchy feely so all night I felt like something was missing. Every Damn thing reminds me of her. It pisses me off that she can go on a trip with her boyfriend and not think twice about me when all I can think about is her. Then sends me a text "you could be here too" hell no I can't. I understand that there are plenty of people that has open relationships but I'm not one of them. I'm not sharing it Would b different if we had agreed to see other people or have always brought other people to our bed but we haven't. She used the excuse people aren't made to be With just one person well I guess I'm real messed up because I havent cheated and haven't wanted to. If I have to bend who and what I am to be with her I would rather be without

05-25-2013, 06:35 AM	#12
Beloved Member How Do You Identify?: alive Preferred Pronoun?: um Relationship Status: married Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: on the stars Posts: 460 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,415 Thanked 1,653 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 19348704	I'm so sorry. It gets better. I know that is cliche but it really does. Take extra good care of yourself. See friends, don't isolate yourself. Every day will get slightly better than the last...and you might feel fine for awhile and it will hit you again. Just remember it's temporary and you will heal.