Unconditional Love... is it really unconditional?

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

Personally, I think only animals and little children can give unconditional love because they depend on us. No matter how you treat them, they'll always come back because they need you. As children get older, they learn to fend for themselves and unconditional love will no longer exist. Seems as we grow older, if you can't accept the good, bad and ugly in a partner, you'll never be able to give or receive unconditional love.

Originally Posted by Passionaria

Unconditional love, is akin to purity of heart. It is a completely unselfish state of love. It isn't dependent on receiving anything in return. I agree that children and animals have this, also many Mothers. My children have tested me in about every way possible, and what it had taught me is that the love I have for them isn't dependent on who they choose to be, even how they act, or what they achieve. The love I have for them exists before any of that. I may not always like what they do, but no matter what, I love them, and would move heaven and earth on their behalf.

It's harder to feel that for someone you didn't give birth to, but I do believe it is possible. You have to be careful not to damage the Love before it grows strong, though.

Pashi

Originally Posted by adorable

I can say with absolute certainty that no matter what my kids may ever do - my love for them would never change. I might not approve of whatever it is...and trust me I've already been there with the big one. lol. They are my kids, my heart and my purpose for being on this earth. For whatever shortcomings I might see in them, I think that means I have failed them in significant ways - yet they still love me. I would never tell them who or what they have to be for me to love them.

In my family I am probably closest to my grandparents. We have never spoken of my queerness. It was just understood. Do they love me? I suppose. I think they do it the only way they know how. To expect more of them doesn't seem fair. They're old. They believe what they believe. It would be disrespectful of me to try to change them in the same way it would be for them to try and change me. I don't like some of the choices they make either. I love them though and would do anything for them.

I have learned unconditional love from my kids. They taught me that. Because of them I can love my close friends unconditionally, my brother and even my grandparents. I certainly didn't have it from my mother growing up. There was nowhere else I would have learned it from. No matter what the significant people in my life may do - my love for them is always there.

As much as my friends tease me about being a mother (as in, they used to buy me Mother's Day cards ), and there is definitely a caretaker and mothering instinct in me, I am not a mother...and could not speak from this perspective.

But I am sure my mother could. When I think about it this way...well, I know that my parents love(d) me completely unconditionally. I am sure I *tested* them many a time. And they still loved me. And I am sure they taught me to also love this way. I admire you parents in this way. Do you think you would still love them unconditionally if they did something really awful? I guess it is hard to say "what if"....

I think about friends whom I've had over the years who have done things which I did not agree with, but I still loved them. I guess, unconditionally. I had a few friends who did really fucked up stuff and I chose to separate from the friendship. Was I then withholding the unconditional love?