Long Distance Relationships

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Boots13

So I've read about lying, dishonesty, misleading statements, moral codes, ethics etc...All valid mannerisms and behaviors to explore with your new love. But after all the "deal-breakers" are recognized and you move forward,
consider this: the hardship of relocation.

We dated for 2 years before making the move.
I'm not saying we (I) didnt have my hangups or problems, I did. Nor am I saying that she was the reason for our dissolution...she was not...disclaimer finished...

We were, by friends and family definitions, "rock solid". We had our eyes wide open. But the hardship was excrutiating. It hurt so deeply watching her bravely make her way in her new community. She never complained, but I could see the pain and frustration in her eyes when she had to find a store for this or a driving route for that, even to find her way back home...her whole routine was upended.

Her friends were now distant, her family was 3000 miles away.
But you have to know it is PAINFUL watching someone you love struggle with their decision to relocate. It is heartwrenching to see that, despite your love and support, the person that has relocated FOR YOU may be in pain and suffering lonliness for the life they created before you.

It is a responsibility and an obligation that both parties need to know how to handle. How to communicate through. How to embrace the loss of the past as well as the joy of the future...

And none of this has anything to do with deceit or mis-representation...it has everything to do with the result of long distance love and the relocation that may be imminent in your future.

I could not endure watching my loved one lonely for her previous life, job, friends, or the family left behind...and that's why I say I would never engage in a long distance relationship again.

This is the most thoughtful thing I've ever read in my life (and I'm not prone to exaggeration!).

I moved from Brooklyn to Long Island to live with someone, and one of the reasons I moved back to Brooklyn, after a couple years, was her unconsciousness of, or disregard for the sense of isolation it caused me, even though I was only about an hour out of the City.

I was terribly lonely; she doesn't have friends out there and for reasons I don't want to share, I gave up trying to be part of the twice-weekly gatherings with her family.

Now that I've returned to Brooklyn, we are back to being just "girlfriends," in what feels like an LDR to me, but probably wouldn't qualify as such to people on this site who've had to use airplanes to get to each other.

So far, it's just what I've been yearning for. We've had more dates, more conversations—she calls me every night, and isn't in a hurry; we talk for up to an hour—than in my whole last year living in her house. To me, a good LDR is way better than a painful live-in relationship, and I just don't feel the compelling need to share a home with someone, that I used to have.

But in getting back to my original point, your awareness of how hard it was for your partner to relocate to Your World, really touched me. I hope you find someone soon, in your town, to be with.