Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

[Dance-with-me]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Is there a point, age wise, when you can see yourself letting go of
the need for bells, whistles, and fireworks in exchange for pleasant,
consistent, mutually satisfying, supportive companionship?

Well, I have to say that at almost 54 I just found more bells, whistles and fireworks with my new gf who is 64 years old today than I ever had with anyone when I was younger, and this is in addition to the "pleasant, consistent, mutually satisfying, supportive companionship" and so much more. I put out a LONG list to the universe of what I needed and wanted and absolutely would not compromise on, while feeling certain that I'd NEVER find what I wanted because I was way too particular and my standards were way too high, and yet found someone who met every single thing on my list just days later.

And in a delightful twist, a few weeks ago she went through a box of her mom's papers and phots with her sisters, and they found a long list she'd made in 1983 of what she wanted, and I met every characteristic.

So my thought is, whether it takes three days or thirty years to get what you know you want, as long as those things are truly qualities of who that person really IS instead of more superficial characteristics, then you need to hold tight to what you know is right for you.