What TO DO in a relationship.....

girl_dee · 03-17-2013, 11:40 AM

live a reality based life.

little_ms_sunshyne · 03-17-2013, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

live a reality based life.

I like this one!

stepfordfemme · 03-17-2013, 12:16 PM

Listen even when you're angry.

Love and put yourself first.

Diablo · 03-17-2013, 12:19 PM

we need a what NOT to do in a relationship...for us relationship challenged individuals.....just sayin'

girl_dee · 03-17-2013, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsychoSlipknot

we need a what NOT to do in a relationship...for us relationship challenged individuals.....just sayin'

there is one, it prompted me to start this one!

Enchantress · 03-17-2013, 06:05 PM

Remember that the darkness, right before sleep, is the perfect time to whisper sweet nothings into your lovers ear. Intimacy, it's a gift.

Queenie · 03-17-2013, 06:26 PM

Do not tell your better half everything!
They dont need to know the sort of poo you just had! Or that you just dug out a really huge booger from your nose. And space. You don't need to be stuck to their hip all the bloody time. (If you have been with this person for more then five years, then none of this applies.)

Duchess · 03-17-2013, 06:29 PM

Of course as an adult we can choose to do whatever we want. However, we must remember that PERCEPTION is a bitch.

Gráinne · 03-17-2013, 06:35 PM

Do everything in your power to see that your words match your actions. Better yet, fewer words, more actions.

girl_dee · 03-18-2013, 06:22 AM

That is a good one Grainne, Words with no actions are worthless. Do follow through and remember your promises.

Enchantress · 03-18-2013, 08:57 PM

Always check yourself before speaking in anger or frustration. Why? Because words can be forgiven but never forgotten.

Kobi · 03-19-2013, 06:09 AM

The most important thing I ever learned about relationships is to not waste time and energy reinventing the wheel. The other person in the relationship wants basically the same things you do.

Namely, to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, respected, cared for and about, desired and desirable, important, special, safe and secure etc.

How you demonstrate these might be different, but they should guide everything you do and say. As people show these in different ways, it helps when your styles mesh. If you arent meshing well in the actions department, it helps for both to be able and willing to listen, learn and make adjustments as necessary.

For me, it all boils down to action and behavior, not words and intentions.

Jean_TX · 03-19-2013, 08:45 AM

In a relationship,
- Remember that there are three entities involved: me, her, and “us”.
- Balance the attention and care given to each entity.
- Treat entity with kindness and respect.

girl_dee · 03-19-2013, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enchantress

Always check yourself before speaking in anger or frustration. Why? Because words can be forgiven but never forgotten.

Nope they cannot be taken back and for me, stay with me forever.

Enchantress · 03-20-2013, 12:06 PM

Retain a bit of mystery.

Not everything needs to be scrutinized, talked about, shown or explained.

Always leave a few beautiful bits to the imagination and keep some for yourself.

As Martha would say, "it's a good thing".

kittygrrl · 03-22-2013, 04:15 PM

kiss often

TheMerryFairy · 03-22-2013, 04:17 PM

Respect and be attentive!

Ascot · 03-17-2013, 12:29 PM

I think it's vital to be selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way I interpret that word at its root. Be focused on your self. Have a rich inner life. Be complete unto yourself so that you can bring a whole, fully formed you to the mix. That whole "you complete me" thing disturbs me. I don't want to complete you, but I'd love to be your balancing counterpart. I'll gladly be the savory to your sweet and want you to be the acid in my base.

girl_dee · 03-17-2013, 12:34 PM

Ascot i get that completely. i don't want to need another to complete me as a human. i am not missing any parts (Syr may disagree!)
i want to be ME. i am ok with me, i beat me up and need improvement of course, but never wish to be so dependent on another that i lose myself.

Be you whoever you are, becoming a mirror image of someone else cannot be healthy.

little_ms_sunshyne · 03-17-2013, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AscotButch

I think it's vital to be selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way I interpret that word at its root. Be focused on your self. Have a rich inner life. Be complete unto yourself so that you can bring a whole, fully formed you to the mix. That whole "you complete me" thing disturbs me. I don't want to complete you, but I'd love to be your balancing counterpart. I'll gladly be the savory to your sweet and want you to be acid in my base.

I like this! In fact I just had a conversation with a friend about a similar topic. I am a hopeless romantic but stand on my own two feet. I want someone that compliments me and I them. Thanks for sharing.

03-17-2013, 12:16 PM	#3
stepfordfemme Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme-inist. Preferred Pronoun?: Female ones :) Relationship Status: I really really like someone. Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 237 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 427 Thanked 865 Times in 193 Posts Rep Power: 10262850	I have two rules. Listen even when you're angry. Love and put yourself first. __________________ Love Well. Breathe Deeply.Dream Often.Live Boldly.

03-17-2013, 06:05 PM	#6
Enchantress Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A complex confection. Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The land of milk and honey. Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 741 Thanked 3,420 Times in 1,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	It's the big things that sometimes seem little. Remember that the darkness, right before sleep, is the perfect time to whisper sweet nothings into your lovers ear. Intimacy, it's a gift.

03-17-2013, 06:29 PM	#8
Duchess Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Toe curling :-) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 2,382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,792 Thanked 5,591 Times in 1,521 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	*Of course as an adult we can choose to do whatever we want. However, we must remember that PERCEPTION is a bitch.* __________________ *無料のライブ*

03-17-2013, 06:35 PM	#9
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,866 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,122 Thanked 7,396 Times in 1,459 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Do everything in your power to see that your words match your actions. Better yet, fewer words, more actions. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

03-18-2013, 08:57 PM	#11
Enchantress Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A complex confection. Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The land of milk and honey. Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 741 Thanked 3,420 Times in 1,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	They'll always be there ... Always check yourself before speaking in anger or frustration. Why? Because words can be forgiven but never forgotten.

03-17-2013, 11:40 AM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,819 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	live a reality based life.

03-17-2013, 12:19 PM	#4
Diablo Timed Out - Identity Issues How Do You Identify?: HUMAN Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Earth Posts: 843 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,128 Thanked 1,618 Times in 623 Posts Rep Power: 0	we need a what NOT to do in a relationship...for us relationship challenged individuals.....just sayin'

03-17-2013, 06:26 PM	#7
Queenie Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: Her Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: East Finchley Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 478 Thanked 1,885 Times in 523 Posts Rep Power: 16307165	Do not tell your better half everything! They dont need to know the sort of poo you just had! Or that you just dug out a really huge booger from your nose. And space. You don't need to be stuck to their hip all the bloody time. (If you have been with this person for more then five years, then none of this applies.)

03-18-2013, 06:22 AM	#10
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,819 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	That is a good one Grainne, Words with no actions are worthless. Do follow through and remember your promises.

03-19-2013, 06:09 AM	#12
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,615 Times in 7,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	The most important thing I ever learned about relationships is to not waste time and energy reinventing the wheel. The other person in the relationship wants basically the same things you do. Namely, to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, respected, cared for and about, desired and desirable, important, special, safe and secure etc. How you demonstrate these might be different, but they should guide everything you do and say. As people show these in different ways, it helps when your styles mesh. If you arent meshing well in the actions department, it helps for both to be able and willing to listen, learn and make adjustments as necessary. For me, it all boils down to action and behavior, not words and intentions. __________________

03-19-2013, 08:45 AM	#13
Jean_TX Junior Member How Do You Identify?: via driver's license Preferred Pronoun?: Jean Relationship Status: Not available Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 78 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 197 Thanked 216 Times in 61 Posts Rep Power: 1155757	In a relationship, - Remember that there are three entities involved: me, her, and “us”. - Balance the attention and care given to each entity. - Treat entity with kindness and respect. __________________ Why not just remove all the warning labels and let Nature take care of the problem?

03-20-2013, 12:06 PM	#15
Enchantress Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A complex confection. Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The land of milk and honey. Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 741 Thanked 3,420 Times in 1,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Because a life time is a long time ... Retain a bit of mystery. Not everything needs to be scrutinized, talked about, shown or explained. Always leave a few beautiful bits to the imagination and keep some for yourself. As Martha would say, "it's a good thing".

03-22-2013, 04:15 PM	#16
kittygrrl Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: 'Je ne sais quoi' Relationship Status: Til you believe Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: waking dream Posts: 10,206 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,807 Thanked 22,207 Times in 7,270 Posts Rep Power: 21474863	kiss often __________________ "Extinction is the rule. Survival is the exception Carl Sagan

03-22-2013, 04:17 PM	#17
TheMerryFairy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pansexual/Sapiosexual femmey dyke who likes to crossdress now and then Preferred Pronoun?: She/her OR ze if I'm crossdressing Relationship Status: Floating and walking My path, happy in life. Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: On my Merry Fairy way! , Canada Posts: 3,630 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,727 Thanked 8,694 Times in 2,987 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Respect and be attentive!

03-17-2013, 12:29 PM	#18
Ascot Member How Do You Identify?: Preppy Butch artist Relationship Status: Riding solo Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: North of the Emerald City Posts: 1,135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 179 Thanked 2,487 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I think it's vital to be selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way I interpret that word at its root. Be focused on your self. Have a rich inner life. Be complete unto yourself so that you can bring a whole, fully formed you to the mix. That whole "you complete me" thing disturbs me. I don't want to complete you, but I'd love to be your balancing counterpart. I'll gladly be the savory to your sweet and want you to be the acid in my base. __________________ Now, if I could just find a way to get paid for what I can do with my tongue and a cherry stem.

03-17-2013, 12:34 PM	#19
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,819 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Ascot i get that completely. i don't want to need another to complete me as a human. i am not missing any parts (Syr may disagree!) i want to be ME. i am ok with me, i beat me up and need improvement of course, but never wish to be so dependent on another that i lose myself. Be you whoever you are, becoming a mirror image of someone else cannot be healthy.

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