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10-08-2013, 09:53 PM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857   |
Friend: do I gotta feed it?
Me: :-) couldn't respond other than to giggle
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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10-28-2013, 07:23 PM
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#2 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
TG Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Down on the farm
Posts: 5,501
Thanks: 9,855
Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
My roommate and I took a truckload of garbage to the dump today. She crawls up in the back of the truck and hands stuff down to me to throw out. She can't see the step on the back of my truck as she gets down out of the back of the truck.
Sooo as she steps over the tailgate I try to guide her foot to the step, only she wanted the bumper not the step, I didn't know tbat. Her....make sure I get my foot on the step Me....ok, pulling her pants leg over and down toward the step Her....loudly.....damnit you are stretching me to far Me....laughing....huh Her...laughing....stop you are stretching me to far Us.....much laughter Me....thinking out loud....I don't think anybody ever told me that before
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Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it. |
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10-28-2013, 09:18 PM
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#3 | |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Quote:
.gif "Say What?") you're gonna post about that! Him: YEP! ******************************************** Ohhhh I guess this is pay back for me posting about you chasing Nemo??   OMG!! **song stuck in my head...ankle bone is connected to your leg bone....leg bone is connected to your ass bone...** I told you we need to start a journal about the funny thangs that happen around here!! You stretched my ankle so far, I thought my ass bone was gonna dislocate! When people read that you pulled my pants leg over and down, they're gonna think you were yanking my pants off! KNUCKLEHEAD!! Can you imagine, if you had done that, what the "LUMP on a log" dump employee would have done? Think he would have finally walked out of his tiny little shed? (disclaimer: no discrimination to people who work as sanitation employees.... however, this one guy was truly a lump on a log, non-helpful and gives good workers a bad name) .... Blade: Not only does this little boy remind me of you with your dark hair, his expression is perfect for my stretched ass bone!  SHIT HEARD ROUND THIS HOUSE.... While posting the above, I was at the desk and Blade walked up behind me...and very calmly, very matter-of-factly said "I like it hard like this." Me: spun around ...noticed mug in his hand full of ice cream ....   Him: (to the dog) Willy why'd you let me do that? Me: OH MY GOD!! (laughing too hard to breathe) I'm trying not to pee!
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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10-28-2013, 10:36 PM
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#4 |
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☆ the stars are aligned ☆
How Do You Identify?:
one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: nor cal
Posts: 2,910
Thanks: 3,644
Thanked 9,362 Times in 2,296 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854  |
We were discussing how my cousins younger than me have already had babies, and how my sister and I apparently missed the memo. Wife says this shows fertility in my family, when I texted my sister, she says it is sluttiness in our family.
Her: Well, WE didn't have sex before marriage at all.. *big grin* Me: Oh shut up. Her: You know, if we were a straight couple, your dad would have had his rifle out. Me: In this hypothetical straight couple, who is the guy in the relationship? I mean, I don't want to just ASSUME it's you.. Her: Okay.... Well then YOU would have the rifle, to hit me over the head with, and drag me back to your cave.Me: Whatttt? What do you mean cave?! Her: You would drag me back to the cave so you could ravish me.. Me: Her: Me: Oh.. my.. god *laughing* That is so going in the threads! |
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10-31-2013, 07:29 AM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
I Am Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
solo 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: the Beach, Pacific side
Posts: 4,160
Thanks: 5,354
Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Roomie enters room .... "hey, you left me with no toilet paper "
Me: OMG I'M so sorry! I meant to get a package, got distracted again! Roomie : "No, problem I used your towel " She didn't really .... but we got a good laugh out of it. Thank goddess for Kleenex. 
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12-03-2013, 12:51 PM
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#6 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
FTM Preferred Pronoun?:
guy ones Relationship Status:
... Join Date: May 2011
Location: chillin' in FL
Posts: 3,690
Thanks: 21,951
Thanked 9,680 Times in 2,875 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Me to my babe as I open the package of cordial cherries: Can I open your cherries.
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12-03-2013, 01:29 PM
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#7 |
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Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femmeinist Preferred Pronoun?:
femenine ones, "hey you," etc. Relationship Status:
Engaged! 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Missouri
Posts: 37
Thanks: 27
Thanked 85 Times in 23 Posts
Rep Power: 1722502 |
"The balls are wrong"
(The Xmas tree at my college put the big xmas decorations at the top and the smaller ones in the bottom, the tree looked terrible). |
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02-18-2015, 08:17 PM
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#8 |
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☆ the stars are aligned ☆
How Do You Identify?:
one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: nor cal
Posts: 2,910
Thanks: 3,644
Thanked 9,362 Times in 2,296 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
"Oh snaps!", "Seriously?", "That's ridonkulous!" are heard very, very often in this household.
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02-18-2015, 11:28 PM
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#9 |
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Pixie Stick
How Do You Identify?:
The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Happily taken. 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Northampton, MA
Posts: 11,293
Thanks: 31,723
Thanked 31,820 Times in 6,109 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
"I loved it when you punched me in the head. That was AWESOME!"
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03-27-2015, 09:36 PM
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#10 |
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☆ the stars are aligned ☆
How Do You Identify?:
one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: nor cal
Posts: 2,910
Thanks: 3,644
Thanked 9,362 Times in 2,296 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
"Oooh... You turned my butt on!"
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01-15-2014, 09:00 PM
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#11 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
shit heard on the phone...
What they said: Ouch! Hold on a minute. .......I didn't think I could hurt myself in bed but I just did. Now I have a hole in my fuzzy PJs.
What I said: That's what you get for being distracted.
__________________
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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01-16-2014, 03:43 PM
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#12 | |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft butch Preferred Pronoun?:
whatever.. Relationship Status:
SINGLE 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 226
Thanks: 1,215
Thanked 727 Times in 205 Posts
Rep Power: 3291561 |
Quote:
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01-19-2014, 11:12 AM
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#13 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Mature Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Her/She Relationship Status:
I heart Rene 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: California
Posts: 3,755
Thanks: 15,427
Thanked 14,918 Times in 3,020 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
I won't say who the other party was but I will say this is only a two person household.
Me, seeing two bottles for a liquid medication on the counter: "Why are there two Xs out?" Other person: "One bottle is empty." Me: "Why didn't you throw the empty one away?" Other person: "I didn't know how empty it was." Me: 
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I am very spoiled! What we think about and thank about, we bring about! Today I will treat my body with love and respect.
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02-08-2014, 01:01 PM
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#14 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
early this morning ...
Blade: (on phone with his mom) ok mom...let us know if you need anything.talk to you later....
Me: Are you gonna take a shower with me? Blade: cracking up laughing ..."I hope mom hung up the phone and didn't hear that!" Me: I was talking to Skippy, not you but that is funny!!
__________________
****************************
She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kenna For This Useful Post: |
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02-19-2014, 12:56 AM
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#15 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
I can't say pick the peanut butter our your ears because this happened via text
Me: ......nibble your shoulders.....
Them: you'd be surprised how fast (*edited to protect my innocence*) land on the floor as your nipples are on my shoulder..... Me: ummmmm honey...I didn't say nipples! 
__________________
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ Last edited by Kenna; 02-19-2014 at 12:58 AM. Reason: damn tablet auto correcting things I cant fix now |
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02-19-2014, 06:01 AM
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#16 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
my sister...at 5:30am...(while I'm sound asleep in "the front room" of open floor plan)
(HUGE crash in kitchen...sis yells AHH SHIT!! SHIT SHIT!!!)
me: What's wrong?!?! Can I help?!?! (Knowing she's trying to leave for 1.5 hour commute) Her: no...dammit...SHIT a little time passes, she steps to front door and announces "You ever have that moment when you're trying to shake a shaker jar but the lid isn't screwed on?? When she said that, I totally expected to see strawberry protein shake all over her military uniform!! Now I'm wondering if I shouldn't go to kitchen to make sure she got it all, instead of leaving it for mom to clean (like she does everything else) ...if she did...I'm gonna quietly sneak over to sleep on her neighbor's couch before all hell breaks lose.
__________________
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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02-20-2014, 12:29 AM
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#17 | |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Quote:
Just as I slip into my bubble bath....I hear mom scream like she'd seen a snake...then cuss up a storm and say WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PINK GOOEY SHIT ALL OVER MY GAS BURNERS AND RANGE HOOD!!!? HOLY HELL...SHE EVEN GOT IT IN THE PILOT LIGHT!! IT LOOKS LIKE A PINK TELLA-TUBBY EXPLODED IN A PRESSURE COOKER!!! I giggle to myself (I had actually dozed back off this morning and forgot all about it) ...slipped further down in my bubbles with big smile...and thought "good thing I WON'T be here when my sister gets home....mom will accuse her of torturing tella-tubbies!
__________________
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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05-21-2014, 09:27 PM
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#18 |
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Pixie Stick
How Do You Identify?:
The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?:
She. Relationship Status:
Happily taken.
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Northampton, MA
Posts: 11,293
Thanks: 31,723
Thanked 31,820 Times in 6,109 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
"My beard may smell like pussy, but at least my foot doesn't smell like butt crack!"
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04-17-2015, 08:21 PM
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#19 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
from a local buddy who was repairing the porch light
As he was describing his spine surgery gone wrong...
"They chipped a bone and had to wheel me into the MRI to find it. But they couldn't find it and left it in there!! Later I told my doc that my BALLS GO NUMB!!!...doc said that chip is pinching the nerve but he won't remove it. So I told him my wife is fixed and I don't want kids so CUT MY BALLS OFF! I heard Duke [medical college] will give $800 per ball so cut them off and send them to Duke! I don't need them!!... I need the money and it's better than going numb! ... Then his doctor said (thru a thick accent)..'dat won't help. It be like cutting off arm...will feel phantom pain"... Shit heard 'round this house!!
__________________
****************************
She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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05-02-2015, 10:29 PM
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#20 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
All in the course of one day.....
A chihuahua fart!! (We all laughed till we cried!!) Me: Skippy!! You rotten little fart! I didn't squeeze you that hard!! Skippy's Daddy: sounded like you squeezed the shit outa him!! (OMG!! MORE LAUGHTER AND TEARS) *******************later.... Friend 1 about buddy 2: Look...I think hy wants a threesome!! Friend 3: (looking at buddy 2 with a cocky grin) I only do two and you ain't one of the two. ********************* Them: Get that thang off my foot! Me: What thang! Them: THAT thang! Me: it's just a string on your pants. Them: NOT THAT THANG! THE OTHER THANG! Me: there's noTHANG on your foot! Them: look there.... Me: oh? That tiny little thang? *chuckles* give me the flashlight, who gave you warts on your foot? Them: I was born with it...maybe when I was a little boy I stepped on frog poop? Me: (cracked up laughing) ************** While watching a very descriptive commercial for treatment (Osphena) of post menopausal dryness ..... Friend 1: OH MY GOD...at dinnertime they play commercials about Viagra...then at night they play this before little kids go to bed? Friend 2: .....(looked at Friend 1 with a cocky grin then looked at the TV and declared....) Ohhh baby! If you were with me, you wouldn't have that problem... GLIDE INNNN....glide out... Friend 1: YOU ARE SOOOOO BAD!! Friend 2: Well? My woman wouldn't need lube... Friend 1: *rolling eyes and laughing * LOOK!! *pointing at Buddy 3* Hy just winked at me!! ***************** Them:  Me: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!! YOU'RE GROSS!! THANK GOD YOU ROLLED OVER TO FACE ME BEFORE YOU DID THAT!! Them: (laughing hard) What did you think of that? Me: it sounded like your ass cheeks flapped together!! Them: HAHA...Told you I'm all boy!! Me: I've known that forever but daymmmm you!! Me: looked over at Buddy 3...are you ok?? Buddy 3: winked at me then hid hys face under the pillow
__________________
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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