Changing last names

[Cin]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Correlation is not causation. I AM NOT saying that a woman who takes her partner's name outside of a BDSM context is by definition signaling her submissive position in the relationship. I AM saying that a woman in relationship with a masculine or male partner who takes their partner's name reflexively, without processing that choice, and without having a conscious reason for doing so, is -willingly or not- participating in the overwhelming dynamic in our culture of presumed masculine dominance and feminine submission.

I'm deeply troubled when straight women presume without questioning that they'll take their husband's name, and even more deeply troubled by entitled men who assume that this is their right, because this is how it's always been. If a femme wants to take her butch partner's name that's her business and her decision to make. I just hope that women- straight, queer, femme or otherwise- would think those choices all the way through before making them.

It's the reflexive presumption part that makes me cranky.

And I believe masculine identified people should also take the time to examine and process these kinds of things as well.