Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships

[Rockinonahigh]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Rockin' I am so glad that neither you or your mom were seriously hurt, or with permanent physical injuries. I can't imagine the emotional cost of the experience for either of you.

There is the peculiar phenomenon of some parents/family not believing the abused woman, or even worse, continuing to have a relationship with the abuser; after we, the abused, finally get out from the physical, verbal or emotional abuse.

My parents just refused to believe that the polite, handsome young man who was my husband, would ever hit me. On one hand, there was the refusal to support me emotionally, in any way and on the other, they would even invite him over for dinner or parties but not me.

That was one of the hardest things to take.

My father would say to me: "You are pretty mouthy and probably talked back to him, we had the same problem with you".

The final, painful, but very clear message message was:

He didn't think my ex was an abuser but... if he did: I probably deserved it.

What surprises me is that mom just wouldn't press charges at first,she had always been one of the most possitive women I knew,for he to just say "let it be" was so off the wall I was taken by surprise.One of my aunts said in it was common for men to rule over women in her generation that it was a common for this to happen in families for this to happen,I never could understand it.
My X should have known better to have started on me with his crap knowing I would not just take it then walk away,come to find out his father did the same thing to his wife and kids.What I just don't get was they thought the guy hung the moon no matter what he did.I told my X very early on if he ever laid a hand on me in anger he was a dead man cause I would fight him till my last breath,I don't start fights but if people insist in this I sure will finish it defending myself.Another thing I know is it has only been somewhat recent that a woman could defend her self against abuse or end up killing someone in self defence with out ending up in jail,i'm glad things are difrent now.