Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[imperfect_cupcake]

I do share Ulis feelings about that word. I know lots of femmes like to "play the lady" to some knight of a butch in a fairy tale world they like to play. That is all well and good. But in many many real world places, the term lady, still pertains to it's class origins.

It's a *Title* of ownership of lands and aristocracy.

I just lived in a place that still has that title. And I know a lot of Americans think it's a quaint and shit to have a queen and barons and princesses but as someone who is NOT a royalist and would like the queens head off my money I would like to remind people that the term "Lady" is a term of privilege and class restriction. And often used as a word of shaming, even here. As in "someone who does not behave like a Lady" to shame someone for their "lack of class"

What do people really think that phrase really means, exactly? "Lack of Class" where exactly does everyone think it comes from?
It means you are common. As in not privileged and land owning.

This is very real stuff. Not just a past thing. It still goes on and I see it here and in many places where people think femmes should act like "Ladies" and butches their keep of their "honour"
Really? Do people have no honest idea that what they are playing at may be a lovely fairy game between two people in a novel fantasy, which is fabulous, but the word, in actual functioning in the real world outside of that, isn't very nice.

When butches are referred to as ladies I suspect it's not just the gender of the term that chafes to but the behaviour it also implies.

I chafe at it. I don't like it. I was never fond of it and the being constantly told to act like one, to not swear or be vulgar, cause that's not lady like. And if you aren't lady like then you have no class (privilege, back again) and don't deserve any respect.

It's a completely loaded term.

Utterly. And it often hold my tongue when it gets bandied about like it means nothing but something light and fluffy and playing princess. It pisses me off at times but I know 90% of people reading my words here won't get it or don't want to so I generally don't bother.

But Uli did not call anyone names or tell people they were worthless... She expressed her political distain at a WORD and it's oppressive use. Not a person. she may have not phrased it in a very careful way as best to avoid offending anyone's feelings, but I'm guessing that expressing a hatred of a word for good reason, people are not so incredibly delicate that expressing hatred of a word for it's political implications won't cause people to wail and bleed under their beds.