Pronouns

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by MissGentleman

Does it offend you when someone calls you by your former or an unwanted pronoun?

It doesn't really offend me if I get called "him", but it does seem a bit strange. I'm much more comfortable with "her" and other female pronouns. I still have a bit of trouble remembering that my MTF friend, who started transitioning at the time I met her, is a "she", whereas my other friend who came out as FTM after I'd known him for a bit, is pretty easy to remember.

So to answer my question, how do you react to when someone calls you by a different pronoun than you prefer? Do you acknowledge that sometimes someone can make a mistake, especially in the early days?

I wouldn't be offended if it happened with someone who has not yet had enough time with me since transitioning......someone learning to be with me as I am now versus how they knew me before. I get that for some it could be more of a "habit" thing and not that they don't *truly* see me.

I think, too, if we lower the wall some and really look at what is happening with the person, we might be less inclined to get offended and act in a defensive manner. There really are a whole lot of people out there who mean no harm.

Experience has shown me that the folks who f*ck with you via pronouns are few and far between. The rest of them, in my opinion, are really doing the best they can with a situation that is very foreign to them.