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#301 |
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femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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What makes it funnier, is if you knew Bully, in real life, you could totally see this happening.
And. It did. LOL
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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#302 |
Member
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she Join Date: Sep 2011
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right, understood lol.
i can see and hear a southern person doing what you did LOL. and it's turnip greens season, ... you've heard folks talking about turnips or you've ate them. i've ate them. very funny, indeed. you need to re tell that forever. |
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#303 |
Senior Member
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guy ones Relationship Status:
... Join Date: May 2011
Location: chillin' in FL
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my babe putting out halloween candy:
- There's the candy in case kids show up. Me: - What? It's not Halloween. Her: - They usually do it on the weekends. Me: - Ok. Halloween is Wednesday, but It's good to know in case I hear knocking on the door and wonder what the hell is going on. ![]() |
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#304 |
Member
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trans Preferred Pronoun?:
He preferredably :) Relationship Status:
the pitbull <€ Join Date: Dec 2009
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My wife : honey everyday is like Christmas for me bc I ask and you just get it for me .
Me : baby if everyday is like Christmas then how come I still don't have my new remington hunting rifle or my jeep Willy ????? My wife : well daddy maybe everyday for you is Halloween bc I do keep you stocked with candy and make you treats a lot . Me : honey , I'd trade Halloween for Christmas then ![]() My wife : isn't the browns playing today ? Me : way to change the subject honey Shakes head .... |
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#305 |
Infamous Member
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cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?:
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No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time…
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Teddy and I were discussing out ancestries....
Me: You gotta admit...the Irish are a happy bunch. We have a great sense of humor. Teddy: Yeah, but that's because they're always drinking! ahem...... ![]() |
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#306 |
Senior Member
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single Join Date: Jun 2010
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cinn and i have many of these funny conversations
last nite while going to pick up her eldest child ..... cinn...i think god has a plan for cause i have missed dying several times in my life time me... yes me too. i have cheated death several times in the last cpl yrs alone at least 3 times within the last 10 yrs. i started listing them cancer, just this past sept, and i kept listing them at the same time cinn and i said were married to a crazy woman who tried at times wanted to kill me we both started laughing hystericaly |
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#307 |
Junior Member
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female Join Date: Oct 2012
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Saturday my phone mysteriously shut down and froze.
Hours later it decided to mysteriously work. I listened to a message from my son: "Mom, your phone is fucked. Call me" ![]() ![]() |
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#308 |
☆ the stars are aligned ☆
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she/her Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: nor cal
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*Phoebe comes racing over and scoots her butt across the carpet.. I look at her, slightly horrified, and then smell poop*
Me: Uh, she just scooted her ass across the carpet.. EW! I think.. Abby: I smell poop. Bard: Yeah, she did right by the door. Me: Ewwww. Bard: Maybe she had a cling-on from Uranus. Me: OMG.. Abby: *..takes a minute then starts laughing* From Uranus! Your anus! And it comes from your anus! Me: Oh my god, this is going into the overheard thread... |
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#309 |
Practically Lives Here
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dee Relationship Status:
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Gemme in the lingerie thread
"i like it without the pants" |
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#310 |
Member
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she, her, grrl, piranha, monkey Relationship Status:
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Me: They aren't perfect!
Jess: it's a bakesale, they are supposed to look home made. Me: No! We are queers - the cookies are supposed to be perfect.
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------------------------------------ ~pink ![]() "I‘m heir to madness. Vessel of perversion. Your nightmare should you cross me." ((Want to read about my life in Hawaii and my ongoing war against the roosters and my pony size dog and my wedding?)) http://www.alohafemme.wordpress.com/ |
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#311 |
Member
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girl ones Join Date: Mar 2010
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yesterday at work, I took refuge in my friend's office, where I am advised one of the saddest things I've ever heard:
me (tears): okay .. so I am having a slight emotional thing. I'm going to sit here with my back to the window, you just ignore the tears and look like you're talking to me. (waterworks wide open) him: uh.. fidget fidget *talking nonsense just to look like he's talking to me* (he was quite the trooper for about 10 minutes) me (finally): okay (voice still a lil catchy) I think the involuntary tears are done (we laugh a lil bit at my comment) he wants to know what the he££ is up, so I tell him.. blaa, blaa, blaa..at the end I say; me: lord. it's been a good minute since I've shed tears like this.. him: (he looks really hard at me for a second): Kimmy, it's b/c you still have 'hope'.. that little bit of hope that someone's not going to let you down.. you're just not jaded enough. me: stupid hope. *deep, teary sigh*
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#312 |
Practically Lives Here
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me: " gonna grab a little cereal"
Syr" "don't trip over my gun" ![]() |
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#313 |
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We are trying to leave the house but I'm still gathering up the gimcracks I need...
Hym: Wallet? Keys? Phone? Me: Oh poo. My phone. I don't know where it is. Hym: Bathroom? Kitchen? Other coat? Me: I have no idea. Could you please call it? Hym: Um. *reaches for hys phone, and I continue to gather my shinies* Hym: You know, when I was at Dollarama the other day, I noticed they sold condoms. Me: *aghast* Wow. I'd trust that like I'd trust a balloon with a nail in it. Did you see any cool toys? What about those spatulas I like? Spatulae? Ugh. *flustered* Hym: *opens the door as I wander out* There. Distracted you out the door. |
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#314 |
Member
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#315 |
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Hym: If we're consolidating our households in the new year, I'm afraid I'll need TV.
Me: I have a TV. Hym: No, baby... a cable subscription. Me: I have never paid for cable in my life. Hym: You get it for free? *smiles* Me: No, dumbass, you know I don't do TV. Hym: Well, I'll pay for it. What am I going to do when you're out with your friends? Sit around and read or knit or something? Me: *dumbfounded* That's... what I do... generally... so... Hym: ... Me: ... Hym: *winning smile* TV? |
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#316 |
Member
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that grrl Preferred Pronoun?:
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While getting ready to go swimming.....
*spaying myself* J: what's that? Bug spray? Me: yes come here.. *spray spray spray* J: wtf it tastes awful - what is that shit really? *looks at bottle* J: Jesus God honey its sunscreen! SPF 70? Why don't you just wear a coat! Me: the pool people frown on me wearing a coat - I tried. J: Of course you did....
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------------------------------------ ~pink ![]() "I‘m heir to madness. Vessel of perversion. Your nightmare should you cross me." ((Want to read about my life in Hawaii and my ongoing war against the roosters and my pony size dog and my wedding?)) http://www.alohafemme.wordpress.com/ |
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#317 |
Infamous Member
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femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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Belle and Bella busting into the bedroom and jumping on the bed where Bully is sleeping.
Belle: GOOD MORNING BABY. We tried really hard not to wake you up this morning. We waited and waited and couldn't stand it anymore cause we missed you so much!!! Bully: (grumbling) Belle: It's a beautiful day!!!! We've been playing with toys and been outside a few times!!! Coffee's on!!! Bully: (grumbling a little more, but laughing) Belle *looking at the sunlight coming through the window and shining in Bully's eyes. How can you stand that sunlight coming through the window in your face every morning? Bully: Ummm, well, that's the least of my worries. ![]()
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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#318 |
Senior Member
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Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009
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Mia and I reading about Cinderella.
Me: "And the stepsisters were so mean to Cinderella and tore up her pretty dress" Mia: ::::some baby talk first then ::: "be nice and share" Me: "Thats right honey! |
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#319 |
Infamous Member
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femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
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Just minutes after waking up, Bully and Belle in the kitchen talking.
Bully: Oh i think i want cinnamon toast. Belle: I think we are out of cinnamon, but we have thyme. Bully: Thyme doesn't go with toast. Belle: Oh sure it does. Don't you remember the song "Thyme in a bottle"? Bread wrote that. Bully: Honey your mouth is still asleep, you need coffee. Besides it was Jim Croce.
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~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
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#320 |
☆ the stars are aligned ☆
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one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: nor cal
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It's too cold to stand around naked eating breakfast.. I knew I should of waited to take my clothes off!
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