Test: what does your attitude about money say about you?

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Shystonefem

This is a good test to give to a prospective lover... at least you know what you are getting into. LMAO

Hmnnnnn. I dunno.
I am extremely careful with my money and im not into "stuff." I am incredible at running a house and feeding people on next to nothing. I've had to learn it.
When I do splurg, it's minor and for others. Keep in mind I consider a slurpee "splurging".
I've never had savings. I've never made enough to have savings. Doesn't mean I'm irresponsible with money - I'm incredibly good with it. It means I've lived hand to mouth for most of my life because I wanted to explore the globe more than I wanted security.

It's an interesting test though!

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by Shystonefem

This is a good test to give to a prospective lover... at least you know what you are getting into. LMAO

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Hmnnnnn. I dunno.
I am extremely careful with my money and im not into "stuff." I am incredible at running a house and feeding people on next to nothing. I've had to learn it.
When I do splurg, it's minor and for others. Keep in mind I consider a slurpee "splurging".
I've never had savings. I've never made enough to have savings. Doesn't mean I'm irresponsible with money - I'm incredibly good with it. It means I've lived hand to mouth for most of my life because I wanted to explore the globe more than I wanted security.

It's an interesting test though!

I agree with Shystonefem, I think it is a good idea to find out of someone you are getting involved with has a similar or opposite philosophy about money and spending habits. I've seen where money problems are high on the list of friction points for couples and can create a lot of problems.

Kind of like a vegetarian and an omnivore might have more trouble finding common ground at the dinner table, an avid saver and a lavish spender might have more problems around the checkbook. It's part of getting to know someone.

This test, or something like it, would be a possible ice breaker for a subject that is hard to bring up.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Right... But if you looked at my results you'd think I "wasted" my money on gifts all the time.
I always make my bills, and the gifts I buy are very small. Usually under a tenner. I certainly can't afford to buy any for anyone the last three years but I'd like to. I just can't.

Still, the results suggest I'm frivolous.
I'm probably the most pragmatic of people. I kept a tight rein on household spending when it was sorely needed, for both me and my exwife - I got us both out of debt.

I baked her desserts instead and poured her baths.

But the desire is still there. Just not the capacity.

I've never been with someone who never spent anytjing. I'm always the one trying to get. A better deal, find it cheaper, cut corners, thin the soup. Usually I'm the one people have to have a word with to tell me to relax, stop trying to save them cash - they know their budget better than me. Lol if I get taken out for dinner, and someone else is paying, I'll pick the cheapest item on the menu.

But I'm tagged with generous indulger becauae of my wishes, not my reality.

So perhaps good for a discussion... Maybe not so good for an absolute!

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Right... But if you looked at my results you'd think I "wasted" my money on gifts all the time.
I always make my bills, and the gifts I buy are very small. Usually under a tenner. I certainly can't afford to buy any for anyone the last three years but I'd like to. I just can't.

Still, the results suggest I'm frivolous.
I'm probably the most pragmatic of people. I kept a tight rein on household spending when it was sorely needed, for both me and my exwife - I got us both out of debt.

I baked her desserts instead and poured her baths.

But the desire is still there. Just not the capacity.

I've never been with someone who never spent anytjing. I'm always the one trying to get. A better deal, find it cheaper, cut corners, thin the soup. Usually I'm the one people have to have a word with to tell me to relax, stop trying to save them cash - they know their budget better than me. Lol if I get taken out for dinner, and someone else is paying, I'll pick the cheapest item on the menu.

But I'm tagged with generous indulger becauae of my wishes, not my reality.

So perhaps good for a discussion... Maybe not so good for an absolute!

I wasn't meaning that a magazine quiz would be an end point for a financial discussion, just that something is usually needed as an introduction to the topic. People in western culture tend to have a lot of anxiety around talking about it in anything more than an abstract.

It makes people uncomfortable and frequently defensive, it's one of those hot button topics. Your response is a perfect example. (Not to be personal, you just gave a good sample) the thread was a light game/quiz but as soon as personal examples were used, you seemed to express defensiveness or at least a desire to clarify (correct me if I'm mistaken). Most people, I'm referring to North America, attach judgement to whatever their relative standing to money is, especially when one gets near either extreme end of the spectrum. The closer a person is to 'average' the more comfortable people are around them and the less judgement is attached. We live in a consumer based economy and are barraged with 'good enough' messages tied to financial consumption all day long. It's not that different from things like sex and appearance based judgments but seems to have even stronger taboo signals tied to it.

It's an interesting topic even in the abstract but I do think it's important to have those discussions when getting to know a person in a more intimate way if it looks like it may go in the direction of a relationship. It just seems harder to bring up than other subjects.

[Electrocell]

Most of us have probably been out in this world on our own long enough to realize we can try and plan ahead as much as we want, it don't always work out the way we plan. Just when you think you have a little nest egg built up something breaks down and needs repair or needs to be replaced. Unless you are like a millionaire or billionaire you will have money struggles in your life .Especially if you are always living above your means. It's good for the soul to splurge once in awhile imho lol.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Kept: I wasn't meaning that a magazine quiz would be an end point for a financial discussion, just that something is usually needed as an introduction to the topic. People in western culture tend to have a lot of anxiety around talking about it in anything more than an abstract.

(Kelt, you are clarifying/being defensive here... *very playful cheek*)

Kelt: It makes people uncomfortable and frequently defensive, it's one of those hot button topics. Your response is a perfect example. (Not to be personal, you just gave a good sample) the thread was a light game/quiz but as soon as personal examples were used, you seemed to express defensiveness or at least a desire to clarify (correct me if I'm mistaken). Most people, I'm referring to North America, attach judgement to whatever their relative standing to money is, especially when one gets near either extreme end of the spectrum. The closer a person is to 'average' the more comfortable people are around them and the less judgement is attached. We live in a consumer based economy and are barraged with 'good enough' messages tied to financial consumption all day long. It's not that different from things like sex and appearance based judgments but seems to have even stronger taboo signals tied to it.

It's an interesting topic even in the abstract but I do think it's important to have those discussions when getting to know a person in a more intimate way if it looks like it may go in the direction of a relationship. It just seems harder to bring up than other subjects.


Barb:

Yes. It was to Clarify. But I will clarify the minutia uses of a peanut given half a chance. I like discourse.

Now I'm clarifying about my clarifying.

I'm used to forums where the is page after page of clarification and deeper and deeper discourse. Personally, I don't see this as defensiveness. I think it's a great attribute and something I look for in a partner - the ability to discuss, argue, debate and dismantle for hours on end. I find it pleasurable and fun

And yes, to many people it's a no touch topic.

Me being a wordy bitch I personally think it's a great subject.

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

Kept: I wasn't meaning that a magazine quiz would be an end point for a financial discussion, just that something is usually needed as an introduction to the topic. People in western culture tend to have a lot of anxiety around talking about it in anything more than an abstract.

(Kelt, you are clarifying/being defensive here... *very playful cheek*)

>snip<

Barb:

Yes. It was to Clarify. But I will clarify the minutia uses of a peanut given half a chance. I like discourse.

Now I'm clarifying about my clarifying.

I'm used to forums where the is page after page of clarification and deeper and deeper discourse. Personally, I don't see this as defensiveness. I think it's a great attribute and something I look for in a partner - the ability to discuss, argue, debate and dismantle for hours on end. I find it pleasurable and fun

And yes, to many people it's a no touch topic.

Me being a wordy bitch I personally think it's a great subject.

Touché <<<

Perhaps I should have made myself more clear.....

But you know the rest.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Kelt

I agree with Shystonefem, I think it is a good idea to find out of someone you are getting involved with has a similar or opposite philosophy about money and spending habits. I've seen where money problems are high on the list of friction points for couples and can create a lot of problems.

Hell yeah, first date discussion (not really, but I probably do "poke around" during the first handle of dates to see how people relate to and think about their money).

I would never date someone who wasn't open to having a retirement plan in place. I don't want to work forever (to cover your lack of planning), sorry.

[imperfect_cupcake]

This is one of the reasons I won't live with someone again. I've lived with three partners. One when I was bisexual and with my best friend and partner, a bloke. He was great to live with. We had our own bedrooms, we had our own bank accounts, paid our own bills, he did his share of the housework (urban living, no yard. I mean cleaning, laundry etc).
He never pushed me to do "women's jobs" because I would have thrown him off a bridge for it and he didn't want "a little woman to look after him." He wanted what we had. A partnership where things were done according to skill and desire. I was better at fixing the car than he was. He was good at playing guitar to me while I was in the tub.
My dad was the same. He was good at science and maths and baking. He also did the laundry, and split up the house chores on a rota between everyone that lived in the house.
The bills were all paid equally, into a kittie.

I never had the money issue, housework issue until I went dyketastic. Suddenly, a whole bunch of gender roles I never learned with money and housework were thrown at me.
And I have been told that "doing house work is upsetting to me because of the gender thing. I feel like I'm being feminized because my family..."
Wow. That sucks. I'm princess gender. I hear you. My gender requires I sit on the couch and eat cake while you vacume. I feel your pain."

Same thing goes for money. But I find its bent against me - since I'm the nurturer and carer, it's also up to me to pay the bills and do all the admin stuff.

So, I just make it really simple: im 46. We aren't raising kids together. Nor am I going to raise dogs with you. You can support yourself. I can support myself. It's going to stay that way. You be my fantastic, amazing best ever fabulous guest when you stay at mine, I'll be your fantastic, amazing, best ever, fabulous guest when I stay at yours.

That way the domestic responsibility is clear (your house, your responsibility; my little urban apartment, my responsibility) and I can avoid all the nonsense I've put up with with money etc.

[Orema]

I scored Generous Indulger with Lower Risk of Money Troubles.

I'm good at saving money, but I love spending it on myself and others. Anything that's not saved is spent without guilty feelings.

Good survey, imperfect_cupcake.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Orema

I scored Generous Indulger with Lower Risk of Money Troubles.

I'm good at saving money, but I love spending it on myself and others. Anything that's not saved is spent without guilty feelings.

Good survey, imperfect_cupcake.

I got the same thing. Indulger, low risk. I just don't spend what I don't have.
Thanks!

[Orema]

Originally Posted by Orema

I scored Generous Indulger with Lower Risk of Money Troubles.

I'm good at saving money, but I love spending it on myself and others. Anything that's not saved is spent without guilty feelings.

Good survey, imperfect_cupcake.

This time I scored Generous Indulger with Moderate Risk of Money Troubles. The differences are: my income is lower because I retired since I last took the test and I'm spending more money when I'm anxious or worried, but that's just a temporary thing.

[homoe]

~~

Generous indulger & Moderate risk of money troubles.

[Deborah*]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hell yeah, first date discussion (not really, but I probably do "poke around" during the first handle of dates to see how people relate to and think about their money).

I would never date someone who wasn't open to having a retirement plan in place. I don't want to work forever (to cover your lack of planning), sorry.

I really agree with you. One of my mentors, when he was thinking of dating this woman asked her financial questions (to make sure they were on the same page financially speaking) and they were. He has around $80m now, and much of this is to his wife's working with him on finances.

I also came from a fortunate background, and would be most comfortable with someone from my own background.. more in common, more in synch, same financial beliefs, values, etc.

Deborah