What will happen when you die? - Page 2

Virago · 03-31-2013, 10:12 AM

Ciaran
Amazing thread. Thank you.

This isn't a new thought process for me. I lost my parents and grandparents when I was 22, back in '80. Also, as a NY actor I lost so many of my closest friends to AIDS at that time so I have thought on this a lot.

But I am also luckier than many, as my father worked in a law firm that specialized in Estate Law so this topic was desensitized to me and made a part of life. I was also lucky that I had wonderful parents and grandparents in those 22 years.

I am single now, so I am not worried about a fluid transition of my funds to a partner, but I hope those of you who are reliant on your spouse's income along with yours, or who have children, look into different things.

My father had it set up this way (and these laws differ from state to state so please have a specialist help you)
First I'll tell you what he did for my brother and myself. We weren't rich -middle class living paycheck to paycheck, but he had insurance policies and we had a house and knew with his and my mother's illnesses (they died 2 months apart) that my brother and I would be lost in the years that followed. He also knew that people in grief blow through money stupidly. He made a stipulation that all inheritance go into a trust fund for 7 years. At that time interest was 7% so we had personal choice as to take the interest as income or let it roll. I, at 22 an out of work actor needed to take it BUT LET ME SAY THIS -and I think this is important. It wasn't enough for me to live on and waste away. I still needed to work and thus focus, not drink or toke or snort it all away. My brother at 25 with a full time job rolled it and eventually bought a house. At the end of 7 years we got the principle. And although 7 years wasn't enough time to finish grieving, it gave us time to think about what to do with the money more clearly. You can pick a caring and trusted friend or family member to oversee the trust.

I can't remember how he had his funds set up so we were never money locked. I believe it was all in his name in trust for my mother, or maybe it was a joint account. I know all of our accounts were always in our names intrust for another in the family so nothing was ever fully locked. As soon as he passed away, all my mother's accounts had my brother's name on it with hers

I hope this helps some of you with families

Virago · 03-31-2013, 10:15 AM

and I LOVE the idea of the ashes becoming a tree. My brother and I have plots with our parents back in New York, on the border of Brooklyn and Queens. We have been talking about letting those plots go since I've been in California and he's been in Missouri and doing our own things. My thoughts are I would like to be cremated (I'm claustrophobic so the thought of NOT being dead in that box scares the hell out of me) and I would LOVE to be a tree!

In life I've lived as an oak and I've lived as a willow. Now I'll let the universe pick what I'll be next

s0litude · 03-31-2013, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCBUTCH

Well the cool thing I recently discovered is to have your remains incoporated into a newly planted tree sapling biodegradable urn.
I was going to be cremated but this is way better

While this is a great idea, and I'll have to look further into it, with my luck, every dog in the neighborhood will "mark" me. Not sure how I feel about that. LOL!

Seriously though, most of my family has gone. I have my dad and nephews left. I don't want to be buried. At one point, I thought about being buried on my family's property near my sister,...

But when I stopped to think about it, I really want to just be done with it when I die. I don't want to be buried, have the grass grow over me, take up space, be a painful reminder IF someone were even to come visit my grave.

I like simple; simple works for me. I've already asked my oldest nephew to handle my ashes when I pass. I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered at Lake Gaston in North Carolina where I spent much of my youth fishing and swimming.

I considered scattering them in the Atlantic ocean, preferably at Nags Head, NC-- but I'm terrified of the ocean, so that seems like a little taste of hell to me.

Tuff Stuff · 06-04-2013, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laidbackgrly

I am coming back and i am gonna haunt people

I'm with you.I think i'll linger around a bit not to scare anyone.Oh i'm going to have an horrendous death like some bomb going off in my face i'm not wishing it but I have this horrible feeling that my final moments are going to be bad.I wonder if its true that after you are dead that our spirits can wonder all over this world and perhaps other galaxies? If that's the case then i'll be looking forward to the other side.I have a Will all written out so that every one knows who gets what.They can bury me but i would like to be cremated first and my ashes buried if that makes any sense.

~baby~doll~ · 06-04-2013, 10:20 AM

i've never had the best health and so it is these thoughts have been something which crossed my mind from time to time.

i don't believe in an afterlife in any way

i have never been into the god thing. if people are this is cool and if they are correct even better but for me when i die it is for good.

the steps i have taken are to have my affairs in order. done
this even includes my cremation there will be no viewing of any kind.
it sometimes becomes real for me, last year two days before my birthday i had a serious problem and had to be revived.

my partners know i do not want to be kept alive if i do not have a reasonable chance of having a certain quality of life. i still want to be able to take time to smell the roses.

my ashes will be in the front garden and that is where i long to spend so much time. i will have my chance.

death does not scare me any longer i know someday i will be gone. it will make me angry if i die in the middle of a good read.

i try and make sure those close to me know i love them everyday this is the preparation i take still make sure happens.

tomboystud · 06-04-2013, 10:49 AM

This has been on my mind a lot lately. My room mate had a heart attack early Sun morning so I have been doing a lot of thinking. I added another person to my must be called list as they have become an important part of my life. I have most of it in order. I hadn't planned on living this long so every day is a blessing.

Tuff Stuff · 08-13-2015, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuff Stuff

I'm with you.I think i'll linger around a bit not to scare anyone.Oh i'm going to have an horrendous death like some bomb going off in my face i'm not wishing it but I have this horrible feeling that my final moments are going to be bad.I wonder if its true that after you are dead that our spirits can wonder all over this world and perhaps other galaxies? If that's the case then i'll be looking forward to the other side.I have a Will all written out so that every one knows who gets what.They can bury me but i would like to be cremated first and my ashes buried if that makes any sense.

Still feel the same..

I'm just dodging way too many bullets these days *shrugs*

At least tonight,i'll be safe in my womans arms..

06-04-2013, 10:20 AM	#25
~baby~doll~ Member How Do You Identify?: femme-bottom, lesbian, queer Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: Leather polyamorous family Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: with HER Posts: 1,110 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,494 Thanked 2,856 Times in 905 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	i've never had the best health and so it is these thoughts have been something which crossed my mind from time to time. i don't believe in an afterlife in any way i have never been into the god thing. if people are this is cool and if they are correct even better but for me when i die it is for good. the steps i have taken are to have my affairs in order. done this even includes my cremation there will be no viewing of any kind. it sometimes becomes real for me, last year two days before my birthday i had a serious problem and had to be revived. my partners know i do not want to be kept alive if i do not have a reasonable chance of having a certain quality of life. i still want to be able to take time to smell the roses. my ashes will be in the front garden and that is where i long to spend so much time. i will have my chance. death does not scare me any longer i know someday i will be gone. it will make me angry if i die in the middle of a good read. i try and make sure those close to me know i love them everyday this is the preparation i take still make sure happens. __________________ i will wait to love You. i will wait another day For You i'd leave all this behind. i will wait for you tonight. iwill waste another dream on You Always run to You. Uh Huh Her

03-31-2013, 10:12 AM	#21
Virago Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 387 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 1,122 Times in 306 Posts Rep Power: 8364711	Ciaran Amazing thread. Thank you. This isn't a new thought process for me. I lost my parents and grandparents when I was 22, back in '80. Also, as a NY actor I lost so many of my closest friends to AIDS at that time so I have thought on this a lot. But I am also luckier than many, as my father worked in a law firm that specialized in Estate Law so this topic was desensitized to me and made a part of life. I was also lucky that I had wonderful parents and grandparents in those 22 years. I am single now, so I am not worried about a fluid transition of my funds to a partner, but I hope those of you who are reliant on your spouse's income along with yours, or who have children, look into different things. My father had it set up this way (and these laws differ from state to state so please have a specialist help you) First I'll tell you what he did for my brother and myself. We weren't rich -middle class living paycheck to paycheck, but he had insurance policies and we had a house and knew with his and my mother's illnesses (they died 2 months apart) that my brother and I would be lost in the years that followed. He also knew that people in grief blow through money stupidly. He made a stipulation that all inheritance go into a trust fund for 7 years. At that time interest was 7% so we had personal choice as to take the interest as income or let it roll. I, at 22 an out of work actor needed to take it BUT LET ME SAY THIS -and I think this is important. It wasn't enough for me to live on and waste away. I still needed to work and thus focus, not drink or toke or snort it all away. My brother at 25 with a full time job rolled it and eventually bought a house. At the end of 7 years we got the principle. And although 7 years wasn't enough time to finish grieving, it gave us time to think about what to do with the money more clearly. You can pick a caring and trusted friend or family member to oversee the trust. I can't remember how he had his funds set up so we were never money locked. I believe it was all in his name in trust for my mother, or maybe it was a joint account. I know all of our accounts were always in our names intrust for another in the family so nothing was ever fully locked. As soon as he passed away, all my mother's accounts had my brother's name on it with hers I hope this helps some of you with families

03-31-2013, 10:15 AM	#22
Virago Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 387 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 1,122 Times in 306 Posts Rep Power: 8364711	and I LOVE the idea of the ashes becoming a tree. My brother and I have plots with our parents back in New York, on the border of Brooklyn and Queens. We have been talking about letting those plots go since I've been in California and he's been in Missouri and doing our own things. My thoughts are I would like to be cremated (I'm claustrophobic so the thought of NOT being dead in that box scares the hell out of me) and I would LOVE to be a tree! In life I've lived as an oak and I've lived as a willow. Now I'll let the universe pick what I'll be next

06-04-2013, 10:49 AM	#26
tomboystud Member How Do You Identify?: trans Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Happy Daddy Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 329 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 242 Thanked 851 Times in 291 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	This has been on my mind a lot lately. My room mate had a heart attack early Sun morning so I have been doing a lot of thinking. I added another person to my must be called list as they have become an important part of my life. I have most of it in order. I hadn't planned on living this long so every day is a blessing.