How about butch and butch?

DapperButch · 09-17-2015, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jane Bond

Sorry, it's a complicated topic and hard to avoid generalizations. I should have said This Butch does this and that. All better?

A bit better, but you might still get your butt chewed out by a person or two. Especially with what reads to be a patronizing apology.

I must admit I thought I would see a joke at the end of your stereotypes. I was shocked when I didn't see one. And I certainly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the bullshit about femmes holding out. Pretty damn disrespectful.

Jane Bond · 09-18-2015, 09:21 PM

rolling my eyes...

Jane Bond · 11-09-2015, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-Rex

[/B]

Hi Jane - Welcome to BFP. I am not moderating you, but just letting you know that the items I bolded were problematic because they are sexist. Not all Butches pay for everything, do all the driving, etc. Not all Femmes hate sports, or withhold sex (my personal favorite item of the whole post) I guess, the reason I came in here (as a moderator) is that even though people were gentle with you via discussion, you followed all that with a dismissive eyeroll comment.

If you want people to listen to you, it's a good idea to listen back and not roll your eyes. At least publically.

Please PM me if you have any questions.

<<<

Hi T-Rex..I try not to be sexist but sometimes I make inadvertently sexist comments, and when I do I'm often making broad, sweeping generalizations based on my personal experiences. I should have prefaced my words with "Lately, I have dated nothing but stereotypical, old-school femmes who did the following..."
The eye-roll thing was impolite and I apologize. Your advice seemed a mite presumptuous, but then I was fresh off a fling where the femme was a real piece of work and I was feeling very cranky and defensive. As I was driving her to dinner the night before, her cell rang and she actually made a date with someone right in my face. Grrr.
Thanks for the tips...

The_Lady_Snow · 11-09-2015, 04:54 PM

Who can blame her?

Jane Bond · 11-09-2015, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Who can blame her?

Your profile sums it all up.

homoe · 11-09-2015, 06:24 PM

Regardless of a situation, I find making a date with someone while out with someone else, the HEIGHT of bad manners!

fever · 11-09-2015, 06:41 PM

I see that Jane Bond has recently come to this site, and certainly has some strong opinions. But, instead of bashing her, perhaps our more senior members could guide her how to talk on this particular site. A few senior members seem to enjoy getting the pot stirred, and I am glad that Jane Bond isn't backing down.

However, JB, some femmes don't expect the Butch to pay for things all the time, like to mow the lawn ourselves, although, having help with heavy items, or light items for that matter, are always appreciated. lol As far as withholding sex, that doesn't just happen to butches. It happens in an unhealthy relationship.

Perhaps you just need to look at the types of femmes you are attracted to, and adjust that checklist.

Jane Bond · 11-21-2015, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homoe

Regardless of a situation, I find making a date with someone while out with someone else, the HEIGHT of bad manners!

No Sh*t! We had just slept together the night before and that always signals to me a rapid approaching commitment. woops.

SaltyButch · 11-22-2015, 06:11 PM

You know it's funny the things that pop up on your screen and catch your attention on any given day. So I saw this thread and my old self would have just scanned and moved on, but my new self feels the need to comment.

I have evolved as a person and moreso a gay person over the years....and anyone who knows me will tell you that I adore femmes and the energy they exude. Let me also say that I feel that everyone should love and enjoy whomever they wish with the obvious caveats attached.

I detest labels but sometimes you just need to wear one...I am a female identified butch, that is but one "label". I've noticed that at times the energy that exudes from someone just gets to me and I've been even more surprised that it's from another butch. I readily admit that this has been with online conversation and has led to some very hot and intimate discussions....so the butch/butch desire doesn't seem so taboo to me anymore. I'm not sure if I could pursue this in real time but you know I've learned never say never. Life is too short not to enjoy it and with whoever brings the joy to you.

Nat · 11-23-2015, 10:14 AM

It's funny - I'm not used to reading comments like the ones posted by Jane in this space but wow do I ever hear those comments in person, especially one-on-one. In the real world, Jane's perspective is unfortunately the norm in some places. Happily not here.

A while back, I crossed a few butches off the dating list for complaining about what femmes are like in what seemed like a cartoonish way. It feels like in the real world - at least in central Texas - people either don't know what a femme is at all or imagine we are cartoons. As I told a friend at the time though, I'm done teaching femme 101. *shrug*

As far as butch and butch goes

- if I were butch, I would be all about it.

Jane Bond · 11-25-2015, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

It's funny - I'm not used to reading comments like the ones posted by Jane in this space but wow do I ever hear those comments in person, especially one-on-one. In the real world, Jane's perspective is unfortunately the norm in some places. Happily not here.

A while back, I crossed a few butches off the dating list for complaining about what femmes are like in what seemed like a cartoonish way. It feels like in the real world - at least in central Texas - people either don't know what a femme is at all or imagine we are cartoons. As I told a friend at the time though, I'm done teaching femme 101. *shrug*

As far as butch and butch goes

- if I were butch, I would be all about it.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Wow, I feel like the donkey in a game of pin the tail on the donkey.
I have to admit, I don't have much experience with sites like this where people free-style their comments. Perhaps (hopefully) I am making all the mistakes right away so I can get past them asap. Or...maybe I am a donkey. Hmm.

11-09-2015, 04:54 PM	#4
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,076 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474875	takes 2... Who can blame her? __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

11-09-2015, 06:41 PM	#7
fever Member How Do You Identify?: stonefemme Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near Vancouver, B.C. Canada Posts: 592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,649 Thanked 1,279 Times in 357 Posts Rep Power: 17783437	Is this how we greet new people to the site? I see that Jane Bond has recently come to this site, and certainly has some strong opinions. But, instead of bashing her, perhaps our more senior members could guide her how to talk on this particular site. A few senior members seem to enjoy getting the pot stirred, and I am glad that Jane Bond isn't backing down. However, JB, some femmes don't expect the Butch to pay for things all the time, like to mow the lawn ourselves, although, having help with heavy items, or light items for that matter, are always appreciated. lol As far as withholding sex, that doesn't just happen to butches. It happens in an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps you just need to look at the types of femmes you are attracted to, and adjust that checklist.

11-23-2015, 10:14 AM	#10
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,963 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	It's funny - I'm not used to reading comments like the ones posted by Jane in this space but wow do I ever hear those comments in person, especially one-on-one. In the real world, Jane's perspective is unfortunately the norm in some places. Happily not here. A while back, I crossed a few butches off the dating list for complaining about what femmes are like in what seemed like a cartoonish way. It feels like in the real world - at least in central Texas - people either don't know what a femme is at all or imagine we are cartoons. As I told a friend at the time though, I'm done teaching femme 101. shrug As far as butch and butch goes - if I were butch, I would be all about it. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl Last edited by Nat; 11-23-2015 at 10:28 AM.

09-18-2015, 09:21 PM	#2
Jane Bond Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: I look in the mirror and it's me Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: alert Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: not here. Posts: 77 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 126 Thanked 189 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 0	rolling my eyes...

11-09-2015, 06:24 PM	#6
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,548 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	Regardless of a situation, I find making a date with someone while out with someone else, the HEIGHT of bad manners!

11-22-2015, 06:11 PM	#9
SaltyButch Member How Do You Identify?: Old School Butch Preferred Pronoun?: he/she/hey you..... Relationship Status: open to the possibilities Tournaments Won: 5 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: mississauga ontario canada Posts: 345 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 432 Thanked 1,633 Times in 301 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	You know it's funny the things that pop up on your screen and catch your attention on any given day. So I saw this thread and my old self would have just scanned and moved on, but my new self feels the need to comment. I have evolved as a person and moreso a gay person over the years....and anyone who knows me will tell you that I adore femmes and the energy they exude. Let me also say that I feel that everyone should love and enjoy whomever they wish with the obvious caveats attached. I detest labels but sometimes you just need to wear one...I am a female identified butch, that is but one "label". I've noticed that at times the energy that exudes from someone just gets to me and I've been even more surprised that it's from another butch. I readily admit that this has been with online conversation and has led to some very hot and intimate discussions....so the butch/butch desire doesn't seem so taboo to me anymore. I'm not sure if I could pursue this in real time but you know I've learned never say never. Life is too short not to enjoy it and with whoever brings the joy to you.