Femmes: what makes you feel sexy?

imperfect_cupcake · 10-23-2015, 11:39 PM

These days it's very hard to feel sexy outside of the house. Student life of no time or money to look pretty - I have to cut my own hair (and I can't cut hair), massage oil stained gender neutral worn school clothes to do practical labs and study group in, Wearing just hand me downs from my moms friends in the praries (over sized potato sack shapeless clothing in very unflattering shades of brown and grey), no time for make up, wieght gain as the study intensity picks up, working in the clinic till 10pm then getting up at 6:45 and running to school to be there at 8:15 to start all over again, study groups all weekend long...

I feel the most worn out, ugly, unsexy, unattractive I have in four years (when my exwife and I were too poor to eat properly or have any money to even take the bus to socialise). I even had a group of people make fun of the way I look on the train coming home late from clinic the other night.

So it's hard to keep any kind of bodily self esteem up. Instead I am focusing on how much good I am doing for my career, how often I help people stop being in physical pain, how incredibly competent I feel about myself that in NO WAY has ANYTHING to do with what I look like. For the first time in my life as a feminine woman, my value is finally not associated with how I look. But my skills, intelligence and capability.

And I suddenly realise just how suffocating that cage can be - being valued for sex appeal - since I'm no longer in it. Yes, I feel a loss because it's what our value is intrinsically based on: first be pretty and sexy. THEN you can be smart, capable and skilled. But when you arent pretty/sexy *first*?

You have very little social value as a feminine gal. And I FEEL that lack of social value, quite hard.

At least, this is my epiphany. And one I've been told over and over and didn't emotionally understand it till now.

So I'm trying to just be here. And absorb this lesson.

Kätzchen · 10-24-2015, 02:47 PM

When a person expresses how much pleasure they experience when involved in an intelligent conversation with me. This makes me feel entirely sexy, to be appreciated for my intelligence.

catlady · 01-03-2016, 04:42 PM

I like to play my violin or any other instruments when I feel icky. Something about playing music helps me feel connected and sexy again.

Zimmeh · 06-22-2016, 09:54 AM

Having someone respect me for being a quirky girl that likes to talk a lot about my pup and family.

Zimmeh

Gráinne · 06-22-2016, 10:02 AM

Returning to this thread:

On a purely physical sexy level, it would be taking a long swim and soaking in the hot tub. Then I like to scrub myself down and shave. Wow!

But the rest didn't change that much; taking care of my environment, solving problems, feeling in control of myself and that no matter what, I can take care of myself. Confidence is sexy.

Genesis · 06-22-2016, 10:47 AM

What a fantastic thread idea!
What brings me back to my center and makes me feel sexy....
Spending a day with my Beloved the ocean

Walking on the grass or on the sand near the coast and being present...

Pampering myself with a good book, writing, dancing, and learning

A facial will do wonders!

Taking me time to nourish all my levels: heart, mind, soul, spirit and self...

Talon · 06-22-2016, 12:22 PM

Taking a hot bath, slipping on a silky nightgown, and then sitting outside in the evening, in front of a bonfire.

Arden · 06-30-2016, 12:20 AM

walking tall in heels with head held high wearing "that" dress

noticing that a cute butch is noticing you....

l'Cie · 07-01-2016, 12:03 AM

What makes me feel sexy? Doing my hair and make-up definitely. Can't leave the house without doing that. Even if I'm just grabbing some milk and cheese at the store.

Feeling strong and awesome after a workout, knowing that my body is capable of amazing things.

My favorite perfume...really really makes me feel sexy when I'm wearing it

CherylNYC · 07-02-2016, 05:52 PM

If I'm wearing revealing outfit and high heels, and then I notice the definition in the muscles of my arms and shoulders. I feel sexy when I feel physically powerful.

Teaandroses3 · 07-03-2016, 09:41 PM

Getting my hair and nails done, wearing a new dress, and going out.

grenade · 06-22-2016, 07:35 AM

I'm bringing sexy back. (Bump)

Gemme · 06-22-2016, 08:07 AM

Right now, in this moment? I'm sweaty.

Not sticky sweaty but half evaporated sweat from a good workout sweaty. Part of it is endorphins but there's something slightly erotic about seeing a fine sheen upon my body and feeling strong and powerful from the effort I made to get there. It plays to the raw, disheveled porno sexy part of me.

TL1 · 06-22-2016, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Right now, in this moment? I'm sweaty.

Not sticky sweaty but half evaporated sweat from a good workout sweaty. Part of it is endorphins but there's something slightly erotic about seeing a fine sheen upon my body and feeling strong and powerful from the effort I made to get there. It plays to the raw, disheveled porno sexy part of me.

Yup, that's sexy

10-23-2015, 11:39 PM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	These days it's very hard to feel sexy outside of the house. Student life of no time or money to look pretty - I have to cut my own hair (and I can't cut hair), massage oil stained gender neutral worn school clothes to do practical labs and study group in, Wearing just hand me downs from my moms friends in the praries (over sized potato sack shapeless clothing in very unflattering shades of brown and grey), no time for make up, wieght gain as the study intensity picks up, working in the clinic till 10pm then getting up at 6:45 and running to school to be there at 8:15 to start all over again, study groups all weekend long... I feel the most worn out, ugly, unsexy, unattractive I have in four years (when my exwife and I were too poor to eat properly or have any money to even take the bus to socialise). I even had a group of people make fun of the way I look on the train coming home late from clinic the other night. So it's hard to keep any kind of bodily self esteem up. Instead I am focusing on how much good I am doing for my career, how often I help people stop being in physical pain, how incredibly competent I feel about myself that in NO WAY has ANYTHING to do with what I look like. For the first time in my life as a feminine woman, my value is finally not associated with how I look. But my skills, intelligence and capability. And I suddenly realise just how suffocating that cage can be - being valued for sex appeal - since I'm no longer in it. Yes, I feel a loss because it's what our value is intrinsically based on: first be pretty and sexy. THEN you can be smart, capable and skilled. But when you arent pretty/sexy first? You have very little social value as a feminine gal. And I FEEL that lack of social value, quite hard. At least, this is my epiphany. And one I've been told over and over and didn't emotionally understand it till now. So I'm trying to just be here. And absorb this lesson. Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 10-23-2015 at 11:48 PM.

10-24-2015, 02:47 PM	#2
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Relationship Status: Attached to my granddaughter & chosen friends and family.. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Enjoying life @ home ツ Posts: 16,111 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,659 Thanked 33,539 Times in 10,659 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	When a person expresses how much pleasure they experience when involved in an intelligent conversation with me. This makes me feel entirely sexy, to be appreciated for my intelligence. __________________ “If you’re ever in doubt choose yourself,” — thehannahcollective.

01-03-2016, 04:42 PM	#3
catlady Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Engaged Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: New York Posts: 79 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 85 Thanked 259 Times in 63 Posts Rep Power: 2454744	I like to play my violin or any other instruments when I feel icky. Something about playing music helps me feel connected and sexy again. __________________ My FictionPress: www.fictionpress.com/~thecrazycatlady

06-22-2016, 09:54 AM	#4
Zimmeh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: I am a human and not a possession Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Volusia County, FL Posts: 6,746 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 23,549 Thanked 13,442 Times in 4,317 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Having someone respect me for being a quirky girl that likes to talk a lot about my pup and family. Zimmeh __________________ "A loving heart is the truest wisdom" -Chinua Achebe

06-22-2016, 10:02 AM	#5
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,117 Thanked 7,388 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Returning to this thread: On a purely physical sexy level, it would be taking a long swim and soaking in the hot tub. Then I like to scrub myself down and shave. Wow! But the rest didn't change that much; taking care of my environment, solving problems, feeling in control of myself and that no matter what, I can take care of myself. Confidence is sexy. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

06-22-2016, 10:47 AM	#6
Genesis Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme on a varied spectrum/babygirl Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/hers Relationship Status: Loved ლ ⚢ Join Date: May 2013 Location: Devenir un avec l'immatérialité des étoiles... Posts: 9,439 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,606 Thanked 14,669 Times in 6,299 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Ooohh! What a fantastic thread idea! What brings me back to my center and makes me feel sexy.... Spending a day with my Beloved the ocean Walking on the grass or on the sand near the coast and being present... Pampering myself with a good book, writing, dancing, and learning A facial will do wonders! Taking me time to nourish all my levels: heart, mind, soul, spirit and self...

06-22-2016, 12:22 PM	#7
Talon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Divine Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: . Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: . Posts: 4,921 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,246 Thanked 10,223 Times in 3,305 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Taking a hot bath, slipping on a silky nightgown, and then sitting outside in the evening, in front of a bonfire.

06-30-2016, 12:20 AM	#8
Arden Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Female, femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: "and if you help me to start again, you know that I'll be there for you in the end. " Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: Oregon Posts: 40 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 165 Thanked 179 Times in 37 Posts Rep Power: 1288502	walking tall in heels with head held high wearing "that" dress noticing that a cute butch is noticing you.... __________________ “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

07-01-2016, 12:03 AM	#9
l'Cie Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: South Africa Posts: 10 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11 Thanked 37 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 429507	What makes me feel sexy? Doing my hair and make-up definitely. Can't leave the house without doing that. Even if I'm just grabbing some milk and cheese at the store. Feeling strong and awesome after a workout, knowing that my body is capable of amazing things. My favorite perfume...really really makes me feel sexy when I'm wearing it

07-02-2016, 05:52 PM	#10
CherylNYC Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: I'm a woman. Behave accordingly. Relationship Status: Single, not looking. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 1,467 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,474 Thanked 7,111 Times in 1,205 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	If I'm wearing revealing outfit and high heels, and then I notice the definition in the muscles of my arms and shoulders. I feel sexy when I feel physically powerful. __________________ Cheryl

07-03-2016, 09:41 PM	#11
Teaandroses3 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Ms Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: Alabama Posts: 5 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1 Thanked 27 Times in 5 Posts Rep Power: 0	Getting my hair and nails done, wearing a new dress, and going out.

06-22-2016, 07:35 AM	#12
grenade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Full Flavor Femme Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,929 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,925 Thanked 8,058 Times in 2,121 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm bringing sexy back. (Bump)

06-22-2016, 08:07 AM	#13
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,932 Times in 25,667 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	Right now, in this moment? I'm sweaty. Not sticky sweaty but half evaporated sweat from a good workout sweaty. Part of it is endorphins but there's something slightly erotic about seeing a fine sheen upon my body and feeling strong and powerful from the effort I made to get there. It plays to the raw, disheveled porno sexy part of me. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.