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Old 11-27-2015, 08:12 PM   #1
VintageFemme
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Lately it seems those that I'm dating and/or meeting are looking more for a girl friend than a girlfriend. It seems they are more interested in hanging out and having someone to talk to, etc. And while that's all fine and well, it's absolutely not what I need in a relationship. Maybe it's my age group. I dunno. I so hope not. I need a good old fashioned butch/femme full on relationship that includes passion and excitement as well as companionship and comfort. Goddess, I hope I'm just in some kind of bad juju place and this is not the way it is or is going to be in my future. I couldn't bear that.

As for 'the list' - someone who is...
  • creative
  • independent
  • sexual
  • extremely witty
  • charming/old fashioned
  • grounded with spontaneous tendencies
I need a lot of attention when I need it and then a lot of space when I need that too. I'm so freaking hard to handle, it's insane so I need a lot of patience and sticktoitnivness. Yeah, that's what I need in a relationship, sticktoitniveness.
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Old 11-28-2015, 03:33 AM   #2
imperfect_cupcake
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Originally Posted by VintageFemme View Post
Lately it seems those that I'm dating and/or meeting are looking more for a girl friend than a girlfriend. It seems they are more interested in hanging out and having someone to talk to, etc. And while that's all fine and well, it's absolutely not what I need in a relationship. Maybe it's my age group. I dunno. I so hope not. I need a good old fashioned butch/femme full on relationship that includes passion and excitement as well as companionship and comfort. Goddess, I hope I'm just in some kind of bad juju place and this is not the way it is or is going to be in my future. I couldn't bear that.

As for 'the list' - someone who is...
  • creative
  • independent
  • sexual
  • extremely witty
  • charming/old fashioned
  • grounded with spontaneous tendencies
I need a lot of attention when I need it and then a lot of space when I need that too. I'm so freaking hard to handle, it's insane so I need a lot of patience and sticktoitnivness. Yeah, that's what I need in a relationship, sticktoitniveness.
Vintage, we may want completely different things but I often feel like I am the only person in butch-femme land who wants what I do. Mostly I get people who want what I feel are rigid formulaic formal and stiff awkward (for me) dates that don't feel that treat me like an individual girl. Just a cut out gender representative to shovel fill in the blank formula romance on. And I feel invisible and sad rather than romanced.

It feel pretty much like I'm the only one that feels this way too.

I think it's a human condition to feel that way.
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Old 11-28-2015, 09:10 AM   #3
JDeere
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Sex and attention! Lots of both please. If I don't get either often I turn into Mr. Asshole.
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Old 12-01-2015, 12:23 AM   #4
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Want: sex (minimum twice a week), homecooked meals, attention, weekly date nights, monthly road trips, listening without fixing things

Need: naked snuggle time on a nightly basis, make out sessions, trust, honesty, authenticity, kisses, empathy, compassion, patience, understanding
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Old 11-28-2015, 11:01 AM   #5
VintageFemme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake View Post
Vintage, we may want completely different things but I often feel like I am the only person in butch-femme land who wants what I do. Mostly I get people who want what I feel are rigid formulaic formal and stiff awkward (for me) dates that don't feel that treat me like an individual girl. Just a cut out gender representative to shovel fill in the blank formula romance on. And I feel invisible and sad rather than romanced.

It feel pretty much like I'm the only one that feels this way too.

I think it's a human condition to feel that way.
I feel invisible a lot of the time too.
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Old 11-28-2015, 12:16 PM   #6
angelface
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Originally Posted by VintageFemme View Post
I feel invisible a lot of the time too.
As I get older (and hopefully wiser), I've thrown away the long list of requirements needed to make a relationship perfect for me. If I'm to deeply connect with my potential partner then it is paramount that we truly see each other, hear each other and ultimately understand one another and not use some generic check list of preconceived traits that may or may not meet our true needs, wants and desires.
Yes it's important to have sexual chemistry, a meeting of the minds and an emotional connection but I feel this is often adds to the confused at the start of a relationship when you're in a state of limerence which has no longevity.
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Old 11-30-2015, 08:54 PM   #7
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This made me smile today... and it seemed appropriate for here.

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