The Gendering of the Young

[Medusa]

I saw this thread and was reminded of growing up and being larger than my other brothers and sisters and how that translated to my Mom and step-parents as "She's bigger, she can do "boys" work".

One distinct memory I have is that my Step-Dad owned a used car lot and body shop and he would make me come down to his shop every Saturday morning when I was 8 or 9 and pick up tools, move car parts, stack boxes, etc. He would also make me stack concrete blocks, clean out the horse pens, and bale hay.

I once asked my Mom why I had to help in the garage and work in the barn when my sister didnt have to. Her answer was, "Because your bigger and she's more frilly."

More "frilly" meant "she was a waif and I was a chubster".

Later, this translated into me being seen as "a tomboy", where my sister was a "princess", even though I was asking for the same red Reeboks and miniskirts (It was the 80s!)

Anyone else experience anything like this with size and gender conformity as a child? I know some of us have talked about being adults who are fat and how we are often seen as less feminine because of our size by the outside world.

Great discussion Nat!

[Cyclopea]

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

Nice. Oversexualizing at an early age. When people get upset about the statistics for teen pregnancy, someone should show them this.

This may be the bitch in me speaking, but it would have been better with gay boys. That one girl was all over the place.

[Soon]

I watched that video yesterday and am completely stunned and disgusted at adults allowing, coaching, watching, encouraging (!) these SEVEN year olds performing this sexualized dance.

Appalling.

[Cyclopea]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I watched that video yesterday and am completely stunned and disgusted at adults allowing, coaching, watching, encouraging (!) these SEVEN year olds performing this sexualized dance.

Appalling.

Right???
The sad thing is that they are SOOOOOOO talented! But the whole Jon Benet Ramsey thing just killed it.

[betenoire]

Oh my god, that was so inappropriate. I actually started crying because it -upset- me to see little children doing that.

[Cyclopea]

Originally Posted by betenoire

Oh my god, that was so inappropriate. I actually started crying because it -upset- me to see little children doing that.

Oh hon! I'm so sorry!
It freaked me out too...
One of the problems with gendering the young is that much of what genders "female" has traditionally been serving as an object for the sexualized gaze.
Sad...

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

Oh hon! I'm so sorry!
It freaked me out too...
One of the problems with gendering the young is that much of what genders "female" has traditionally been serving as an object for the sexualized gaze.
Sad...

Don't be sorry. It's not your fault that I'm such a weepypants about stuff like this.

It really -is- fucked that this is what gendering females leads to. You don't see anybody making little boys go about topless with lots of baby oil on or anything (although, thank god for that.)

It just goes to show that to the world at large we -really- aren't worth anything more than what's going on between our legs. So so fucked.

This is one of the reasons that I'm never having children.

[SuperFemme]

THIS is the original knock off....and the only one worth watching IMO.

[Nat]

http://www.wpix.com/news/wpix-rivers...,1999838.story

Cops: Babysitter Struck, Killed Infant

RIVERSIDE, N.Y. (WPIX) - A man is accused of fatally striking a 17-month-old infant he was babysitting Sunday night on the Shinnecock Indian Reservation on Long Island, according to New York State police.

The suspect has been identified as Pedro Jones, 20, of South Hampton. He has been charged with first-degree manslaughter after allegedly hitting the boy "several times throughout his body with close fists" and grabbed him by the neck, according to the felony complaint filed by police.

Authorities say Jones also told them, "I was trying to make him act like a boy instead of a little girl. I never struck that kid that hard before."

The infant, Roy A. Jones, was reportedly found in cardiac arrest and was rushed to Southampton Hospital where he died around 8:30 p.m.

"I just found out my Grandson died last night that's all I know," Donna Collins Smith.told PIX 11 News.

Police said Jones, who is not a member of the Shinnecock nation but lives on the reservation, is the boyfriend of the baby's mother.

"He infiltrated my family through our trust, through the heart of my daughter and then stole the life of her child," said the baby's grandfather Daniel Collins. "I hope the justice system turns around and steals his."

Jones pleaded not guilty during his arraignment Monday at Southampton Town Justice Court. He is currently being held without bail at Suffolk County jail.

Additional charges or the current charge could be upgraded pending the completion of the investigation, police said.

[Soon]

Ads for a FL Martial Arts Academy:





Yeah, Pops. Nip that gaiety in the ass, and get junior kicking some ass and karate-chopping some wood, all while listening to Eye of the motherfucking Tiger. That'll knock those show tunes out of his head and some sense into him. Other tips: Make him change the oil in your pickup, naked. And take him deer hunting, naked. Better yet, queer hunting. You and your drinking buds can go to a local Miami gay bar and show him how to pound the dust out of some fairies, who hopefully haven't taken martial arts classes at Key Biscayne's RDCA.

http://copyranter.blogspot.com/2010/...tle-cross.html

[Fancy]

I showed this version to my son....he loves dancing to Beyonce (and Janet Jackson).

Originally Posted by Gemme

Nice. Oversexualizing at an early age. When people get upset about the statistics for teen pregnancy, someone should show them this.

This may be the bitch in me speaking, but it would have been better with gay boys. That one girl was all over the place.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Freckle-K

I showed this version to my son....he loves dancing to Beyonce (and Janet Jackson).

omg, that's so hot. I got a little bit tingly in my bottom

[~baby~doll~]

In a society which is rife with gender stereotypes and biases, children regularly learn to adopt gender roles which are not always fair to both sexes. As children move through childhood and into adolescence, they are exposed to many factors which influence their attitudes and behaviors regarding gender roles. These attitudes and behaviors are generally learned first in the home and are then reinforced by the child's peers, school experience, and television viewing. However, the strongest influence on gender role development seems to occur within the family setting, with parents passing on, both overtly and covertly, to their children their own beliefs about gender. This overview of the impact of parental influence on gender role development leads to the suggestion that an androgynous gender role orientation may be more beneficial to children than strict adherence to traditional gender roles.

http://gozips.uakron.edu/~susan8/parinf.htm

We are assigned these roles before we get home and are expected by tradition to adapt and follow what has gone before us.
Melissa says in her song Gotta Go Now

Women can work
As long as dinner is done
And if you let little girls play with trucks
Their sexuality gets all screwed up
This is so the truth about being forced into expectations rather than allowing us to be who we are.

[Ginger]

Every time we reach for an article of clothing to get dressed in the morning we're making a decision based on countless considerations; some conscious, some unconscious. It isn't possible to dress in a neutral way.

As adults on this site supporting the butch/femme identity, our clothes might be seen to send signals as to our sexual preference.

I don't dress "like a femme" because I'm supporting the binary gendering of girls in childhood. But some might interpret it that way.

I also don't dress this way because I'm sending a message to butch women, though that's a perk I guess.

So why do I affect a stereotypically feminine appearance (if you don't look too closely)?

Can't even begin to answer that one right now. But good thread! I like the questions it brings up.

[Nat]

I saw this posted on facebook - no idea if it's a true story or not, but it's cute.

[Sheridan]

As a little kid I fought against those that tried to make me a little cute girl. I would ask my mother for boy toys and she let me have them. If I was given dolls I played superheroes and cops and robbers with them not house and barbie dream house (my dolls were GI-Janes). My favorite things were my toy cars and trucks, my bicycle, and stuff animals (which every gender in childhood love, they are soft and cuddly). I would not wear girlie clothes and if someone tried to stick me in pink and ruffles, I threw a total fit.

This kid is my hero:

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

Well.

That was ten kinds of disturbing wasn't it?
Where the HELL are their parents?

Did Jon Benet Ramsey not teach anyone anything?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Freckle-K

I showed this version to my son....he loves dancing to Beyonce (and Janet Jackson).

Thank you! I flippin' love being right.

[Enchantress]

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

I find this absolutely disturbing.

Little girls too young to even have curves or breasts yet, being taught such overtly sexual moves and suggestive ways.

As for the original video, I don't believe the father meant anything offensive. He simply reacted as almost anyone would.

It's impossible to tell in this video if it was meant as a *You're not a girl stop being a sissy way*. I believe that the father was simply playing with his son.

I do find it fascinating though how the child reacted. He's much too young to know that there are boy things and girl things (as placed by society). He simpy went with instinct to have fun and be a part of something. He seems to be not only upset about not being able to do as his sisters were, but also humiliated at the fact that he made some sort of a mistake (or so he thinks). Such moments, even if not in the forefront of our minds, stay with us for a lifetime.

I do not feel that giving a little girl pink things and a little boy blue things makes or breaks their sexuality or sense of being.

Instead, it is when a parent or person of authority berates and forces a child into a role or situation, or does not respect the childs wishes for certain toys and such (based again on what they believe society finds acceptable) that it becomes dangerous, cruel and oppresses their (the childs)spirit.