(Re)Building the trust...

[Jane Bond]

Originally Posted by Shay McGee

Every time I have had my trust broken an imprint is left, that can never be erased. Only a portion of what was before can ever be brought back. I usually stick my neck out there and have those hard conversations. I really respect people who will reach out, with the intention of repairing trust.

It occurred to me that (for me) trust can be broken and repaired among family, friends and romantic partners if it didn't involve betrayal.
For example, if I loan a friend $100 and she promises to pay it back next week, then 6 weeks later I have to ask her about it, then she hems and haws, I might not trust her enough to lend her more money, but I don't see the friendship ending over 100 lousy bucks.

When my heart is involved and a woman with whom I share a commitment, sleeps with or romantically carries on online with someone whose emails and texts she has to delete lest I catch on to her, that's different. That's broken trust, that usually includes lies by omission, denials, jealousy, arguments, promises that may or may not be true, etc. Broken vows IMHO destroy the trust for good.
I have remained friends with most of my exes, but with the ones who cheated it took many years before it stopped mattering to me. I have cheated myself a couple of times (a long time ago) and as I recall, they chose not to remain friends.
I broke up with a very nice woman after a LTR because I had met and fallen for the woman who is now my ex wife. But I broke it off with the ex before I started sleeping with (or even kissed) the one I married, because I respected the ex, and wanted to start the new relationship fully available and single.
The ex was pissed off that I started seeing the new one so soon, but she said at least I never cheated on her. I still felt guilty but I kept that to myself.