What Cracked You Up Today?

Kenna · 05-11-2010, 09:34 PM

I was trying to set an appointment for a particular customer today...

in her really REALLY shrill voice (that I first thought was my boss playing a trick) she tells me - make that YELLS at me- that Tuesdays and Wednesdays wouldn't work for her because she's "over 90 years old and still goes golfing on Tuesday and Wednesday, but it is just too damn cold to go today... I'm 90 years old, I can't be out in this 40 degree weather, it's just too damn cold today!!!! But next Tuesday you bet I will be at the Country Club!!"

When I asked her what day would work for her other than Tuesday or Wednesday, she yelled in an ear piercing shrill voice "Honey, I TOLD you I was hard of hearing, are you too? I said Tuesday and Wednesdays wouldn't work for me! I just have to have someone clean those whirly gigs out of my gutters!! I can't have my grandson do it, he's worthless!! Can you come on another day OTHER than Tuesday or Wednesday? I might be 90 years old, but I still get out and golf EVERY week!!" by this time, I'm sitting at my desk with the phone in one hand OUT from my ear...and my forehead in my other hand wondering when she was gonna hush so I could approach this from a different angle.

What cracked me up even more....was when I told the entire, full story complete with animations and mimics of her shrill voice to Mom... watching Mom crack up so hard she had tears!! I had her reaching for the tissues and holding her ribs!!

"But I just got to get to the Country Club honey!! Come get those whirly giggs out of my gutters! I can't stand whirly giggs! Hey honey, have you ever gone golfing before? I tell ya, it's good for the blood and old knees!"

OMG!! I better NOT find out that was the boss playing a trick!!

SuperFemme · 05-11-2010, 10:12 PM

Just about everything, but high up on the list was my overuse of the word PieHole today.

I may have used it in therapy.

UofMfan · 05-12-2010, 08:09 AM

I stole this joke from a guy who posted it on TPM's FB page:

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini." ... See More

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,

"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious... So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,

"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.

He goes back into the bar. The robot says,

"What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 60."

The robot leans in real close and says,

"So, you people still happy you voted for Palin?"

SuperFemme · 05-12-2010, 12:25 PM

UofMans post just made me spit water. Thanks for that.

UofMfan · 05-12-2010, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

UofMans post just made me spit water. Thanks for that.

I aim to please.

BTW, just like June you are missing an F in my nick. Can you just call me "U"? I mean, we are tight right?

SuperFemme · 05-12-2010, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofMfan

I aim to please.

BTW, just like June you are missing an F in my nick. Can you just call me "U"? I mean, we are tight right?

Oh. My. Gay. Now I just died a thousand deaths. Somebody hold me.

UofMfan · 05-12-2010, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Oh. My. Gay. Now I just died a thousand deaths. Somebody hold me.

I have that effect on women

Kenna · 05-27-2010, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet

I was trying to set an appointment for a particular customer today...

in her really REALLY shrill voice (that I first thought was my boss playing a trick) she tells me - make that YELLS at me- that Tuesdays and Wednesdays wouldn't work for her because she's "over 90 years old and still goes golfing on Tuesday and Wednesday, but it is just too damn cold to go today... I'm 90 years old, I can't be out in this 40 degree weather, it's just too damn cold today!!!! But next Tuesday you bet I will be at the Country Club!!"

When I asked her what day would work for her other than Tuesday or Wednesday, she yelled in an ear piercing shrill voice "Honey, I TOLD you I was hard of hearing, are you too? I said Tuesday and Wednesdays wouldn't work for me! I just have to have someone clean those whirly gigs out of my gutters!! I can't have my grandson do it, he's worthless!! Can you come on another day OTHER than Tuesday or Wednesday? I might be 90 years old, but I still get out and golf EVERY week!!" by this time, I'm sitting at my desk with the phone in one hand OUT from my ear...and my forehead in my other hand wondering when she was gonna hush so I could approach this from a different angle.

What cracked me up even more....was when I told the entire, full story complete with animations and mimics of her shrill voice to Mom... watching Mom crack up so hard she had tears!! I had her reaching for the tissues and holding her ribs!!

"But I just got to get to the Country Club honey!! Come get those whirly giggs out of my gutters! I can't stand whirly giggs! Hey honey, have you ever gone golfing before? I tell ya, it's good for the blood and old knees!"

OMG!! I better NOT find out that was the boss playing a trick!!

I wish all customers were this fun!!
So, I had to call this little, sweet old lady back today and tell her that my boss would be a little late... she said "that's okay, I'm over 90 years old but I'm still here and my gutters are still here! He can visit anytime, I'm not going anywhere."

She just tickled me silly!! I adore her spirit!! LOL

diamondrose · 05-27-2010, 07:49 AM

Reading some of the posts in the caption avatar thread

Kenna · 05-28-2010, 09:26 AM

He knew it!

GoofyLuvr · 05-28-2010, 09:45 AM

I received a check in the mail the other day. I had been expecting it, but it was much larger than I thought it would be. I was just about doing back flips, I was so excited! So, my friend and I went to try to get it cashed. After many tries, I found out the only way to get it cashed was with a hold placed on the funds. My good mood suddenly went south. I had PLANS for that money!!! My friend looked at me, and said "Now, I know all the red has been licked off your candy, but it will be ok."
I looked at her for a second, digesting what she had just said, then busted out laughing. How could I stay bummed after a comment like that?

05-11-2010, 09:34 PM	#1
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,191 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	here's the short story.... I was trying to set an appointment for a particular customer today... in her really REALLY shrill voice (that I first thought was my boss playing a trick) she tells me - make that YELLS at me- that Tuesdays and Wednesdays wouldn't work for her because she's "over 90 years old and still goes golfing on Tuesday and Wednesday, but it is just too damn cold to go today... I'm 90 years old, I can't be out in this 40 degree weather, it's just too damn cold today!!!! But next Tuesday you bet I will be at the Country Club!!" When I asked her what day would work for her other than Tuesday or Wednesday, she yelled in an ear piercing shrill voice "Honey, I TOLD you I was hard of hearing, are you too? I said Tuesday and Wednesdays wouldn't work for me! I just have to have someone clean those whirly gigs out of my gutters!! I can't have my grandson do it, he's worthless!! Can you come on another day OTHER than Tuesday or Wednesday? I might be 90 years old, but I still get out and golf EVERY week!!" by this time, I'm sitting at my desk with the phone in one hand OUT from my ear...and my forehead in my other hand wondering when she was gonna hush so I could approach this from a different angle. What cracked me up even more....was when I told the entire, full story complete with animations and mimics of her shrill voice to Mom... watching Mom crack up so hard she had tears!! I had her reaching for the tissues and holding her ribs!! "But I just got to get to the Country Club honey!! Come get those whirly giggs out of my gutters! I can't stand whirly giggs! Hey honey, have you ever gone golfing before? I tell ya, it's good for the blood and old knees!" OMG!! I better NOT find out that was the boss playing a trick!!

05-28-2010, 09:26 AM	#10
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,191 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	He knew it! __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

05-11-2010, 10:12 PM	#2
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	Just about everything, but high up on the list was my overuse of the word PieHole today. I may have used it in therapy.

05-12-2010, 08:09 AM	#3
UofMfan Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Neither here or there Posts: 7,987 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 27,733 Thanked 18,935 Times in 4,705 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I stole this joke from a guy who posted it on TPM's FB page: Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." ... See More The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious... So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 60." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Palin?"

05-12-2010, 12:25 PM	#4
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	UofMans post just made me spit water. Thanks for that.

05-27-2010, 07:49 AM	#9
diamondrose Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: . Posts: 1,384 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2 Thanked 2,895 Times in 923 Posts Rep Power: 13536274	Reading some of the posts in the caption avatar thread

05-28-2010, 09:45 AM	#11
GoofyLuvr Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme :) Preferred Pronoun?: Well golly gee whiz, I bet she would do it! Relationship Status: completely, totally, head over heels in love :) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Maine!!! Posts: 122 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 139 Thanked 162 Times in 53 Posts Rep Power: 163	I received a check in the mail the other day. I had been expecting it, but it was much larger than I thought it would be. I was just about doing back flips, I was so excited! So, my friend and I went to try to get it cashed. After many tries, I found out the only way to get it cashed was with a hold placed on the funds. My good mood suddenly went south. I had PLANS for that money!!! My friend looked at me, and said "Now, I know all the red has been licked off your candy, but it will be ok." I looked at her for a second, digesting what she had just said, then busted out laughing. How could I stay bummed after a comment like that?