Grieving

not2shygrrl · 01-19-2016, 04:59 PM

Well Ma, 7 years ago. As I look at that number (1-2-3-4-5-6-)...7...seven....days, weeks, months, years...I understand the time that has gone by. I feel my heart break.....7....seven.....years could still be just seconds ago....7. The loss of you was a whirlwind for 13 days from beginning to end. Tho that time we had with you was truly a blessing, none of it prepared us for when you were gone. Just like that, the family rock, our Gibraltar. To say thank you cannot conceivably cover what I mean to say, what I want to say. So I say it here, where I know my words will be read, my heartbreak will be felt and others will understand. Sometimes, siblings just don't understand in that your love for me, and the relationships with women I have brought to you, the support and encouragement you openly gave me paved way for the family to accept and embrace me and my relationships. My siblings don't understand how complicated this is for many others who never had this support.

So all I can do is say what I feel, as I always have done. I feel as if I could never thank you enough for loving me no differently, for the life I do have and my happiness all had to do with how you expressed openly your unconditional love. I feel as if I need you here, not there. I feel you have done really well in raising me. I feel a need to hug you and sit with you and talk. I feel as if I need to see your smile.........I feel as if I am being selfish by wanting you here. I feel blessed to have had you for my Ma.
I feel grateful for a space to share this visually, thank you BFP

not2shygrrl · 05-09-2016, 01:44 PM

A lovely woman I was in a relationship with lost one of her daughters yesterday. She has two and this one she lost, the younger one, was a free spirit. Hiking, photography, a wiz at mathematics and went to a university in Utah for her Masters, eventually moving to Colorado, an adventurer in every aspect of her life. Loved her family, and sparkled from the inside and out. Never to be held back she has accomplished/experienced more in her 31 years of life than most people do in a lifetime. She was a sweet girl, gentle to all life.

My heart breaks for my ex, she flew across the US to be with her daughter who was in a very bad car accident. Her daughter and a friend were in a car hit from the rear. Both needed critical life sustaining measures, so far one of them has died (my ex's daughter) and the other is still fighting for her life.

I cannot reach out to her personally, it didn't end well between us. I have family members who will and I am comfortable with that. I can't even imagine. She herself is somewhat emotionally fragile normally. I can only pray for her broken heart to have strength to get through this and learn how to live life all over again. I pray for the family and that they have strength to endure this time of such sorrow. I pray for the soul of her daughter that has started a new life and home in a journey I believe we all will one day make. I continue to be at a loss emotionally, in shock and can express that here.

God , please help this family. There is so much heartbreak, pain and loss. Give them the strength needed, assurance and comfort that they are not alone in the loss of their loved one.
Amen

Stone-Butch · 05-09-2016, 03:02 PM

I lost my father in 2000 and my mother in 2005 and its like only yesterday we shared so many happy days. I miss you both so much, think of you often and love you as much as I did then. Just to hear your voices one more time but it is done and I am very sad.

Shystonefem · 05-09-2016, 03:19 PM

May is a difficult month for me. My mom's birthday is May 5th. I lost her when I was 21. My dad pass 3 years before my mom on May 20th.

I don't know if you ever get over the loss of a parent. I was extremely close to my dad and not really close to my mom in the end. Still, I dislike May a bit.

theoddz · 05-09-2016, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shystonefem

May is a difficult month for me. My mom's birthday is May 5th. I lost her when I was 21. My dad pass 3 years before my mom on May 20th.

I don't know if you ever get over the loss of a parent. I was extremely close to my dad and not really close to my mom in the end. Still, I dislike May a bit.

I hear ya. May is also a very difficult month for me, also. I lost my father 3 years ago, on May 17th. In him, I lost, not only my dear father, but my mentor, my best friend, my hero and one of my staunchest allies. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and wish he were still here. May 15th has a couple of painful anniversaries by itself, which I won't go into here. It is a month of loss, really. I have learned to come to terms with a lot of the grief, but there are still some sad, raw emotions that come in this sad month for me.

I hope your month passes peacefully, SSF. Surround yourself with loved ones and do a little something special for yourself. Take care of you.

~Theo~

storyspinner70 · 05-09-2016, 03:51 PM

My sister died when she was 7 - I was 18. My dad lost his mind. My mom retreated. I compartmentalized. My brother - I don't know. So it went on. It was always hard to know whether to include her in family things. We didn't speak of her for a long time because it hurt too much. It still does.

Mother's Day is always rough, because my ex lost his mother when she was 48, my butch lost her mother a few years ago, and celebrating my mother always seems to mean remembering my lost sister.

My thoughts to all of you who are having a hard time this time of year. Prayers if you want them, wishes if you don't. I'm sorry for all your pain.

theoddz · 06-07-2016, 11:07 AM

Yesterday, I lost the second half of 2 of the best friends I've ever had in my life......my dear old friend of over 30 years, Irene. Dear Wife and I had to make the awful, heartwrenching decision to withdraw the life support that was sustaining her for the last 6 days. There was just no "meaningful recovery" in her future, due to Multi Organ Failure, and it was simply time to let Irene go with her wife, soulmate and lover of over 22 years (separated only by death, when Angie died at age 42, in 1995).

There is a profound sense of sadness in my heart, but in another sense, I am very happy for her that she is now with Angie again. Irene wished to be cremated, and that is what we will do for her. Long ago, I promised Irene that, when she died, I would take her back home to Brunswick, GA, and scatter her ashes over the Marshes of Glynn (poem by Sidney Lanier).

Rest in peace, old friend, and know that you were deeply loved and will be sorely missed. Go with Angie and know love, joy and peace again.

~Theo~

01-19-2016, 04:59 PM	#1
not2shygrrl Member How Do You Identify?: as a Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: under the cover of starry starry nights...enjoying a warm fire in the pit ! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: in a cabin in the woods Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,068 Thanked 2,454 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	from number 6of10 Well Ma, 7 years ago. As I look at that number (1-2-3-4-5-6-)...7...seven....days, weeks, months, years...I understand the time that has gone by. I feel my heart break.....7....seven.....years could still be just seconds ago....7. The loss of you was a whirlwind for 13 days from beginning to end. Tho that time we had with you was truly a blessing, none of it prepared us for when you were gone. Just like that, the family rock, our Gibraltar. To say thank you cannot conceivably cover what I mean to say, what I want to say. So I say it here, where I know my words will be read, my heartbreak will be felt and others will understand. Sometimes, siblings just don't understand in that your love for me, and the relationships with women I have brought to you, the support and encouragement you openly gave me paved way for the family to accept and embrace me and my relationships. My siblings don't understand how complicated this is for many others who never had this support. So all I can do is say what I feel, as I always have done. I feel as if I could never thank you enough for loving me no differently, for the life I do have and my happiness all had to do with how you expressed openly your unconditional love. I feel as if I need you here, not there. I feel you have done really well in raising me. I feel a need to hug you and sit with you and talk. I feel as if I need to see your smile.........I feel as if I am being selfish by wanting you here. I feel blessed to have had you for my Ma. I feel grateful for a space to share this visually, thank you BFP

05-09-2016, 01:44 PM	#2
not2shygrrl Member How Do You Identify?: as a Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: under the cover of starry starry nights...enjoying a warm fire in the pit ! Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: in a cabin in the woods Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,068 Thanked 2,454 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	that unexpected phone call came. A lovely woman I was in a relationship with lost one of her daughters yesterday. She has two and this one she lost, the younger one, was a free spirit. Hiking, photography, a wiz at mathematics and went to a university in Utah for her Masters, eventually moving to Colorado, an adventurer in every aspect of her life. Loved her family, and sparkled from the inside and out. Never to be held back she has accomplished/experienced more in her 31 years of life than most people do in a lifetime. She was a sweet girl, gentle to all life. My heart breaks for my ex, she flew across the US to be with her daughter who was in a very bad car accident. Her daughter and a friend were in a car hit from the rear. Both needed critical life sustaining measures, so far one of them has died (my ex's daughter) and the other is still fighting for her life. I cannot reach out to her personally, it didn't end well between us. I have family members who will and I am comfortable with that. I can't even imagine. She herself is somewhat emotionally fragile normally. I can only pray for her broken heart to have strength to get through this and learn how to live life all over again. I pray for the family and that they have strength to endure this time of such sorrow. I pray for the soul of her daughter that has started a new life and home in a journey I believe we all will one day make. I continue to be at a loss emotionally, in shock and can express that here. God , please help this family. There is so much heartbreak, pain and loss. Give them the strength needed, assurance and comfort that they are not alone in the loss of their loved one. Amen

05-09-2016, 03:02 PM	#3
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,622 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,240 Thanked 9,287 Times in 2,998 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	loss I lost my father in 2000 and my mother in 2005 and its like only yesterday we shared so many happy days. I miss you both so much, think of you often and love you as much as I did then. Just to hear your voices one more time but it is done and I am very sad.

05-09-2016, 03:19 PM	#4
Shystonefem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Shy for President Join Date: May 2014 Location: NH Posts: 1,105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,475 Thanked 3,672 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	May is a difficult month for me. My mom's birthday is May 5th. I lost her when I was 21. My dad pass 3 years before my mom on May 20th. I don't know if you ever get over the loss of a parent. I was extremely close to my dad and not really close to my mom in the end. Still, I dislike May a bit. __________________ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu

05-09-2016, 03:51 PM	#6
storyspinner70 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: VA Posts: 355 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,366 Thanked 987 Times in 289 Posts Rep Power: 8681947	My sister died when she was 7 - I was 18. My dad lost his mind. My mom retreated. I compartmentalized. My brother - I don't know. So it went on. It was always hard to know whether to include her in family things. We didn't speak of her for a long time because it hurt too much. It still does. Mother's Day is always rough, because my ex lost his mother when she was 48, my butch lost her mother a few years ago, and celebrating my mother always seems to mean remembering my lost sister. My thoughts to all of you who are having a hard time this time of year. Prayers if you want them, wishes if you don't. I'm sorry for all your pain. __________________ So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. ― Jorge Luis Borges

06-07-2016, 11:07 AM	#7
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,538 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,112 Thanked 9,926 Times in 2,510 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Yesterday, I lost the second half of 2 of the best friends I've ever had in my life......my dear old friend of over 30 years, Irene. Dear Wife and I had to make the awful, heartwrenching decision to withdraw the life support that was sustaining her for the last 6 days. There was just no "meaningful recovery" in her future, due to Multi Organ Failure, and it was simply time to let Irene go with her wife, soulmate and lover of over 22 years (separated only by death, when Angie died at age 42, in 1995). There is a profound sense of sadness in my heart, but in another sense, I am very happy for her that she is now with Angie again. Irene wished to be cremated, and that is what we will do for her. Long ago, I promised Irene that, when she died, I would take her back home to Brunswick, GA, and scatter her ashes over the Marshes of Glynn (poem by Sidney Lanier). Rest in peace, old friend, and know that you were deeply loved and will be sorely missed. Go with Angie and know love, joy and peace again. *~Theo~*