Being female within Butch

[Celtglen]

Kids seem like they better understand gender than we did in the 50s and 60s--etc.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Celtglen

Kids seem like they better understand gender than we did in the 50s and 60s--etc.

I dont know that kids understand it better. People have been reaping the benefits from what was started with the womens movement in the 60's and 70's for over 50 years now.

The movement was about breaking free from the stereotypes of and the societal expectations of what it meant to be a female. As a result, females/women were empowered to redefine life for themselves. It affected everything - clothing choices, career choices, reproductive choices, sexual choices, how to express femaleness, etc.

Each successive generation has added to what was started a long time ago.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Celtglen

Kids seem like they better understand gender than we did in the 50s and 60s--etc.

There's far more exposure to different gender and sex presentations nowadays. Kids are so open and accepting until adults tell them differently.

[Ascot]

The other day i had a lunch meeting with my boss and was pleasantly surprised when he told me that he learns a lot from me. It is not unusual for us to talk politics, art, gender issues, etc. He said that by conversing with me, he has come to have a better understanding of and apprecitation for the relationship dynamics of his lesbian niece and her wife. I think I am the only Butch he's had so much access to, and I applaud him for taking the opportunity to pose the questions he does. He's come a long way for being a self avowed "older white guy who is politically moderate/conservative and kind of churchy." He also gets a kick out of my crisp white shirts (thanks Mom for teaching me you can never go wrong with one) and tells me I'm very Bostonian.

[cathexis]

Need a little advice, please.
Have facial hair (light red chin, moustache, and side burns), just moved to a small closeted town in the NY North Country, and not the tallest womon on Earth (4'10"). Am usually not able to project tons of confidence (tend to walk more like prey).
After the backstory, would you feel comfortable letting your facial hair grow out in this situation?
Lover is one of THOSE fabulous Alpha Butches that light up a room with their energy when entering, but don't want Her feeling obligated to defend me...She would!

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by cathexis

Need a little advice, please.
Have facial hair (light red chin, moustache, and side burns), just moved to a small closeted town in the NY North Country, and not the tallest womon on Earth (4'10"). Am usually not able to project tons of confidence (tend to walk more like prey).
After the backstory, would you feel comfortable letting your facial hair grow out in this situation?
Lover is one of THOSE fabulous Alpha Butches that light up a room with their energy when entering, but don't want Her feeling obligated to defend me...She would!

I pluck not shave. I used to wax but not anymore cuz my thyroid is wreaking havoc on my hair. As of now I wouldn't let it grow, for the fear of either having to defended or going on the defense.

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by cathexis

Need a little advice, please.
Have facial hair (light red chin, moustache, and side burns), just moved to a small closeted town in the NY North Country, and not the tallest womon on Earth (4'10"). Am usually not able to project tons of confidence (tend to walk more like prey).
After the backstory, would you feel comfortable letting your facial hair grow out in this situation?
Lover is one of THOSE fabulous Alpha Butches that light up a room with their energy when entering, but don't want Her feeling obligated to defend me...She would!

In my experience getting harassed for looking butch/masculine female is totally random. Some places where I would think I would I haven't, and other so-called liberal places I have.

I do have a mustache and the only time I have been directly harassed for that was in Los Angeles. I have mostly lived in liberal places but have also lived in Tennessee and now in a very small town in New Mexico and haven't experienced any problems. So for me, it seems totally random.

For me, if I got rid of my mustache I would still look butch so I don't think it would make me any safer from attacks. Facial hair on a female might freak some people out more but I would think in most cases it wouldn't make a big difference if you already look like a masculine female to begin with.

In really small towns (population of 800 people where I am at), people don't really have much room to hide if they are rude to someone. You are going to see the same people at the post office, the gas station, the convenience store over and over again, and I do find most people friendly.

I would say get a feel for the town and think about how much it means to you. I personally like having my mustache and don't plan to get rid of it, but if I was constantly getting harassed or felt uncomfortable I would consider it.

[Ascot]

I don't have any experience shaving facial hair, but by all accounts, it seems to make it more noticeable, particularly when it's growing out again. If downplaying its visibility is the concern, maybe bleaching it is a viable option? I joke about having a bit of a 'stache, but it's soft and light in color.

[cathexis]

Originally Posted by BullDog

In my experience getting harassed for looking butch/masculine female is totally random. Some places where I would think I would I haven't, and other so-called liberal places I have.

I do have a mustache and the only time I have been directly harassed for that was in Los Angeles. I have mostly lived in liberal places but have also lived in Tennessee and now in a very small town in New Mexico and haven't experienced any problems. So for me, it seems totally random.

For me, if I got rid of my mustache I would still look butch so I don't think it would make me any safer from attacks. Facial hair on a female might freak some people out more but I would think in most cases it wouldn't make a big difference if you already look like a masculine female to begin with.

In really small towns (population of 800 people where I am at), people don't really have much room to hide if they are rude to someone. You are going to see the same people at the post office, the gas station, the convenience store over and over again, and I do find most people friendly.

I would say get a feel for the town and think about how much it means to you. I personally like having my mustache and don't plan to get rid of it, but if I was constantly getting harassed or felt uncomfortable I would consider it.

A hairy update.lol

Chose to leave it be, but as it gets longer i'll trim and shave
areas.

Plan to create a handlebar 'stache if all goes well, and it should

when i talk the new doctor into putting me back on T (was on for several

years - stopped a few years ago with a doc change r/t move).

Thanx to all for advice and encouragement!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^cathexis^^^^^^^^^ ^^^

[BullDog]

Thanks for your hairy update!

Sounds good, especially the handlebar 'stache which is very cool. I hope your new town is treating you well and definitely keep us updated!.

Speaking of small towns and hair, I can't wait to go visit my friend in Albuquerque so I can get my haircut. We don't have much in the way of barbers here. Thank goodness for ball caps because I am really shaggy right now!

Originally Posted by cathexis

A hairy update.lol

Chose to leave it be, but as it gets longer i'll trim and shave
areas.

Plan to create a handlebar 'stache if all goes well, and it should

when i talk the new doctor into putting me back on T (was on for several

years - stopped a few years ago with a doc change r/t move).

Thanx to all for advice and encouragement!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^cathexis^^^^^^^^^ ^^^