Protecting our Butches

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Virago

I am about to speak from a view different angles, so please don't get upset until you read all through this.

The great majority of us have experienced dangerous, and sometimes life threatening harassment over our lifetimes. Do we educate and change these people by laying down and taking it? Do we educate these people by standing up and showing we're ready to meet fire with fire, punch with punch? Do we educate these people by trying to speak calmly to them, to show them the errors of their ways? Or by just sticking to our convictions and living our life?

I believe the answer to my own question is, Yes. We help educate these people by all of the above.
And no. We don't achieve a damn thing by any of the above. In other words, you have to look at each situation and decide if the personal risk imminent is worth the POSSIBLE advancement...

...what I'm trying to say is that it's a personal decision. Just don't come to the conclusion that there's ONE right answer. Do what is right for BOTH of you.

What you say certainly makes sense Virago, but you seem to be coming from the perspective that our reactions are something we decide upon. Sometimes we do consciously decide, and sometimes we just react. I think there's merit in both paths. Of course it's often wiser to think it through, but not every situation is always best approached by measuring and thinking and pondering. Sometimes swift, decisive action works best. I agree with you that reacting rashly can sometimes be counterproductive, but there are times...

I walk in the world with the knowledge that fairness isn't always part of the equation, that sometimes dangerous and destructive things just happen to us, and that many things are simply out of our control. What that means to me is that sometimes I just have to take action and hope that I'll act the way I would like my friends to remember me. I guess I've faced a lot of mortality in my life. I don't stress about it much anymore.