"straight" women and Butches.

[BullDog]

Everyone is entitled to their preferences, but there are a lot of negative stereotypes about bisexuals that get perpetuated and that is not cool.

I prefer to be with a lesbian or queer-identified femme (which could definitely include a woman who is bisexual), but everyone has their own identity and personal journey they are on, so I stay open. Some women do come out later in life.

[Lyte]

I agree x four!

If not straight as in first timers, what then?

[Lyte]

Originally Posted by Lyte

I agree x four! If not straight as in first timers, what then?

My bad... i refreshed my memory re: the original post.

Straight women hold no particular fascination for me. I tend to find most women fascinating... particularly femmes, whether they be gay, straight, bi or anywhere in between.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Lyte

My bad... i refreshed my memory re: the original post.

Straight women hold no particular fascination for me. I tend to find most women fascinating... particularly femmes, whether they be gay, straight, bi or anywhere in between.

I second this!!!

[Bubala]

Every generalization leads to stereotyping, and in my humble opinion generalizing (whether we infer it to be positive or negative in its nature) always harms its subject, as it invokes unfair judgment through a biased lens.

Coming out has nothing to do with who or what one is. The question of "outness" pertains to one's public transparency about their most inner self, that they may or may not feel compelled to advertize.

One's sexual orientation thus remains a unique personal state advertised or not.

I am a woman who has always loved butches. I have never been with a bio man ever - don't get me wrong I am by no means proud of myself over this fact, in fact I spent years being shamed by friends and acquaintances within our own community, telling me how I don't "really" knowing who I am because I haven't "tried it all"...

Speaking of out I have been outed by , at the time, self proclaimed "bisexual" friend in collage. It took me years to wash my brain off of the harsh biases earned by this one incident. Strangers always assume that I am straight, yet I know that this is my life, I CANNOT for the love of g-d I cannot change who I am, I wish I could , life would have been so much easier now wouldn't it? At the time of my wonderful outing, I felt such deep sense of betrayal by a friend who at the time chose to ID as "bisexual" / bi-curious? maybe... I felt like, oh nice you can hang out here while it's cool, then when things get though you can run right back across that bridge and watch us burn!? I cannot do that, this is my life, this is the one life I live and one skin I have, I cannot shed it, no matter how hard I might try... This does not reflect my current state of mind, I am using the narration above solely as a stylistic tool. Anyways decades later , that "friend" is happily married to a man, has a wonderful suburban home two kids and a dog and is, wait for it... a devoted Christian anti-lgbt activist! Who would have guessed it? Ha!

On the other hand I am still here holding my butch tightly, when we travel through hostile places around the world, or at home. Political and social struggle continues, few battles might have been won but the war is not over yet, for any basic human rights, we are far away from social freedom. Do I worry about my own safety, maybe, at times, I "pass" as straight, ppl assume, ppl cannot guess, what they don't know cannot hurt me, it's fine. However, I am not the one who walks around with a huge target on my forehead, my butch and all the butches out there are. This is my personal experience, around the world butches are the prime object of hate, as they represent a direct threat to misogynist patriarchal society... Anyways that's a digression so back to the subject.

Now, I am aware of my own biases, it took me years to wash my brain off of generalized notion that all of "them" "bi-curiours" people are simply "undecided" "explorers". Just because my former friend from collage was a person of certain character flaws, this does not mean that "all of them" are!
I am sure that every butch and femme and queer and trans and any which kind of human out there has their own negative experience and their own story. Maybe just maybe negativity can be an exception and positivity could be a rule?

Let's liberate ourslves from this "us" versus "them" predicament. We're all human, be who you are, do what and who you like, be happy, live and let others live!

I met many wonderful bi-sexual, pan-sexual and every which way sexual and asexual people out there, who for one reason or another may or may not fit the mold and are who they are, with no less integrity by any means than any other lesbian, gay, straight, queer, trans, bi, or whatever in -between, pink and polka dotted human alien person.

Love, peace and kind regards to all! <3

[JDeere]

Generalizations lead to alienation. Imo that's why we as a community have a problem with the non gltbqi community. But back to this topic, don't lump bisexuals with heterosexual because 9 times out of 10 they don't appreciate being lumped.

Plus if you stick to your guns about not dating a bisexual woman, you may miss out on a wonderful partner.

[Lyte]

I've thought it really the opposite. There is some... albeit tiny... basis in fact for every stereotype and it's from stereotyping that we begin to generalize.

Originally Posted by Bubala

Every generalization leads to stereotyping....