Lesbian Visibility--Your needs? Your thoughts?

[Bubala]

Just happen to stumble upon this TV bit again tonight.... Vice Essentials "The last lesbian bars" http://www.vice.com/read/the-last-le...rs-apvideo-178

One of the arguments explaining why this phenomenon of diminishing lesbian presence is happening is that social milieu plays the major part...

Quote: "Affluent middle class white lesbians are not spending their money going to bars..."

Wow....just wow....this hit me like a tone of bricks. Then I realized this actually really hits home for me, having never been a bar goer....

My next thought is what needs to be done to bridge the gap?

What is the alternative real-estate for lesbian visibility recitation if any, physical or virtual real estate?

[deeds]

Originally Posted by Bubala

Just happen to stumble upon this TV bit again tonight.... Vice Essentials "The last lesbian bars" http://www.vice.com/read/the-last-le...rs-apvideo-178

One of the arguments explaining why this phenomenon of diminishing lesbian presence is happening is that social milieu plays the major part...

Quote: "Affluent middle class white lesbians are not spending their money going to bars..."

Wow....just wow....this hit me like a tone of bricks. Then I realized this actually really hits home for me, having never been a bar goer....

My next thought is what needs to be done to bridge the gap?

What is the alternative real-estate for lesbian visibility recitation if any, physical or virtual real estate?

A smoke and coffee shop? ")

[Bubala]

Originally Posted by deeds

A smoke and coffee shop? ")

Lol whatever floats you boat.

Is it just me or does anyone else feels defeated at this time?

[deeds]

Originally Posted by Bubala

Lol whatever floats you boat.

Is it just me or does anyone else feels defeated at this time?

Why do you feel defeated?

[Bubala]

I've always been invisible... Now we all are... in a way...

[deeds]

Originally Posted by Bubala

I've always been invisible... Now we all are... in a way...

Oh..I always say hi and give a smile to all the lesbians I see..Start a secret organization where you stockpile weapons in case all hell breaks out on women... I would volunteer to fight for them all..Benefits of maintaining stealth by being invisible..

[Bubala]

Originally Posted by deeds

Oh..I always say hi and give a smile to all the lesbians I see..Start a secret organization where you stockpile weapons in case all hell breaks out on women... I would volunteer to fight for them all..Benefits of maintaining stealth by being invisible..

Oh yes stealth mode, undercover lesbian intel! lol

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Bubala

Just happen to stumble upon this TV bit again tonight.... Vice Essentials "The last lesbian bars" http://www.vice.com/read/the-last-le...rs-apvideo-178

One of the arguments explaining why this phenomenon of diminishing lesbian presence is happening is that social milieu plays the major part...

Quote: "Affluent middle class white lesbians are not spending their money going to bars..."

Wow....just wow....this hit me like a tone of bricks. Then I realized this actually really hits home for me, having never been a bar goer....

My next thought is what needs to be done to bridge the gap?

What is the alternative real-estate for lesbian visibility recitation if any, physical or virtual real estate?

I admit I didn't watch the video, but....

If people don't support any establishment by going there and also spending money there, then it closes.

I have had 20 years of going to lesbian bars. Owners have always given me the same reasons as to why lesbian bars close and gay men's flourish.

1) Historically women drink (drank) beer, so they spent less. Men drink alcohol/mixed drinks, so the tips are higher.

2) Women "couple up" and then drop out of the bar scene until they break up. Relationships don't keep men out of the bars.

Also, in the past, the bars were the only place that we could find each other, whether it be our lovers or our friends. Gay people don't even need their main social group to have gay people in it to find new partners. They just go online, pick up their next lover, and carry on. The same holds true as to why there is a high percentage of lesbian and gay men alcoholics and smokers. We were in the bars as that was our place to gather socially.

I have seen a lot of lesbian bars close over the years. Sad. There are some bars I/others have bemoaned the loss of for many, many years. I never expected Sister's in Philly to close. That one had been around a long time and I thought was still very busy. Young women spent money in that bar, buying mixed/specialty drinks that is more common with the younger, hip crowd. It certainly wasn't the "typical" lesbian bar where we were all drinking Coors Light back in the day. I only recently learned it closed several years ago.

Lesbians are more accepted mainstream. They can dance with their lovers in the bigger cities no matter the club. They don't need to go to the lesbian bars to be themselves. Gay men still have to hide in the shadows, so there is still a use for the bars. And their cash keeps the place going.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by Bubala

Just happen to stumble upon this TV bit again tonight.... Vice Essentials "The last lesbian bars" http://www.vice.com/read/the-last-le...rs-apvideo-178

One of the arguments explaining why this phenomenon of diminishing lesbian presence is happening is that social milieu plays the major part...

Quote: "Affluent middle class white lesbians are not spending their money going to bars..."

Wow....just wow....this hit me like a tone of bricks. Then I realized this actually really hits home for me, having never been a bar goer....

My next thought is what needs to be done to bridge the gap?

What is the alternative real-estate for lesbian visibility recitation if any, physical or virtual real estate?

The "scene" that my wife and I were into 12-14 years ago is MUCH different than our lives now. We both loved the lesbian bars, and the Long Beach area had several...Que Sera, Executive suites (not exclusively lesbian all nights), etc etc...but as we settled down to raise my daughter and live our boring average life, we stopped hitting the bars unless it was for a special occasion like a birthday.

Gay men ( of which I have a large group of friends) love to go out drinking, dancing, have stranger sex and party every weekend and several week nights. They keep the gay bars open and thriving, when I've had a drink and gone home for the month.

We turned to women's RV camping groups and lesbian golf clubs when we need "family time", but mostly it is Church and family and regular every day life for us.

[deeds]

And run as fast as my feet would let me....

[Wh1ms1]

To Ms Tinkerbelly,
I am fortunate to have been in my area when a group of savvy women banded together to bring lesbian entertainment to our town. We were able to see Suzanne Westenhoeffer, The Topp Twins, Vickie Shaw, Zrazy (I think...don't quote me) and many more that I can't name right now. The women in my area were most fortunate, for over 20 years, I believe, we were able to be entertained by top lesbian talent...Holly Near is another one. They have, unfortunately retired now. But that was one way of being visible in the community. I don't know whether it was the economy or what, but attendance did seem to taper off towards the end. But if you know of any women in your area with an enterpreneurial bent, this might be something to look into.

[Esme nha Maire]

Surprisingly, given that the city I live in is Britain's second largest, IMO the lesbian scene here sucks, at least in terms of provision. There is one - count them - one - small lesbian-centric bar, and a couple of other places where lesbians are often to be found at times. But even in the lesbian-centric bar it seems entirely random as to whether you'll find wall-to-wall women (yaay!) or mostly gay guys and their often straight female friends.

I was lucky enough that my first two visits to the scene, lesbian women were out in strength, and I had great nights out. The last couple of times, though,were deeply frustrating. Here I am, libido ticking over nicely, and I'm in the lesbian-centric bar. Damn. Gay guys and their female straight-looking friends.. Check the pool room - two lasses that cant understand my English well. Check the yard - plenty of women there, but clearly already in their own social groups. Suddenly an influx of women into the bar - yaay! DAMN! It's a hen party - complete with inflatable male doll. Sigh... The other two venues - one was mostly full of gay guys and drag queens, the other had me scratching my head to label the clientele, but dykey it certainly was not.

Now, I don;t mind a smattering of hetty women mixing with us, I really don't, so long as they behave sensibly and politely (If you're female and enter a lesbian bar,you may get hit on by women. Decline politely!), but I'd really rather not have guys about at all. Is it too much to ask to have ONE evening per week at one venue that's women-only?

Grrrr.

As for personal visibility,I've never in adult life been too bothered about what others think of my sexuality, I had bigger problems to worry about.

[stonebutchjack]

There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop.

I just need a space and there is none.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by stonebutchjack

There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop.

I just need a space and there is none.

I am very happy to hear you'd enjoying talking and learning from older butches! I fear some day that all the history of the LGBT will come by the wayside.....

[Femmewench]

Originally Posted by stonebutchjack

There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop.

I just need a space and there is none.

Create your own. Try Meet Up. You may find you're not alone. You can meet wherever your want; it doesn't have to be anyone's home at first.