What attracts you to Ftms ......

GoofyLuvr · 05-24-2010, 05:41 PM

Wow did this take off!!! Quite illuminating, actually. And has really made me think and analyze myself, my actions, my behaviors, and my feelings. And here's what I've come up with for myself.

I said before I've been struggling for years over who it is exactly I'm attracted to. And "struggle" is actually putting it mildly. I've always said I fall in love with the person, not what is on the outside. To this day, this remains a true statement. I've been with a lot of women, always butch, yet also always felt something was missing. And they probably knew it, cos I wasn't into their female parts like a "good lesbian" should be. (My words for myself, not directed at anybody else.) I've tried my best to be attracted to bio-males (and yes, I'm going to use that terminology as it helps make my point) and yet have never been able to find one that I have chemistry with. And I know some really nice, loving, sensitive bio-males, but they just aren't for me. My life would be so much easier sometimes if I was, from family relationships to societal interactions.

There is something about a trans-guy that fits me to a T. I've dated a few, and NEVER thought of them as "woman". But can I define why it is that I am attracted to the "trans-guy" and not "bio-male". Nope, sure can't. Wish to God I could. I can, though, say that I do not want to be with a woman again, no matter how butch she is. My own needs don't get met when I am with a woman, no matter how butch she/hy may be. It's just as simple as that. It's a gender that doesn't fit me, although it fits better than the male gender. I still get blisters when I put that shoe on, though.

I am attracted to the gender of a trans-man. I don't expect anything other than he be himself, as I am myself. On the flip side of the expectations, though, I've actually been told that I wouldn't be attractive to anyone of the trans-guy gender because I'm not high femme. I don't agree with this statement, and actually find it insulting not for myself, but for the gender. It's a backwards way of saying that a trans-guy has to be with a high-femme woman (whether she considers herself straight or not) to justify and emphasize his masculinity. And that just isn't so. And I'm not saying that the ones of this gender that are attracted to high femmes are so because of the aforesaid reasoning, I'm saying the person who made that statement needs to rethink their beliefs. People are attracted to people, whatever gender they may be attracted to. I id myself as queer because it's a simple way to make my preferences known. I'm not, though, going to be attracted to someone just becausehe is trans. That is only the first step. There is a whole lot more that needs to be known before I can say I'm attracted. I'm just saying he has a hell of a better chance at getting my attention than someone from another gender does.

05-24-2010, 05:41 PM	#11
GoofyLuvr Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme :) Preferred Pronoun?: Well golly gee whiz, I bet she would do it! Relationship Status: completely, totally, head over heels in love :) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Maine!!! Posts: 122 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 139 Thanked 162 Times in 53 Posts Rep Power: 163	Wow did this take off!!! Quite illuminating, actually. And has really made me think and analyze myself, my actions, my behaviors, and my feelings. And here's what I've come up with for myself. I said before I've been struggling for years over who it is exactly I'm attracted to. And "struggle" is actually putting it mildly. I've always said I fall in love with the person, not what is on the outside. To this day, this remains a true statement. I've been with a lot of women, always butch, yet also always felt something was missing. And they probably knew it, cos I wasn't into their female parts like a "good lesbian" should be. (My words for myself, not directed at anybody else.) I've tried my best to be attracted to bio-males (and yes, I'm going to use that terminology as it helps make my point) and yet have never been able to find one that I have chemistry with. And I know some really nice, loving, sensitive bio-males, but they just aren't for me. My life would be so much easier sometimes if I was, from family relationships to societal interactions. There is something about a trans-guy that fits me to a T. I've dated a few, and NEVER thought of them as "woman". But can I define why it is that I am attracted to the "trans-guy" and not "bio-male". Nope, sure can't. Wish to God I could. I can, though, say that I do not want to be with a woman again, no matter how butch she is. My own needs don't get met when I am with a woman, no matter how butch she/hy may be. It's just as simple as that. It's a gender that doesn't fit me, although it fits better than the male gender. I still get blisters when I put that shoe on, though. I am attracted to the gender of a trans-man. I don't expect anything other than he be himself, as I am myself. On the flip side of the expectations, though, I've actually been told that I wouldn't be attractive to anyone of the trans-guy gender because I'm not high femme. I don't agree with this statement, and actually find it insulting not for myself, but for the gender. It's a backwards way of saying that a trans-guy has to be with a high-femme woman (whether she considers herself straight or not) to justify and emphasize his masculinity. And that just isn't so. And I'm not saying that the ones of this gender that are attracted to high femmes are so because of the aforesaid reasoning, I'm saying the person who made that statement needs to rethink their beliefs. People are attracted to people, whatever gender they may be attracted to. I id myself as queer because it's a simple way to make my preferences known. I'm not, though, going to be attracted to someone *just because*he is trans. That is only the first step. There is a whole lot more that needs to be known before I can say I'm attracted. I'm just saying he has a hell of a better chance at getting my attention than someone from another gender does.