Expectations of FTMs/transsexed men (Dylan's thread)

[adorable]

Originally Posted by Dylan

Don't rely on stereotypes to describe your personal attractions?

Don't debase Another's identity to better fit your own identity?


I Had More, But...,
Dylan

Now we are getting off even the topic of this thread....sigh...but it IS a slow Monday for me.

This I think is part of the problem for me, once person's stereotype is another person's preference. And what if my preference happens to be a stereotype that you find distasteful? You gonna pop up and blast me for stereotyping you?? If I am posting in a thread about MY preferences, why isn't my post a reflection of me instead of you?

What I saw in that other thread that Linus magically made into this thread over here is that key words triggered a response. I GET IT. I do. I know...I see it. I know that plenty of assumptions and generalizations are made about TGs, male IDs and FTMs on the whole, based on who the Hell knows what.
BUT BUT BUT

In a thread where the OP has specifically asked for preferences, it's not possible IMO to really state them without using words that would trigger some sort of response. I didn't go listing off all the things I'd really like for that reason. I KNEW what would happen and how people get about such things. And not you, actually yeah you, lol and the collective you can get all riled when really people are just talking about what they like.

Now I get (trying to come a tad closer to the topic) that there is an idea of dual spirituality or dual gender or some dual whatever people are trying to turn it into so it all makes sense in their head. I see that as their head. And maybe, that is truly their experience with the people they have encountered. I don't know. I think it is fair for ME to say that isn't MY experience. Just as I think it would be fair for you to say that isn't YOUR experience.

I also understand that as much as others complain about chronic silencing for themselves, that truly it's not possible for TGs/FTMs/TRANS/MALE IDs to have a space that is theirs where they can celebrate who they are WHATEVER that means to them individually. What seems to happen is people feel the need to squash the maleness because, well, it's all male and instead of understanding how people feel inside it becomes more about --->WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO ALIGN WITH MEN? When in fact, it has nothing at all to do with that.

The question is not "What is wrong with being a woman?" Which is how I read a lot of the things that are said in different threads. What seems to not be heard is that no one is saying there is anything wrong with being a woman. It's just not how everyone FEELS. It is not who they are. And comparing outsides has no bearing at all on insides. It's not a choice that people make. It IS how people are born. It is something that can't be quantified or justified. I think it's awful when who someone IS - is silenced regardless of their ID. The same fight seems to ensue in many of these threads, and it's always sad to me. There is a sense of an underlying threat or this huge misunderstanding that, as I'm reading posts, I feel like I'm the only one that's seeing it...
Both sides are coming from VERY different places and it seems like they just cannot, or will not accept people for their insides.

Just because someone was raised as a girl doesn't make them a girl. They don't have to like it or embrace it. In some cases it's traumatizing. Imagine being born in the wrong body. WHY is it so important for some that to be here, with us, EVERYONE has to be a woman or all happy about it? Why is it that if people are not, then the word misogyny starts popping up all over? Why do they have to be what other people think they have to be in order to belong? I just don't get it.

[apretty]

some of these posts have a tone of female self-subjugation.

[weatherboi]

and fetishlike

Originally Posted by apretty

some of these posts have a tone of female self-subjugation.