What Cracked You Up Today?

Gemme · 04-09-2017, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wrang1er

It was definitely a

experience! I am not very good at finding specific threads and stumbled onto this one.

I'll bump it for you in a few, okay?

Wrang1er · 04-09-2017, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

I'll bump it for you in a few, okay?

You are too kind!

A. Spectre · 04-11-2017, 08:08 AM

The greatest restaurant review of all time, as well as cheeky and hell funny!

Le Cinq, Paris: restaurant review

It was supposed to be a joyous trip to one of France’s famous gastro palaces – what could possibly go wrong?

The dining room, deep in the hotel, is a broad space of high ceilings and coving, with thick carpets to muffle the screams. It is decorated in various shades of taupe, biscuit and fuck you. There’s a little gilt here and there, to remind us that this is a room designed for people for whom guilt is unfamiliar. It shouts money much as football fans shout at the ref. There’s a stool for the lady’s handbag. Well, of course there is.

Other things are the stuff of therapy. The canapé we are instructed to eat first is a transparent ball on a spoon. It looks like a Barbie-sized silicone breast implant, and is a “spherification”, a gel globe using a technique perfected by Ferran Adrià at El Bulli about 20 years ago. This one pops in our mouth to release stale air with a tinge of ginger. My companion winces. “It’s like eating a condom that’s been left lying about in a dusty greengrocer’s,” she says.

We hit it again in an amuse-bouche which doesn’t: a halved and refilled passionfruit, the vicious passionfruit supplemented by a watercress purée that tastes only of the plant’s most bitter tones. My lips purse, like a cat’s arse that’s brushed against nettles.

The cheapest of the starters is gratinated onions “in the Parisian style”. We’re told it has the flavour of French onion soup. It makes us yearn for a bowl of French onion soup. It is mostly black, like nightmares, and sticky, like the floor at a teenager’s party.

Wrang1er · 04-11-2017, 03:56 PM

We were all having dinner and some how the conversation turned to dating. My 72 year old mother said she had no interest unless it was Steve Harvey. She said he could put his shoes under her bed anytime. My ten year old nephew said ewww never say that again!

easygoingfemme · 04-11-2017, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wrang1er

We were all having dinner and some how the conversation turned to dating. My 72 year old mother said she had no interest unless it was Steve Harvey. She said he could put his shoes under her bed anytime. My ten year old nephew said ewww never say that again!

I have very fond memories of my Grandmother saying the same thing about an Elvis impersonator who came to her nursing home ... good times!

Wrang1er · 04-11-2017, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by easygoingfemme

I have very fond memories of my Grandmother saying the same thing about an Elvis impersonator who came to her nursing home ... good times!

Lol... That's funny. My mom loves Steve. I introduced her by watching Family Feud and Little Big Shots. The other day she told my sister and I that if she had Steve Harvey we could find them in the last room on the left. Which is her bedroom. I don't know if Steve could handle her.

gotoseagrl · 04-21-2017, 06:42 PM

At a local feline conservation center today one of the biggest kitties ever, the puma, started wailing with this high-pitched infant baby sounding yell. I was really surprised cause I expected it to sound more like the smaller jaguar who had a big deep scary roar.

Kenna · 05-13-2017, 08:50 PM

My attempt at making chocolate pudding with almond milk...

Bard · 06-14-2017, 09:28 AM

My whippet Phoebe running full tilt through the house.. being chased by her kitty Piper while the other pup Grace just watched from the couch

Kenna · 06-20-2017, 08:55 PM

Blade trying his best to teach me to play cards, and how goofy things get. Everybody should have friends like him that make them laugh so much.

Kenna · 06-24-2017, 09:39 AM

Watching a FB Live video with my roommate of his son and granddaughter trying to get a snake out of their kitchen cabinets, my roomie laughing and saying things like "I see you're barefooted...haven't learned anything in 40 years!"

Kenna · 06-27-2017, 02:10 PM

My goofball best friend laughing till he had tears about a FB video of "Choco the Macho Chihuahua".

On Sunday during a road trip with Blade and his sister, I should have videoed the whole trip for as many times as we cracked up. I'm glad we didn't get pulled over because the cop would have thought we were on laughing gas! ...and OMG, when Sis took over driving (with Blade giving her hell the whole time about not tearing up his new truck), Blade got a text from Mawmaw "are you all ok", Blade says "what should I say, FUCK NO?"...they had asked me to drive, but I said "no thanks, me and this watermelon back here are getting to be friends...we're on a first name basis now.". I thought Blade and Sis would fall out laughing!

04-11-2017, 08:08 AM	#3
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,079 Times in 1,496 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	The greatest restaurant review of all time, as well as cheeky and hell funny! Le Cinq, Paris: restaurant review It was supposed to be a joyous trip to one of France’s famous gastro palaces – what could possibly go wrong? The dining room, deep in the hotel, is a broad space of high ceilings and coving, with thick carpets to muffle the screams. It is decorated in various shades of taupe, biscuit and fuck you. There’s a little gilt here and there, to remind us that this is a room designed for people for whom guilt is unfamiliar. It shouts money much as football fans shout at the ref. There’s a stool for the lady’s handbag. Well, of course there is. Other things are the stuff of therapy. The canapé we are instructed to eat first is a transparent ball on a spoon. It looks like a Barbie-sized silicone breast implant, and is a “spherification”, a gel globe using a technique perfected by Ferran Adrià at El Bulli about 20 years ago. This one pops in our mouth to release stale air with a tinge of ginger. My companion winces. “It’s like eating a condom that’s been left lying about in a dusty greengrocer’s,” she says. We hit it again in an amuse-bouche which doesn’t: a halved and refilled passionfruit, the vicious passionfruit supplemented by a watercress purée that tastes only of the plant’s most bitter tones. My lips purse, like a cat’s arse that’s brushed against nettles. The cheapest of the starters is gratinated onions “in the Parisian style”. We’re told it has the flavour of French onion soup. It makes us yearn for a bowl of French onion soup. It is mostly black, like nightmares, and sticky, like the floor at a teenager’s party. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

04-11-2017, 03:56 PM	#4
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	My mom We were all having dinner and some how the conversation turned to dating. My 72 year old mother said she had no interest unless it was Steve Harvey. She said he could put his shoes under her bed anytime. My ten year old nephew said ewww never say that again!

04-21-2017, 06:42 PM	#7
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,104 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	At a local feline conservation center today one of the biggest kitties ever, the puma, started wailing with this high-pitched infant baby sounding yell. I was really surprised cause I expected it to sound more like the smaller jaguar who had a big deep scary roar. __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

05-13-2017, 08:50 PM	#8
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	My attempt at making chocolate pudding with almond milk... __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

06-14-2017, 09:28 AM	#9
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	My whippet Phoebe running full tilt through the house.. being chased by her kitty Piper while the other pup Grace just watched from the couch __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

06-20-2017, 08:55 PM	#10
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Blade trying his best to teach me to play cards, and how goofy things get. Everybody should have friends like him that make them laugh so much. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

06-24-2017, 09:39 AM	#11
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Watching a FB Live video with my roommate of his son and granddaughter trying to get a snake out of their kitchen cabinets, my roomie laughing and saying things like "I see you're barefooted...haven't learned anything in 40 years!" __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

06-27-2017, 02:10 PM	#12
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	My goofball best friend laughing till he had tears about a FB video of "Choco the Macho Chihuahua". On Sunday during a road trip with Blade and his sister, I should have videoed the whole trip for as many times as we cracked up. I'm glad we didn't get pulled over because the cop would have thought we were on laughing gas! ...and OMG, when Sis took over driving (with Blade giving her hell the whole time about not tearing up his new truck), Blade got a text from Mawmaw "are you all ok", Blade says "what should I say, FUCK NO?"...they had asked me to drive, but I said "no thanks, me and this watermelon back here are getting to be friends...we're on a first name basis now.". I thought Blade and Sis would fall out laughing! __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~