Grieving

[MsTinkerbelly]

My Father passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 2000, and my beloved Grandfather 6 wks later. In November 2009 my Grandmother went to join them, and my Mother....my often imperfect, but always loving Mother passed this last Saturday the 22nd.

I have missed my Father and Grandfather every day since they left, but over time it became a warm glow I carried around with me everywhere I went. I honestly can't say if I will survive the latest loss....I know in my head I have to be here for my daughter and spouse, but the grief, the unending pain in my soul.....

[Scota_Parisi]

One week ago, today - The storms and terrors were too much for my boy. His hips had been bothering him and we were trying new meds. But all the overnight pacing and panic with those bad storms on Tuesday - he couldn't walk Wednesday morning.

From a six week old fluffball with blue eyes to a huge 90 pound horse/dog - he was something else. He was my friend, sidekick, grandpup, a sibling to my kids, snack loving, cookie thief, houdini dog, sammich grabbin', white hair sheddin' hound. We sang songs about him and quite often he sang with us.

The kids didn't live with me as they were growing up. And he loved their visits, evident by the way he would practically recline on Brandon or Dani any chance he could. You could tell he wanted to keep them - just by his facial expressions. "Mom, can we keep them? Pleeaase?"

Oh... and he was a back talker, especially at bedtime - fussing back at me with the kids laughing as I would shoo him downstairs. And being a houdini hound he quite often found his way back upstairs with them.

He would sit on the couch curled up with me after they went back to their Dad's in Wisconsin. Sadness shared.

Anybody that met him, couldn't help but like and/or love him. His size intimidated people, but it didn't take long to see beyond it.

Almost 13 years of memories, stories, lots of laughter and lots and lots of love.

His last few years were more quiet, tried to keep things comfortable for him. And being an elderly boy, he slept a lot.

More than a dog, way much more than a pet - he was a beautiful Being.

And Lord, how the house - is so empty.

[naturlover_52]

Scota and others....

I know what is to lose someone that means A LOT to U....

this last Nov 2 I lost my Momma...she was a great woman and very very special to me. She wasn't just my mom..and now I am slowly losing my Dad too. He has was diagnoised w/ alzheimer's about 2 yrs ago and he is slowly going down hill and it is very hard to watch a man who for 22 yrs taught Honors biology at the local high school. Now I have to repeat things to him over and over and over again. Like just now he couldn't remember what month we are in and this is a Great sadness to me. I live w/ him and help him. I know that this is a continuous down hill and MORE to come. IT is just very hard to see.

sooo thanks for letting me post

[ruthie14]

Just talked with my former stepfather. My stepsister passed away today. We were never real close, but we have known each other since we were 4 years old. Had our first day of school together. Such a shame. Her children are in their late 20"s... too young. Can't help but cry.

[JustBeingMe]

It's been 9 months since my step father passed and I still have not had time to be able to grieve over his loss. He is a great person that I love very dearly and I miss him. Maybe after next week's crap is over and done with, I can finally take a deep breath, get on with my life, and grieve at this time.

Ruthie, I am sorry for your loss. I wish you healing and comfort.

[naturlover_52]

Ruthie....I understand that....what UR going thru....and I am truely sorry for UR loss. I am grieving all the time about MY mom....she was my biggest ally and the glue that held OUR family together. And yes.....it will take a while for the hurt to lessen....JUST take care and take the time to grieve

[Scota_Parisi]

What a day. Four months ago, today.

I know, he was old. And I know he is at rest and at peace and all that blah blah blah. Damned if I'm not angry though. Want him back. Give anything to hear his big feet stomp through the house in the middle of the night.

And that I made that choice.. to end it for him. Hurts.

Remember my daughter saying that day that it felt like her brother had died. And I told her, "far as I'm concerned, he was your brother."

Some days it just.. hits me.

Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks.

[asphaltcowboi]

[QUOTE=JustBeingMe;192689]It's been 9 months since my step father passed and I still have not had time to be able to grieve over his loss. He is a great person that I love very dearly and I miss him. Maybe after next week's crap is over and done with, I can finally take a deep breath, get on with my life, and grieve at this time.

Ruthie, I am sorry for your loss. I wish you healing and comfort.[/QUOTE

please allow yourself to gieve soon. its something that will eat at you until you do.. it did me, no mater how hard i tried to step past it. sorry for you loss as well as the others that have lost a close or loved one its never easy even when you know its coming

[Mtn]

I lost my oldest daughter, 2 days before her 32nd birthday, to ovarian cancer, about 4 months ago, and I am deep in the grief right now....Grief can take one's breath away like nothing else can I have learned....I DO NOT LIKE IT.....

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

My Father passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 2000, and my beloved Grandfather 6 wks later. In November 2009 my Grandmother went to join them, and my Mother....my often imperfect, but always loving Mother passed this last Saturday the 22nd.

I have missed my Father and Grandfather every day since they left, but over time it became a warm glow I carried around with me everywhere I went. I honestly can't say if I will survive the latest loss....I know in my head I have to be here for my daughter and spouse, but the grief, the unending pain in my soul.....

Well I have indeed survived, but I cannot say the grief has become less; different, but not less. I still have such anger at my Mother for smoking and causing her health issues, with a seeming disregard of the people left to grieve. But yet, i have started to really think of her as a "person" and not just my Mom, and I have begun the process of forgiveness finally.

I miss her every day, but I try to think of the good memories now instead of the last years where the hospital and worry became my best friends. I know that in time I will carry her in my heart as a part of who I have become because of her, and every day when I think of her it will be only with love.

[Ginger]

When my sister is angry with me, like she is now, when there is a silence between us my gestures can't fix, I miss my other sister, the one who passed away over ten years ago. She and I would have grown old together. We would have had each other.

[StrongButch]

I still feel the loss. This month is very hard for me. I lost my Dad who was my best friend. Valentines Day 10 years ago was the last time I spoke to him and heard him laugh. Feb 17 I got a call from my Mom in the middle of the night. I rushed to my truck drove several hours and spent the next spent 4 days watching my Dad die. I never left the hospital I said everything I wanted to say to him in those 4 days. On Feb 21 at 3:21 pm my Dad left this life to join his ancestors while I was singing to him. He looked right at me and stopped breathing. I will spend the next few weeks alone remembering and honoring a great father,role model , he was kind,compassionate,loving,caring,patient, a true gentleman. I am honored and blessed to have been your daughter.

[Ginger]

Sad tonight for my girlfriend's father, who is dying tonight, and maybe tomorrow, and maybe for a few days more.

He was so kind to me, the two years I lived with her, and he wrote a sweet letter to me, thanking me for the tea I sent for him and his wife, for Christmas.

I will always feel grateful for his kindness and how much he loved his daughters. What a loving man, it shone through his shyness and introspective ways.

[~ocean]

(((((((((( island U and urs )))))))))))

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by ~ocean

(((((((((( island U and urs )))))))))))

Thank you ocean, you are a sweet woman.

[Kenna]

I was at the greenhouses today, collecting a few veggies and talking about "yellow spot " on tomatoes ...asked if they had any of that "special spray "but I couldn't recall the name ... said I'd have to call Momma D because she'd know ... then it suddenly hit me like a crushing blow that I couldn't call her... ever again. Damn...no words describe the pain I felt at that moment.

[Glenn]

My Dear, Sweet, Kind, and Good, Mama; It's dark, and raining kidneys and bladders here on the lake this morning, just like on the morning you died 13 years ago today, from kidney failure and bladder cancer. But that's all past now. I deliberately went out walking around in it, to show my respect for all the storms we weathered together, and wondering where, and how you are. I am still missing you. I am still helping the poor animals like you taught me to, along with so many other good things you taught me. Yeah, I still like being alone alot, yet, I am still missing you so very much, and I always will.

[not2shygrrl]

missing you.

I got a frame for your pic, you know the one taken with you holding your bounty of blueberries from the bushes in the yard, your bushes.....your yard. That was the last summer for you, and here we are almost 5 years later.......berry harvesting is in its glory and all of your "spots" in the forest have been tagged. Always leaving some for the animals who live in the surroundings, per your request! As I look at your picture, your smile, that goofy hat to keep the sun off of your neck, seeing that sweet face Ma.......feels like I could run into you tomorrow as if you were never gone.......and then I think back.....almost 5 years since I hugged you, kissed your face and said how much I love you.....yea, you are gone and I remember all over again. But your blueberries and currant bushes stay and produce an abundance to provide goodies for loved ones. And I remember you now....always.


love,
number6of10

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

Sad tonight for my girlfriend's father, who is dying tonight, and maybe tomorrow, and maybe for a few days more.

He was so kind to me, the two years I lived with her, and he wrote a sweet letter to me, thanking me for the tea I sent for him and his wife, for Christmas.

I will always feel grateful for his kindness and how much he loved his daughters. What a loving man, it shone through his shyness and introspective ways.

((((((Island)))))))) so sorry to read this , hang in there.

[Queenie]

After my father died 13 years ago someone told me that the pain gets softer. It will always be there, but it just gets softer. It had to be one the best things that anyone has ever told me about death.