What Cracked You Up Today?

Pretty Woman · 05-28-2010, 01:28 PM

Nothing! So far I've had a super stressful, client crazy-making, chaotic day. Maybe that will change.

GoofyLuvr · 05-29-2010, 04:45 PM

1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "GUESS" on it. So I asked "Implants?". She hit me.

2) Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3) How come we choose from just 2 people to run for President and over 50 for Miss America?

4) Now that food has replaced sex in my life I can't even get into my own pants.

5) I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up for the class in the first place!

6) When I was young, we used to go skinny dipping. Now we just chunky dunk.

7) Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

8) Wouldn't it be nice if, whenever we messed up in our lives, we could just hit "Control, Alt, Delete" and start all over again?

9) Wouldn't you know it.... brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Gemme · 05-29-2010, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoofyLuvr

I received a check in the mail the other day. I had been expecting it, but it was much larger than I thought it would be. I was just about doing back flips, I was so excited! So, my friend and I went to try to get it cashed. After many tries, I found out the only way to get it cashed was with a hold placed on the funds. My good mood suddenly went south. I had PLANS for that money!!! My friend looked at me, and said "Now, I know all the red has been licked off your candy, but it will be ok."
I looked at her for a second, digesting what she had just said, then busted out laughing. How could I stay bummed after a comment like that?

After all, we ALL know red is the best flavor!

05-28-2010, 01:28 PM	#1
Pretty Woman Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Trying to be true to myself Join Date: May 2010 Location: New York Posts: 73 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 45 Thanked 171 Times in 56 Posts Rep Power: 17333	Nothing! So far I've had a super stressful, client crazy-making, chaotic day. Maybe that will change. __________________ She packed up her potential and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things

05-29-2010, 04:45 PM	#2
GoofyLuvr Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme :) Preferred Pronoun?: Well golly gee whiz, I bet she would do it! Relationship Status: completely, totally, head over heels in love :) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Maine!!! Posts: 122 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 139 Thanked 162 Times in 53 Posts Rep Power: 163	I received an email today, made me laugh, thought I'd share. It's titled "Life Thoughts By Ducky" 1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "GUESS" on it. So I asked "Implants?". She hit me. 2) Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 3) How come we choose from just 2 people to run for President and over 50 for Miss America? 4) Now that food has replaced sex in my life I can't even get into my own pants. 5) I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up for the class in the first place! 6) When I was young, we used to go skinny dipping. Now we just chunky dunk. 7) Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference. 8) Wouldn't it be nice if, whenever we messed up in our lives, we could just hit "Control, Alt, Delete" and start all over again? 9) Wouldn't you know it.... brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.