OFOS Butches & Femmes

[Bootsandheels]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I do consider myself to be an old school butch, and I definitely think it's wrong for anyone to try to hold something over your head after the fact. Most old school butches I know - including myself - it is our pleasure to pay for a date and definitely not a burden or something to throw back at someone if things don't go our way later.

I also don't think it is just specifically old school or a dating situation. If I pay for something, or give a gift or help someone out in some way it is genuinely because I want to do it and there are no strings attached. I'm not going to complain about something later after the fact when I did it because I wanted to do it in the first place and it was my decision and pleasure to do it. If someone wants double dutch or some other type of dating arrangement then it's their right to express that too, but throwing something back in your face after the fact is definitely rude. So perhaps this person isn't an old school butch, but I also think it is rude no matter how they i.d.

Edit: I also think there could be situations where a butch was very much old school but perhaps had a limited income or some other situation that made it difficult to always pay and there could still be a strong old school dynamic. It is more about how you treat someone and how you conduct yourself, but paying for a date is usually something an old school butch genuinely does take pleasure in when they can do it.

Thank you so much for posting this Bulldog, much appreciated, and thank you for validating me. Your last paragraph was exactly why I was confused, because this pleasure was always evident in other dating situations and I thought it was quite petty. Even though this butch thought she was OFOS, she definitely is not. I am always very sensitive to finances too...and it is more about how you are treated than how much is being spent. It's about the heart and soul...the connection and magic of the dynamic!