OFOS Butches & Femmes

Washingtonienne · 11-01-2017, 07:28 PM

As a femme on wheels, I suppose I have a little bit of a different take on why I'm old school. Growing up with disabilities taught me the stark difference between "coddled" and "loved", and it also taught me to watch for when I was being treated as *too* fragile. First and foremost, I want to be loved, protected, and respected, not mollycoddled as if I were to shatter at any moment. (Hint: I won't.) I need to be able to have a riveting discourse with my butch/transguy, engage my brain, but also know it's okay to ask for help reaching things on the top shelf. Or help with spiders. (I'm hopeless with those.) I like knowing the person I'm with not only remembers how hard we've fought as a community for the rights we have, but I know I can count on to keep fighting the good fight when necessary, and knows that we PwD are still fighting for basic physical access to everyday things like sidewalks. I want to know that if I'm asked out to dinner, I'm not going to get to the restaurant and discover it's inaccessible. That would be already checked.

And, yeah, aesthetics...I like to be free to wear my skirts, dresses, and stilettos, because once upon a time I was chided for my girly choices by others. I wasn't "gay enough" to them -- whatever that means. And finally, YES, I like to be with a butch/transguy who knows how to dress for the occasion -- even if the occasion is just us looking awesome together. A sports coat, a nice shirt, and a little cologne go a loooong way sometimes. A tie goes even farther. A bow tie? Aces.

kittygrrl · 11-01-2017, 11:44 PM

OFOS comes from the heart and soul. It's a manifestation of who you are and what you value..not a rigid set of rules and manners you feel obliged to follow but have no personal belief in...There are various types of relationships and people believe or seek what appeals to them. Labels are convenient but can become destructive if you use them to limit options for yourself or others...Understanding who you are and what you want is comforting and affirming..and if you can find a like minded soul-heaven

Gemme · 11-02-2017, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Double Dutch is a jump rope technique!

Oh, to be young again!

girl_dee · 11-02-2017, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

OFOS comes from the heart and soul. It's a manifestation of who you are and what you value..not a rigid set of rules and manners you feel obliged to follow but have no personal belief in...There are various types of relationships and people believe or seek what appeals to them. Labels are convenient but can become destructive if you use them to limit options for yourself or others...Understanding who you are and what you want is comforting and affirming..and if you can find a like minded soul-heaven

i agree, its the BF dynamic that i am starting to see as Old School

11-01-2017, 11:44 PM	#2
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: gf Relationship Status: Til you believe Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Under Cold Moon Posts: 9,755 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,729 Thanked 22,161 Times in 7,228 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	OFOS comes from the heart and soul. It's a manifestation of who you are and what you value..not a rigid set of rules and manners you feel obliged to follow but have no personal belief in...There are various types of relationships and people believe or seek what appeals to them. Labels are convenient but can become destructive if you use them to limit options for yourself or others...Understanding who you are and what you want is comforting and affirming..and if you can find a like minded soul-heaven __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

11-01-2017, 07:28 PM	#1
Washingtonienne Junior Member How Do You Identify?: •High-Femme Pantastic• Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her/Ms. Join Date: Jun 2017 Location: WNY Posts: 1 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 12 Times in 1 Post Rep Power: 0	As a femme on wheels, I suppose I have a little bit of a different take on why I'm old school. Growing up with disabilities taught me the stark difference between "coddled" and "loved", and it also taught me to watch for when I was being treated as too fragile. First and foremost, I want to be loved, protected, and respected, not mollycoddled as if I were to shatter at any moment. (Hint: I won't.) I need to be able to have a riveting discourse with my butch/transguy, engage my brain, but also know it's okay to ask for help reaching things on the top shelf. Or help with spiders. (I'm hopeless with those.) I like knowing the person I'm with not only remembers how hard we've fought as a community for the rights we have, but I know I can count on to keep fighting the good fight when necessary, and knows that we PwD are still fighting for basic physical access to everyday things like sidewalks. I want to know that if I'm asked out to dinner, I'm not going to get to the restaurant and discover it's inaccessible. That would be already checked. And, yeah, aesthetics...I like to be free to wear my skirts, dresses, and stilettos, because once upon a time I was chided for my girly choices by others. I wasn't "gay enough" to them -- whatever that means. And finally, YES, I like to be with a butch/transguy who knows how to dress for the occasion -- even if the occasion is just us looking awesome together. A sports coat, a nice shirt, and a little cologne go a loooong way sometimes. A tie goes even farther. A bow tie? Aces.