A question for the Femmes

imperfect_cupcake · 12-12-2017, 01:35 AM

Depends on the person.
My friends give me flowers and from some exes it would be fine because they give flowers to their friends as well, for no reason. But some exes, it would be inapropritate because I know how they feel about flowers - for them it's totally tied to "date" and "what butches do for femmes." I wouldn't want flowers from those exes, it would feel like there was something they were trying to say with them that I didn't want to hear.

Esme nha Maire · 12-12-2017, 03:41 AM

I agree with Cupcake, JDeere. If you're the kind of person that likes buying small gifts for friends, then your side of the equation is OK. If your ex is the kind of person who doesnt 'read between the lines' about every darned thing, then her side is OK - if both Ok, buy 'em.

I know if me or my ex bought flowers for the other under the circumstances you describe, either of us would be fine with it. It'd be quite odd coming from her, as she almost never did buy flowers for me, but our partnership died many years ago, and that's not going to rekindle. She also knows that I liek surprising folk with unexpected gofts, so she wouldn;t think anything other than that it would be odd, as I know she doesn't like cut flowers, but she'd appreciate the thought behind the gift.

If she likes cut flowers, and other factors - your personalities, as noted above - don't indicate otherwise, then IMO it'd be a nice gesture. But only you can know whether she;d view a gift of flowers as having an ulterior motive.

JDeere · 12-15-2017, 05:45 AM

Im buying flowers but not roses. To her roses are romantic. A nice bouquet will do.

12-12-2017, 01:35 AM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Depends on the person. My friends give me flowers and from some exes it would be fine because they give flowers to their friends as well, for no reason. But some exes, it would be inapropritate because I know how they feel about flowers - for them it's totally tied to "date" and "what butches do for femmes." I wouldn't want flowers from those exes, it would feel like there was something they were trying to say with them that I didn't want to hear.

12-12-2017, 03:41 AM	#2
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,078 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310770	I agree with Cupcake, JDeere. If you're the kind of person that likes buying small gifts for friends, then your side of the equation is OK. If your ex is the kind of person who doesnt 'read between the lines' about every darned thing, then her side is OK - if both Ok, buy 'em. I know if me or my ex bought flowers for the other under the circumstances you describe, either of us would be fine with it. It'd be quite odd coming from her, as she almost never did buy flowers for me, but our partnership died many years ago, and that's not going to rekindle. She also knows that I liek surprising folk with unexpected gofts, so she wouldn;t think anything other than that it would be odd, as I know she doesn't like cut flowers, but she'd appreciate the thought behind the gift. If she likes cut flowers, and other factors - your personalities, as noted above - don't indicate otherwise, then IMO it'd be a nice gesture. But only you can know whether she;d view a gift of flowers as having an ulterior motive.

12-15-2017, 05:45 AM	#3
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,835 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Im buying flowers but not roses. To her roses are romantic. A nice bouquet will do.