Sex, Gender, or Sexual Orientation

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am pretty sure that I was born Queer...

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am pretty sure that I was born Queer...

I agree Lady Snow. As far back as I can recall I was a big queer. I have no problem looking back and knowing that now. But when I was younger and it was actually happening I was pretty oblivious to my attraction to girls .

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by EzeeTiger

I agree Lady Snow. As far back as I can recall I was a big queer. I have no problem looking back and knowing that now. But when I was younger and it was actually happening I was pretty oblivious to my attraction to girls .

Yanno I gave this A LOT of thought last night as I layed in bed... This is Snow coming from from *MY* experience so therefore I can speak with truth about it.

I chose to be straight so I would be left alone.. I was born queer, as far back as I can remember. I choose to identify my gender as femme, I choose to eat oreos one way, but how I was and have been, that is no choice, it just is.

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Yanno I gave this A LOT of thought last night as I layed in bed... This is Snow coming from from *MY* experience so therefore I can speak with truth about it.

I chose to be straight so I would be left alone.. I was born queer, as far back as I can remember. I choose to identify my gender as femme, I choose to eat oreos one way, but how I was and have been, that is no choice, it just is.

Similarly, I chose to be straight for reasons like I didn't want to upset my very conservative Catholic family, specifically my mother. I made myself emotionally unavailable. I chose not to think about any feeling I might have about myself except for anger. I could do that one, it runs in my family.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I choose to identify my gender as femme, I choose to eat oreos one way, but how I was and have been, that is no choice, it just is.

I think in this way, you and I just have a different structure/organization to the way we think about it?

For me there is a separation between how a person is and how a person IDs. As a person who also feels like I've always been queer, this is how I think about it for myself.

I was born queer - it's a natural part of me and I suspect it's biological whether or not a biological connection can ever be proven.

I can also ID as queer - which is a choice. What would my other choices be? I could choose to be one of those people who refuses to ID, who says, "love is just where you find it." I could hate the term "queer" because somebody called me that once and it made me cry (for example), and so I might embrace some other term that doesn't make me feel bad. Or I could ID as straight, etc. To me the term "ID" definitely has choice involved in it - the choice to own or not own an identity.

So I think what I am hearing (and I would never dare to speak for you because you make me tremble in my boots!) is that you feel that you are queer by nature / queer since birth - and to me that's not a discussion of "ID" as much as it's an honest open observation about your experience.

[The_Lady_Snow]

So what would you say is my ID?

[Nat]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

So what would you say is my ID?

I think I'll cheat and say I think your ID is "Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme."

But I think you are also saying you *are* queer, have always been queer, and that there is no choice in that - that it's who you are and it's deeper than ID.

I hope I'm making sense. :/ These are more the structures I've built inside my own head to make the world make sense, and maybe they only really work inside my head. I don't feel comfortable stating what I think your "ID" is, because it immediately starts to feel like labeling instead. I think your ID is most definitely something you are in charge of.

[The_Lady_Snow]

that you feel that you are queer by nature / queer sense birth - and to me that's not a discussion of "ID" as much as it's an honest open observation about your experience.


Hence why I asked the question...

It confused me I bit I guess cause I thought I was discussing my ID.

Make sense?

[Nat]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

that you feel that you are queer by nature / queer sense birth - and to me that's not a discussion of "ID" as much as it's an honest open observation about your experience.


Hence why I asked the question...

It confused me I bit I guess cause I thought I was discussing my ID.

Make sense?

Hee yes. I do apologize if I invaded your ID.

I was responding mostly to the conversation between Ezeetiger and andrew and linus about whether ID was a choice or not, which I felt came down to a difference in definitions of "id", and since the OP was talking about people having different understandings and how that makes it difficult to clearly communicate with each other, I was trying my best to explain what I see as the difference between experience and ID.

Originally Posted by Darth Denkay

I've noticed a commonality that runs through many of the threads. We use identity labels as we understand them, but we don't understand them all the same, which makes it difficult for us to clearly communicate with each other.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Nat

Hee yes. I do apologize if I invaded your ID.

I was responding mostly to the conversation between eztiger and andrew and linus about whether ID was a choice or not, which I felt came down to a difference in definitions of "id", and since the OP was talking about people having different understandings and how that makes it difficult to clearly communicate with each other, I was trying my best to explain what I see as the difference between experience and ID.

Ahhhhhhhh ok!!

Thank you so much for clarifying that for me!!!