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Old 07-17-2018, 11:32 AM   #1
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Also the community makes you feel unwelcome, if your b/b as well.
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Old 07-17-2018, 11:57 AM   #2
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Also the community makes you feel unwelcome, if your b/b as well.
If you're talking about this community, I don't think that's true. The site promotes butch, femme and everything else. There are times people (may) seem intolerant but it's usually because they don't understand or are fearful. Everyone is capable of growing and changing in time.. Sometimes we just have to be patient and love them anyway.
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Old 07-17-2018, 12:00 PM   #3
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If you're talking about this community, I don't think that's true. But, the site promotes butch and femme and everything else. There are times people (may) seem intolerant but it's usually because they don't understand or are fearful. Everyone is capable of growing and changing in time.. Sometimes we just have to be patient and love them anyway.
In general, online and offline. Online yeah it's made known that it's frowned upon and feels unwelcoming. Offline I see the looks and stares as well as hearing the talk. Noone should feel unwelcome in the GLTBQI community.
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Old 07-17-2018, 12:09 PM   #4
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In general, online and offline. Online yeah it's made known that it's frowned upon and feels unwelcoming. Offline I see the looks and stares as well as hearing the talk. Noone should feel unwelcome in the GLTBQI community.
J, it's funny you should say that because when i was younger i never knew b/f existed..every couple i saw was b/b and as a femme i was made to feel i was unwelcome and even told i didn't belong...so you see, meaness, indifference and ignorance..exists everywhere in different spaces and times depending..take heart it will change where you are someday..probably sooner then later..in the meantime when you get a stare, give them back a smile or a wave..you will feel better and just maybe you will make them pause and rethink
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:11 PM   #5
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J, it's funny you should say that because when i was younger i never knew b/f existed..every couple i saw was b/b and as a femme i was made to feel i was unwelcome and even told i didn't belong...so you see, meaness, indifference and ignorance..exists everywhere in different spaces and times depending..take heart it will change where you are someday..probably sooner then later..in the meantime when you get a stare, give them back a smile or a wave..you will feel better and just maybe you will make them pause and rethink

I date all over the spectrum. Butch, femme, ftm, mtf. I go out often and really people watch, like detailed watching. I see mannerisms, etc and know who possibly to avoid, im not worried about myself mainly the younger crowd as well as the newly out younger ones, to hopefully they wont feel unwelcome.
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:59 PM   #6
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I date all over the spectrum. Butch, femme, ftm, mtf. I go out often and really people watch, like detailed watching. I see mannerisms, etc and know who possibly to avoid, im not worried about myself mainly the younger crowd as well as the newly out younger ones, to hopefully they wont feel unwelcome.
J, I've always thought you quite young but very confident..i wish i'd had your mad skills when i was your age..
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Old 07-17-2018, 03:08 PM   #7
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J, I've always thought you quite young but very confident..i wish i'd had your mad skills when i was your age..
Thank you, I'm 41 so not that young LOL

Anyways, at a young age like 8 or so, I learned from my gram to read people in different ways and being a stickler for details as well as obsessive about things, helps me decided about issues.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:14 PM   #8
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I can appreciate that ... dating across the spectrum. Why not?!

As I sit and recollect ... my only dating femmes may have been due to the fact that that's how it was way back when. The menu in those days was UBER small and social norms, even in the LGB* community, did influence one's behavior.


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I date all over the spectrum. Butch, femme, ftm, mtf. I go out often and really people watch, like detailed watching. I see mannerisms, etc and know who possibly to avoid, im not worried about myself mainly the younger crowd as well as the newly out younger ones, to hopefully they wont feel unwelcome.
*TQ hadn't been added yet.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:47 PM   #9
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I can appreciate that ... dating across the spectrum. Why not?!

As I sit and recollect ... my only dating femmes may have been due to the fact that that's how it was way back when. The menu in those days was UBER small and social norms, even in the LGB* community, did influence one's behavior.




*TQ hadn't been added yet.
I don't discriminate when it comes to love lol
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Old 07-17-2018, 03:51 PM   #10
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Seriously? That's wrong as well as ridiculous!

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Also the community makes you feel unwelcome, if your b/b as well.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:02 PM   #11
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Seriously? That's wrong as well as ridiculous!
Yes, it is horrible and ridiculous.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:28 PM   #12
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I believe the moment each of us came out of whichever proverbial closet that we were in… Was the first moment we started living our lives like it was the only one we had. 'Those people' with their 'opinions' don't sleep in your bed, or live in your head and heart - soooo they don't get vote in how you live YOUR life. Look for your own happy JDeere..

As the lovely Ms Roberts once said.. I would rather have 30 minutes of "wonderful" than a lifetime of nothing special.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:49 PM   #13
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I believe the moment each of us came out of whichever proverbial closet that we were in… Was the first moment we started living our lives like it was the only one we had. 'Those people' with their 'opinions' don't sleep in your bed, or live in your head and heart - soooo they don't get vote in how you live YOUR life. Look for your own happy JDeere..

As the lovely Ms Roberts once said.. I would rather have 30 minutes of "wonderful" than a lifetime of nothing special.


Honestly i wasnt making it about me, just using myself as an example of what I've seen and heard.... Plus i see newbies on here that have posted in this thread, i can't think how to word it, shocked maybe that b on b is frowned upon by some.
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Old 07-17-2018, 06:47 PM   #14
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Life is WAY to short to worry about how someone identifies.....it's about finding someone who complements your life. Love is love, it should never matter how someone identifies, what color they are, how much money they make or what sex they are.

I guess call me a romantic.*shrugs*
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Old 07-17-2018, 10:43 PM   #15
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Life is WAY to short to worry about how someone identifies.....it's about finding someone who complements your life. Love is love, it should never matter how someone identifies, what color they are, how much money they make or what sex they are.

I guess call me a romantic.*shrugs*
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