How Do You 'Let Go' of Your Kids?

Bit · 11-25-2009, 01:49 PM

Whoa....... he doesn't want to go but he feels he has to...... Okay that is very valuable input and I will slant my energy to keeping him protected AND to easing his guilt. Forgive me, Words, if I don't have much to spare for your pain but right now I think his safety is paramount, yes? And what I have, I think must go to him.

Words · 11-25-2009, 02:15 PM

Thank you Bit.

Bit · 11-25-2009, 03:15 PM

Any time, hon. This is a truly serious issue and I cannot guarantee that we'll get the results we want, yanno? It's like having a child who decides to become a police officer... it's damned dangerous and there's no guarantee that our positive energy will grant perfect safety.

On the other hand, I am certainly willing to try! And I think if you take Julie's words to heart and tell him that if he is mature enough to go live in Israel he is also mature enough to stay in touch with you, it might ease enough of your pain to allow you to keep going.

Words · 11-29-2009, 02:42 PM

B. is on Hys way back from the airport as I write. As much as I wanted to go with them, I just couldn't (mainly for fear that the stress of saying goodbye, and in such a public place to boot, would bring on an asthma attack...last thing I wanted was my boy to go with the memory of his mom gasping for breath).

Anyway, it's been a rough - understatement of the year - few days. B. though is of the same opinion that I am - that it won't be long before my boy decides to come home. (I have this dream right now of him turning up unexpectedly just before Christmas...not likely to happen, but it can't hurt to hope.) He obviously didn't want to go and it really did seem at times that he wouldn't go, right up until just before he left. Plus, he actually told B. at the airport - B. just phoned to tell me - that he didn't want to go but ''needed'' to go for a few weeks. I have no idea what's going on, but I do know my boy loves me, and B., and his sister, and that he knows, beyond any doubt, that we love him in return. And that, in itself, gives me comfort.

I do want to thank you again though for the support. I've been telling myself over and over again the past few days, just think yourself lucky that he's not one of those 18-year-olds in Afghanistan, just think how their mothers must be feeling. Or the mothers on here (and elsewhere) who will never see their children again. Or, for that matter, any mother, anywhere in the world, whose child is sick, or dying, or dead. Still though, it hurts. And still, I am, in a kind of way, grieving. This thread though - parts of which I actually read to my son - has helped me immensely and I am so very grateful, not only to those who have posted, but to Medusa and Jack for giving me somewhere I can feel safe enough to ask for help at a time when I've never needed it more.

Thank you.

Words

Julie · 11-29-2009, 08:28 PM

Words...

Sending you love and support... Your baby will be home soon, for whatever his reasons are, he needs this journey -- but he will be home soon, he really has not even left. Apparent by what B has said.

With Love,
Julie

Bit · 11-30-2009, 12:44 AM

Couldn't go to bed without checking back here... {{{{{{{{{{{{Words}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thank you for the update. I was just wondering this morning (Sunday for me) how things were going, so I'm glad you had posted today.

We are both sending love and positive energy, and I am continuing to pray for his safety to his God as well as my own.

I'm sure this has GOT to be one of the hardest things any parent could go through; no, he isn't a soldier in a war zone, exactly... but he IS walking into danger all the same. May All-That-Is grant him safety, and grant you peace.

jelli · 07-11-2011, 10:09 AM

We have experienced this several times over and I don't believe it ever gets easy to "let go".

On the flip side, if/when they ever need to move back home again... that can bring about a whole different set of feelings and changes.

Good luck to all parents out there!

Lizzy · 08-15-2011, 06:24 PM

I am so sorry to hear your going through this.As I read this post I started to get really emotional as I know as a mother nothing is more painful than the thought of her child being in harms way in any form.I will keep your son in my thoughts and prayers.

07-11-2011, 10:09 AM	#7
jelli Member How Do You Identify?: Femmilicious Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: And you said I wasn’t your type!!! Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: SC Posts: 836 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,758 Thanked 1,079 Times in 377 Posts Rep Power: 16588548	Teens We have experienced this several times over and I don't believe it ever gets easy to "let go". On the flip side, if/when they ever need to move back home again... that can bring about a whole different set of feelings and changes. Good luck to all parents out there! __________________ “Sometimes we make the right decision; sometimes we make the decision right.” “Every conflict is a lesson in self-discovery for both of us. Sometimes it's only hindsight that makes it worth it. For you, I would do it all again.“

08-15-2011, 06:24 PM	#8
Lizzy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: California Posts: 63 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 62 Thanked 155 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 940029	A mother's love I am so sorry to hear your going through this.As I read this post I started to get really emotional as I know as a mother nothing is more painful than the thought of her child being in harms way in any form.I will keep your son in my thoughts and prayers. __________________ Well behaved women rarely make history http://i871.photobucket.com/albums/a...86/lizzy-1.gif

11-25-2009, 01:49 PM	#1
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	Whoa....... he doesn't want to go but he feels he has to...... Okay that is very valuable input and I will slant my energy to keeping him protected AND to easing his guilt. Forgive me, Words, if I don't have much to spare for your pain but right now I think his safety is paramount, yes? And what I have, I think must go to him.

11-25-2009, 02:15 PM	#2
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,259 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Thank you Bit.

11-25-2009, 03:15 PM	#3
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	Any time, hon. This is a truly serious issue and I cannot guarantee that we'll get the results we want, yanno? It's like having a child who decides to become a police officer... it's damned dangerous and there's no guarantee that our positive energy will grant perfect safety. On the other hand, I am certainly willing to try! And I think if you take Julie's words to heart and tell him that if he is mature enough to go live in Israel he is also mature enough to stay in touch with you, it might ease enough of your pain to allow you to keep going.

11-29-2009, 02:42 PM	#4
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,259 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	B. is on Hys way back from the airport as I write. As much as I wanted to go with them, I just couldn't (mainly for fear that the stress of saying goodbye, and in such a public place to boot, would bring on an asthma attack...last thing I wanted was my boy to go with the memory of his mom gasping for breath). Anyway, it's been a rough - understatement of the year - few days. B. though is of the same opinion that I am - that it won't be long before my boy decides to come home. (I have this dream right now of him turning up unexpectedly just before Christmas...not likely to happen, but it can't hurt to hope.) He obviously didn't want to go and it really did seem at times that he wouldn't go, right up until just before he left. Plus, he actually told B. at the airport - B. just phoned to tell me - that he didn't want to go but ''needed'' to go for a few weeks. I have no idea what's going on, but I do know my boy loves me, and B., and his sister, and that he knows, beyond any doubt, that we love him in return. And that, in itself, gives me comfort. I do want to thank you again though for the support. I've been telling myself over and over again the past few days, just think yourself lucky that he's not one of those 18-year-olds in Afghanistan, just think how their mothers must be feeling. Or the mothers on here (and elsewhere) who will never see their children again. Or, for that matter, any mother, anywhere in the world, whose child is sick, or dying, or dead. Still though, it hurts. And still, I am, in a kind of way, grieving. This thread though - parts of which I actually read to my son - has helped me immensely and I am so very grateful, not only to those who have posted, but to Medusa and Jack for giving me somewhere I can feel safe enough to ask for help at a time when I've never needed it more. Thank you. Words

11-29-2009, 08:28 PM	#5
Julie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch * Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4,674 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,676 Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Words... Sending you love and support... Your baby will be home soon, for whatever his reasons are, he needs this journey -- but he will be home soon, he really has not even left. Apparent by what B has said. With Love, Julie

11-30-2009, 12:44 AM	#6
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	Couldn't go to bed without checking back here... {{{{{{{{{{{{Words}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thank you for the update. I was just wondering this morning (Sunday for me) how things were going, so I'm glad you had posted today. We are both sending love and positive energy, and I am continuing to pray for his safety to his God as well as my own. I'm sure this has GOT to be one of the hardest things any parent could go through; no, he isn't a soldier in a war zone, exactly... but he IS walking into danger all the same. May All-That-Is grant him safety, and grant you peace.