Corny jokes

Stone-Butch · 04-10-2020, 06:14 PM

What mysterious thing did the astronaut see in the pan?
An unidentified frying object.

Why was night baseball invented?
Cause bats fly at night.

Where do ghosts get their mail?
At the ghost office.

What would you get if you crossed a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.

homoe · 04-10-2020, 06:39 PM

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or Twist?"

OK maybe not so corny, but definitely cute...

homoe · 04-10-2020, 06:40 PM

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says, "OK, but I don't want you starting anything in here."

homoe · 04-10-2020, 06:42 PM

~~~
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A. Spectre · 04-23-2020, 08:19 AM

* A woman calls the fire department screaming that her house is on fire.

The fireman asks “how do we get there”?
The woman says, “why don’t you still have those big fire trucks”?

* Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

* Did you already hear about the zoo that only has a dog?

It was a Shih-tzu

* Why do scuba divers always fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.

* Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store.

charley · 04-24-2020, 08:29 AM

Because of the Coronavirus and being shut down for a month, the Vancouver Aquarium is now facing bankruptcy

The above is actually happening now here in B.C. as per:

https://globalnews.ca/news/6825917/v...irus-shutdown/

"Ocean Wise, which operates the facility, has applied to governments for $9.5 million, but has not heard back yet."

Perhaps, the Vancouver Aquarium could get help from a loan shark.

Kätzchen · 04-24-2020, 11:24 AM

Q: Why was the little Strawberry crying?
A: His mom was in a jam.

Q: Who earns a living while driving their customers away?
A: A Taxi driver.

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match.

04-10-2020, 06:14 PM	#1
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,228 Thanked 9,293 Times in 3,001 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Corny Jokes What mysterious thing did the astronaut see in the pan? An unidentified frying object. Why was night baseball invented? Cause bats fly at night. Where do ghosts get their mail? At the ghost office. What would you get if you crossed a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.

04-23-2020, 08:19 AM	#5
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,067 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	* A woman calls the fire department screaming that her house is on fire. The fireman asks “how do we get there”? The woman says, “why don’t you still have those big fire trucks”? * Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months. * Did you already hear about the zoo that only has a dog? It was a Shih-tzu * Why do scuba divers always fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat. * Where do animals go when their tails fall off? The retail store. __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

04-24-2020, 08:29 AM	#6
charley Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: gentle stonebutch [vanilla] Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: canada Posts: 497 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 906 Thanked 1,204 Times in 422 Posts Rep Power: 0	Vancouver Aquarium faces bankruptcy Because of the Coronavirus and being shut down for a month, the Vancouver Aquarium is now facing bankruptcy The above is actually happening now here in B.C. as per: https://globalnews.ca/news/6825917/v...irus-shutdown/ "Ocean Wise, which operates the facility, has applied to governments for $9.5 million, but has not heard back yet." Perhaps, the Vancouver Aquarium could get help from a loan shark.

04-24-2020, 11:24 AM	#7
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ Posts: 16,060 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,111 Thanked 33,517 Times in 10,643 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Q: Why was the little Strawberry crying? A: His mom was in a jam. Q: Who earns a living while driving their customers away? A: A Taxi driver. Q: What lights up a soccer stadium? A: A soccer match. __________________ “If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke.

04-10-2020, 06:39 PM	#2
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,558 Times in 14,919 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or Twist?" OK maybe not so corny, but definitely cute...

04-10-2020, 06:40 PM	#3
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,558 Times in 14,919 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says, "OK, but I don't want you starting anything in here."

04-10-2020, 06:42 PM	#4
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,558 Times in 14,919 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	~~~ A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"