Corny jokes

A. Spectre · 06-05-2020, 06:23 AM

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.....

She told me to stop going to those places!

Kätzchen · 06-05-2020, 09:11 PM

Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree?

A: By their bark.

Q: How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

A: You rocket.

Q: How do you know the moon is going broke?

A: When it's down to its last quarter.

homoe · 06-06-2020, 07:14 AM

~~~
How did the picture end up in jail?

It was framed

homoe · 06-06-2020, 07:18 AM

~~~~~
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can't tell me that's just a coincidence!

Bèsame* · 06-06-2020, 08:01 AM

You won't believe this...but...
Pretzels are knot bread.

Kätzchen · 06-06-2020, 09:11 AM

My two son's absolutely went GaGa for the Toy Story characters, Buzz Lightyear and Woody, years ago.
Here is a few clean jokes that I think are so cute.

Q: Why is Buzz Lightyear so good at Maths?

A: Because he can count to infinity and beyond.

Q: What kind of music does Buzz Lightyear listen to?

A: Neptunes.

Q: What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy?

A: You've got a friend in me.

Q: Why is Jesse undefeated in Darts?

A: Because she always hits the bullseye.

Q: Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school on the sun?

A: To get brighter.

Q: What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?

A: Comet books.

Q: Where is Woody directing his new film, called "The Sun"?

A: It's set in the west.

Q: What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear?

A: A lot. There were 3 Toy Story movies.

homoe · 06-06-2020, 01:41 PM

~~~~
Concerned that he might have put on a few pounds, my husband exited the bathroom and asked, “Do you think my chin is getting fat?” I smiled lovingly and replied, “Which one?”

06-05-2020, 06:23 AM	#1
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,075 Times in 1,495 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places..... She told me to stop going to those places! __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

06-05-2020, 09:11 PM	#2
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Relationship Status: Attached to my granddaughter & chosen friends and family.. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Enjoying life @ home ツ Posts: 16,107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,744 Thanked 33,534 Times in 10,656 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Q: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree? A: By their bark. Q: How do you put a baby alien to sleep? A: You rocket. Q: How do you know the moon is going broke? A: When it's down to its last quarter. __________________ “Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat and taking Tartar sauce with you,” — Zig Ziglar.

06-06-2020, 08:01 AM	#5
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,383 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,120 Thanked 40,947 Times in 10,734 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	You won't believe this...but... Pretzels are knot bread. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

06-06-2020, 09:11 AM	#6
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, please. Relationship Status: Attached to my granddaughter & chosen friends and family.. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Enjoying life @ home ツ Posts: 16,107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,744 Thanked 33,534 Times in 10,656 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	The Toy Story Edition My two son's absolutely went GaGa for the Toy Story characters, Buzz Lightyear and Woody, years ago. Here is a few clean jokes that I think are so cute. Q: Why is Buzz Lightyear so good at Maths? A: Because he can count to infinity and beyond. Q: What kind of music does Buzz Lightyear listen to? A: Neptunes. Q: What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy? A: You've got a friend in me. Q: Why is Jesse undefeated in Darts? A: Because she always hits the bullseye. Q: Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school on the sun? A: To get brighter. Q: What does Buzz Lightyear like to read? A: Comet books. Q: Where is Woody directing his new film, called "The Sun"? A: It's set in the west. Q: What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear? A: A lot. There were 3 Toy Story movies. __________________ “Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat and taking Tartar sauce with you,” — Zig Ziglar.

06-06-2020, 07:14 AM	#3
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,549 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	~~~ How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed

06-06-2020, 07:18 AM	#4
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,549 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	~~~~~ Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can't tell me that's just a coincidence!

06-06-2020, 01:41 PM	#7
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,549 Times in 14,914 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	~~~~ Concerned that he might have put on a few pounds, my husband exited the bathroom and asked, “Do you think my chin is getting fat?” I smiled lovingly and replied, “Which one?”