What is on your mind

[homoe]

~~
Oh just life in general.......

[Orema]

THE CONDO
Have pulled my place off the market. Don’t want people tramplin’ in and out the femme cave during the holidays or during this lock-down. Will probably connect with differemt realtor after the new year. Just want to chill for the next couple weeks.

CANNA-BUTTER/OIL
Haven’t loss much weight this month but havnen’t gained. Wanted to use up some canna-butter and have been baking more than usual. Should probably freeze some of these keto goods instead of munching on them. Hope they taste good when thawed. Will start making canna-oil with coconut oil. That’s more useful than the butter. I no longer use the butter to sleep and the oil can be used for things other than edibles.

THE VACCINE
I’m gonna take it but I’m leery as fuck. Don’t like being the first on the medicine front, but I want to be protected. I’ll get it after my doctor gets it.

A KITTY
Of course I want a kitty now, but I know I should wait till I move because it will be easier for everyone—especially the kitty. I’ve been without one for this long so I can wait a little longer.

[clementinefemme]

Excited to see my family in a few days, but I'm nervous about traveling - more for their health and safety than mine.

[C0LLETTE]

WHO THE FUCK IS " Rubbervbk " from Russia ?

In fact, who are all those other many names that I am prevented from accessing whose nics i am blocked from checking out

Blast me if you will but when I am the only member in here with some 300 "guests" or Unidentified" persons in here, i get queasy abt my security.

Please understand me, Admin-Medusa , I appreciate the cost and responsibility you have faithfully undertaken here but also also please also accept that if you claim this to be a "community",even if it were to be entirely supported by you (both in cash and effort ), it is necessary to accept the diversities of opinion (even when they are rudely at odds with each other---otherwise it's just maudlin echoes , so why bother..... one statement and a "thank you " would be enough.).



I suspect the site loses a great many more members because of making increasing voices become "polite" and, sometimes, agreeably female, than for extreme diversity. For every person who comes here for a lovely calming foccacia recipe, I suspect there is a loss of 1.5 members who would rather have a meaty sexy or politically hot convo.

Maybe it's time to jack it up and let blood flow into member's brains or choose to just sit here and watch it fall asleep.

ooops I think I hear the faint strains of dying-swan-music off-stage.

As they say in Show Business: Just My Humble Opinion.

[~ocean]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

WHO THE FUCK IS " Rubbervbk " from Russia ?

In fact, who are all those other many names that I am prevented from accessing whose nics i am blocked from checking out

Blast me if you will but when I am the only member in here with some 300 "guests" or Unidentified" persons in here, i get queasy abt my security.

Please understand me, Admin-Medusa , I appreciate the cost and responsibility you have faithfully undertaken here but also also please also accept that if you claim this to be a "community",even if it were to be entirely supported by you (both in cash and effort ), it is necessary to accept the diversities of opinion (even when they are rudely at odds with each other---otherwise it's just maudlin echoes , so why bother..... one statement and a "thank you " would be enough.).



I suspect the site loses a great many more members because of making increasing voices become "polite" and, sometimes, agreeably female, than for extreme diversity. For every person who comes here for a lovely calming foccacia recipe, I suspect there is a loss of 1.5 members who would rather have a meaty sexy or politically hot convo.

Maybe it's time to jack it up and let blood flow into member's brains or choose to just sit here and watch it fall asleep.

ooops I think I hear the faint strains of dying-swan-music off-stage.

As they say in Show Business: Just My Humble Opinion.

A very intelligent post Collette ~ but as you know not all people can accept one's comments or "humble opinion's" as just that . Most people can't control the difference of "difference's ", with out over reacting ~ so they need to be monitored. I would not want to be that person who has to stand in judgement or what is right or wrong ~ I appreciate the differences. I learn from other's concepts. We all can learn or just accept. Keep thinking ~ it kicks out the dust lol

[C0LLETTE]

Want to differ, differ. Want to explode, explode. Can't stand the explosion, put it all on ignore.

You do actually have that option but the option you should not have is to tell other ppl to stfu or to not to explode in opinion just cause it "offends " you.

The Admin (Site Owner ) can do that but then it becomes a question of the degree of "community" a site becomes.

Surely there is a degree of accommodation that can be made to continue vitality, if that is in any way a desirable goal.

If one thread goes off the rails, you can always move to another but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to allow what happens in one thread to define everything else. As soon as people stop jumping in, that thread dies of lack of oxygen but ppl did get to vent out their thoughts and what's unhealthy about that.

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

WHO THE FUCK IS " Rubbervbk " from Russia ?

In fact, who are all those other many names that I am prevented from accessing whose nics i am blocked from checking out

Blast me if you will but when I am the only member in here with some 300 "guests" or Unidentified" persons in here, i get queasy abt my security.

Please understand me, Admin-Medusa , I appreciate the cost and responsibility you have faithfully undertaken here but also also please also accept that if you claim this to be a "community",even if it were to be entirely supported by you (both in cash and effort ), it is necessary to accept the diversities of opinion (even when they are rudely at odds with each other---otherwise it's just maudlin echoes , so why bother..... one statement and a "thank you " would be enough.).



I suspect the site loses a great many more members because of making increasing voices become "polite" and, sometimes, agreeably female, than for extreme diversity. For every person who comes here for a lovely calming foccacia recipe, I suspect there is a loss of 1.5 members who would rather have a meaty sexy or politically hot convo.

Maybe it's time to jack it up and let blood flow into member's brains or choose to just sit here and watch it fall asleep.

ooops I think I hear the faint strains of dying-swan-music off-stage.

As they say in Show Business: Just My Humble Opinion.

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Want to differ, differ. Want to explode, explode. Can't stand the explosion, put it all on ignore.

You do actually have that option but the option you should not have is to tell other ppl to stfu or to not to explode in opinion just cause it "offends " you.

The Admin (Site Owner ) can do that but then it becomes a question of the degree of "community" a site becomes.

Surely there is a degree of accommodation that can be made to continue vitality, if that is in any way a desirable goal.

If one thread goes off the rails, you can always move to another but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to allow what happens in one thread to define everything else. As soon as people stop jumping in, that thread dies of lack of oxygen but ppl did get to vent out their thoughts and what's unhealthy about that.

Before you get kicked in the head I just want to say thank you. This needs to be said, stopping by four times a day just to be disappointed is pretty old. The old days were contentious but worth it for interesting conversation on a range of topics beyond “what’s for dinner”.

Last night I was on YouTube looking for anything on the topic of “Butch“ I posted that result in a different thread. Interestingly, I ran across a video from a few years ago made by an old member from this site. I remember how much I disliked her and in fact locked horns with her a couple of times both in the threads and in private message. It made me remember how aggravated I would get and how engaged I was with that community. I also learned a lot about things I never would’ve encountered anywhere else.

I don’t know that any of that is salvageable, just as it seems that the days of the butch/femme dynamic are gone. But having a place to post opinions on topics that are not part of main stream conversation away from the prying eyes of bosses and Auntie Pearl on Facebook would seem to still have some value. I may be wrong because I am not involved in other social media maybe it’s all just in private groups and that’s how it works now.

Musings of an old bulldagger…

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Kelt

Before you get kicked in the head I just want to say thank you. This needs to be said, stopping by four times a day just to be disappointed is pretty old. The old days were contentious but worth it for interesting conversation on a range of topics beyond “what’s for dinner”.

Last night I was on YouTube looking for anything on the topic of “Butch“ I posted that result in a different thread. Interestingly, I ran across a video from a few years ago made by an old member from this site. I remember how much I disliked her and in fact locked horns with her a couple of times both in the threads and in private message. It made me remember how aggravated I would get and how engaged I was with that community. I also learned a lot about things I never would’ve encountered anywhere else.

I don’t know that any of that is salvageable, just as it seems that the days of the butch/femme dynamic are gone. But having a place to post opinions on topics that are not part of main stream conversation away from the prying eyes of bosses and Auntie Pearl on Facebook would seem to still have some value. I may be wrong because I am not involved in other social media maybe it’s all just in private groups and that’s how it works now.

Musings of an old bulldagger…

I wonder why people have stopped talking. Maybe all the older folks are all talked out and the younger folks are not interested in interacting in this way. Maybe it's private groups but I haven't found any that are active like this place was at one time. I know the butch/femme dynamic is not celebrated like it once was but there has to be butches and femmes around somewhere. I mean where did they all go? No next generation? We have died out like dinosaurs? Extinct? I mean we don't even have conversations about our imminent extinction and what happened. Where have all the butches gone?

Even if we don't want to talk about the butch/femme dynamic anymore we must have something to discuss. I mean beyond what we had for dinner and such. Maybe group conversations have gone the way of butches and the b-f dynamic. I doubt it's because we have to treat each other with respect when we argue. I mean we always had to do that. There never was a free for all on this site and people still talked plenty and argued plenty. But maybe they have all joined an online fight club. We can't find it because the first rule of online fight club is you don't talk about online fight club.

[~ocean]

One of my theory's in life I taught my daughters was that acceptance leaves room for forgiveness. It was what I practiced for strength to get through my childhood. I recognized acceptance from my education in private catholic schools . It wasn't from the bible or the teachers from nun's or priests. It was from quite the opposite ~ not wanting to be like they were. Non accepting , double standards . etc. School wasn't the only reason I felt the need to seek inner comfort and understanding. Integrity runs parallel with self confidence . With a closed mouth and open eyes you just know . Never to be confused with egotistical behavior. You can't see someone from the inside out when your focused on the outside. This is the time we have learned to hug one another , it being virtual let's everyone in , most are too shy or timid to make that gesture, I want to say ((((((( everyone ))))))))) I love people and I love all of you in OUR own community .

[easygoingfemme]

SNOW. We got like 2 feet of snow overnight and it's still coming down. It's over the top of my porch at this point.

My daughter- I like that we are both super early risers. She's in her own apartment now but we had fun texting about work/snow/wtf stuff at 5am.

COVID- we had another resident at work test positive yesterday but she hadn't been home in 10 days so I hope that means we avoid another quarantine. Quarantine when you live in a very small room and have to stage out sharing bathrooms and kitchen with 45 other women is a nightmare. For them to live and for me to manage.

Woodworking: I'm learning a lot and I LOVE IT. I'm becoming the woman who wakes before the sun to turn on NPR and start making sawdust. I have so many ideas and things I want to make.

Stay safe, everyone. Snow, COVID, the rest of the world. Stay safe please.

[Cin]

This is on my mind.

It seems that many people believe that diversity of opinion inevitably leads to rude interactions and nasty comments. I have never thought that was necessarily a given. Nor have I believed that a polite voice cannot be a dissenting voice. I don't have to be an asshole to disagree with something and to make my opinion understood. Of course there are some people who hear dissenting opinions as nasty comments. And the clearer you are and the more sense you make the more some people hear your words as disagreeable and nasty. There's really nothing that can be done about that. But most people can hear an opposing opinion without crumbling or resorting to mean and angry responses. I agree that it does take more effort to find polite ways to say I don't agree with you at all and here is why than it does to simply say you are wrong and what you're saying is stupid. It takes effort and commitment to find legitimate reasons why you believe someone's opinions are wrong. And it takes a desire to be civil to find ways to express those reasons that don't insinuate the person is stupid or horrible for having a different opinion than you do. I have noticed that some people simply turn a specific comment into something generic and say I read stuff that say that and i think it's stupid. It's an almost polite why of calling you stupid while getting around the TOS. I never believe that calling something stupid is a justification for why it isn't a legitimate opinion. A person should have valid reasons for the opinions they hold. If you are going to disagree with someone you should at least respect them enough as a human being to put a little time and effort into explaining why you disagree and not just say it's stupid.

As far as where all the deep and meaningful conversations have gone here on this site I have no idea. But I don't believe having to express yourself respectfully is the reason these conversations are far and few in between.

[Kätzchen]

I hope no one forgets the past four years of power-grabbing hostile, deranged type personalities who nearly destroyed democracy in America by relentlessly feeding mis/dis-information to people who are willing to believe lies over truth or believe fiction over fact.

And I am forever grateful that there are people out there who invest in the best interest of others.

[Bèsame*]

Looking forward to this...

[~ocean]

thank you Besame ~ good movie

[clementinefemme]

Wow visiting my family makes me want a family of my own... why is my biological clock doing this to me in the middle of my master's program while 1000% single lol

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by clementinefemme

Wow visiting my family makes me want a family of my own... why is my biological clock doing this to me in the middle of my master's program while 1000% single lol

As an older friend who was a mother told me when I started feeling this way: "Your biological clock will stop doing this to you in a few years. On the other hand, if you have kids, you will have them for the rest of your life."

I chose to get a tattoo instead of kids.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by Cin

I wonder why people have stopped talking. Maybe all the older folks are all talked out and the younger folks are not interested in interacting in this way. Maybe it's private groups but I haven't found any that are active like this place was at one time. I know the butch/femme dynamic is not celebrated like it once was but there has to be butches and femmes around somewhere. I mean where did they all go? No next generation? We have died out like dinosaurs? Extinct? I mean we don't even have conversations about our imminent extinction and what happened. Where have all the butches gone?

It seems to me that all the women who would have id'ed as butch in the past have now decided that they must be transgender. I don't know what's going on with the femmes - they're probably all wearing lululemons now if they have to go out and wearing pajamas all day with no make up while they work at home. I'm being kind of sarcastic, but . . . not really. My high femme days are few and far between. I think the pandemic is contributing to the demise of the butch/femme community.

I had hoped that the pandemic would actually bring our community closer, trapped in front of our computers as we all are now. But it doesn't seem to have worked out that way.

[Wrang1er]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am

It seems to me that all the women who would have id'ed as butch in the past have now decided that they must be transgender. I don't know what's going on with the femmes - they're probably all wearing lululemons now if they have to go out and wearing pajamas all day with no make up while they work at home. I'm being kind of sarcastic, but . . . not really. My high femme days are few and far between. I think the pandemic is contributing to the demise of the butch/femme community.

I had hoped that the pandemic would actually bring our community closer, trapped in front of our computers as we all are now. But it doesn't seem to have worked out that way.

Still here. Still butch.

I can only speak for myself but this year has been one big kick in the gut. I sank into myself for a good part of it. I was never a frequent contributor but would pipe up on occasion. It seems that with the disappearance of chat and many of the regular Planeteers the fluff threads are all that remain. Even my dinners have gotten too boring to post about.

[easygoingfemme]

Still here. Still Femme. Still getting dressed for work every day. Except for yesterday's snow day. My partner is as butch as ever which is about 100% max. So that speaks for my two people in the world. I agree, things are blending, a lot of folks transitioning- which- I'm glad they have the opportunity to do so when that's their true self and they can live it. I think a lot of people are "computered out" if they work from home and are on zoom and stuff all day. But we were petering here before covid so.... there's that. In general, communities all over are breaking down/changing/diminishing. We usually have a pretty active GBLTQ meet up group where I live and just looking at that one pocket, not being able to have meet ups, has really liquidated our community.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am

It seems to me that all the women who would have id'ed as butch in the past have now decided that they must be transgender. I don't know what's going on with the femmes - they're probably all wearing lululemons now if they have to go out and wearing pajamas all day with no make up while they work at home. I'm being kind of sarcastic, but . . . not really. My high femme days are few and far between. I think the pandemic is contributing to the demise of the butch/femme community.

I had hoped that the pandemic would actually bring our community closer, trapped in front of our computers as we all are now. But it doesn't seem to have worked out that way.

Yes, I suppose some people given no other option, would have previously identified as butch but now are able to imagine a truer identity for themselves. Over the past few years there has occurred opportunity for deep internal exploration of gender for a lot of people. Gender studies became the darling of universities giving rise to many thought provoking ideas and lots of writing surrounding gender and personal gender expression. Such discourse has allowed a diverse range of people to explore gender and look inward. It's given many people the language to express who they feel they really are inside. People can embrace identities that feel right for them that were not understood twenty years ago. Non binary, third gender and genderqueer are some of the identities that may be a better fit for many. I do think non binary works well for me, although I still claim my identity as a butch woman. Historically I have struggled identifying as either of the gender options recognized by the majority of society. I am not comfortable with either exclusively. I'm not clear what a blended version of both looks like for me. I cannot let go of a female identity because of my feminist ideology and I am never comfortable with identifying as male because of the patriarchy, the misogynistic world view and the privilege inherent in a male identity. So I flounder a lot. Not exactly sure who I am or what fits for me. I have been most comfortable identifying as a butch woman but over the years I've come to the realization that for me it doesn't matter that much. I am comfortable in my skin even if I'm not sure how to name it.

I often thought of myself as transgender because of my experience of being uncomfortable with society's definition of woman and could not see myself reflected there. But my feelings regarding the transgender community is reminiscent of how some people feel about the lesbian community. They would never identify as a lesbian because of their experience with the community. My experience with the transgender community is similar. Many transgender people insist on referring to butches as cisgendered. While some maybe okay with that I have never felt that worked for me. I struggled too long and too hard internally because my sex and gender did not match and my gender incongruence resulted in many negative experiences for me throughout my life. It's like spitting in my face to call me cisgendered. You shouldn't insist on giving people identities that they do not claim for themselves. This turned me off and made me protect my butch identity even more. At this point in my life I no longer give a fat rat's ass. I am a butch woman who is not cisgendered and is comfortable with a non binary identity.

But the interesting question I ponder often is what has become of the butch-femme dynamic in this brave new world. Gender identities are not sexual orientation. So what does new language for gender, new ways of defining oneself, different boundaries for self identification mean for sexual attraction? As a new generation of queers come of age what will define their attractions? Transgender include all types of sexual orientation so there are some queers in there. Non binary as well and third gender and genderqueer. Will there be a similar dynamic with a different name? Like gender, the boundaries of sexual orientation has expanded exponentially. It's a pretty exciting time to be young and exploring sexuality. I am neither but academically speaking it's interesting to consider.