Thank you to my Ex for...

[nanners]

This thread is for the GOOD things our ex-partners/lovers/spouses/significant others introduced us to, taught us, gave us a chance to appreciate, etc.

Names of your ex are not necessary, just the "good" stuff you took with you when the relationship ended.

I'll start:

One gave me the opportunities to appreciate long road trips, Native American Pottery, the southwestern US, golden retrievers, primitive living in the woods and reading.

One taught me to not accept less than stellar treatment of myself and to always be honest. She also taught me a lot about driving and having respect for over the road truck drivers. She was the one who made me realize I could only be with a butch the rest of my life...a real appreciation of the Butch Femme community.

One gave me the chance to realize how wonderfully healing and calming the ocean beaches can feel. Also, an appreciation of life in a warm climate. She also gave me the chances to work on myself and learn patience and what life is like for someone who is not as able bodied as I am. She got me on a regimen of vitamins and helped me make doctor appointments, and as a result I've been doing so much better these days!

One started me listening to classic county music and my now favorite radio station.

I'll post more as I think of them.

[homoe]

I'm going to love reading this thread! I think focusing on the good things is way more productive and benefical than on the negative!

I'll be back later to post even though I have only the one ex ...

[knight]

What a great idea for a thread... I will be back with posts....

cheers!

[nycfem]

Going forward:

If you are going to post something about someone who is on this site and is an ex, please confer with them privately to secure permission before posting. Some people do not want to come upon posts that their ex has posted about them. We do get reports about that.

Thanks,
Jennifer (Moderator)

[2qt]

Thank you to my ex for showing me love holds no boundaries or distance, it just is what it is & it was what it was with no regrets......

Thank you to my ex for reminding me of my strengths & my weaknesses & letting me be just me without the need to shelter myself or expect higher of myself then I was capable of doing...

Thank you to my ex for showing me that I am enough, was always enough, will always be enough & to never settle for less then I am worth....

Thank you to my ex for the memories for they have helped me grow a better understanding of me....

[Blade]

Cool positive thread

[Oklahomagal]

I like this idea

[Vincent]

I did not know this thread existed
after constant dreaming about my ex
mainly having PTSD and this being sugested by my therapist

I wrote her a thank you letter
I wanted to tie up loose ends,she was the love of my life
I met her 10 mths coming out of a toxic 14yr R'ship
I was only with her for one yr,so for me length means nothing
I thanked her for teaching me to read
for never yelling or belittling me
for showing me love is gentle and funny and an adventure
I thanked her for pursuing me,even though I took ages to get it
I told her how happy I was,that she had suceded in her career,I had seen a interview she did,and I was proud she had contributed to good policy for ppl with disabilities in Aust
I thanked her,that when I think of her,I smile and can still hear her laugh
I thanked her for the feeling of knowing real love,a feeling I only felt from my father.

I sent this by snail mail,through registered post,so she had to sign for it
I did not send any contact information for me.
But I did add a link to my youtube and soundcloud,and for a lil while someone had me singing on repeat in Sydney where she lives.

And I feel free now,dreams stopped,and I can stop looking for her now,and be content on my own,coz

If the sun refused to shine
I will still be loving you

thankyou-Led Zeplin
I can write this here,she will never see it

[Stone-Butch]

My ex of 22 yrs was a wonderful woman, she probably still is but I don't believe in harassing or stalking so I don't know. She was kind and loving, understanding, put up with my idiosyncratic ways at times. She was patient and had the patience of a saint at times. We had so many happy years, travelling and sharing many places, many things and many people. Both our families were loving toward us both and she called my parents mom and dad. I wanted to make our future brighter so I went to uni. to get a degree to have a better job and income but it played very hard on our relationship till I still had time to attend and she got tired of being alone. So it was and she will always have a place in my heart...

[akiza]

that's a good one but ok i think talking and expressing things god know how i'm not a fan of that but it wasn't a chore back then. ☺ smiling it comes easy in a relationship cheesy things 😅 but yeah i learned hum my voice matters when i use it
it was different each time but something good came out of them 😊

[Vincent]

Originally Posted by Vincent

I did not know this thread existed
after constant dreaming about my ex
mainly having PTSD and this being sugested by my therapist

I wrote her a thank you letter
I wanted to tie up loose ends,she was the love of my life
I met her 10 mths coming out of a toxic 14yr R'ship
I was only with her for one yr,so for me length means nothing
I thanked her for teaching me to read
for never yelling or belittling me
for showing me love is gentle and funny and an adventure
I thanked her for pursuing me,even though I took ages to get it
I told her how happy I was,that she had suceded in her career,I had seen a interview she did,and I was proud she had contributed to good policy for ppl with disabilities in Aust
I thanked her,that when I think of her,I smile and can still hear her laugh
I thanked her for the feeling of knowing real love,a feeling I only felt from my father.

I sent this by snail mail,through registered post,so she had to sign for it
I did not send any contact information for me.
But I did add a link to my youtube and soundcloud,and for a lil while someone had me singing on repeat in Sydney where she lives.

And I feel free now,dreams stopped,and I can stop looking for her now,and be content on my own,coz

If the sun refused to shine
I will still be loving you

thankyou-Led Zeplin
I can write this here,she will never see it

I actually got a reply,through email
I was blown away,she found me
She had followed my political career for trans rights,in Australia
No there is no fairytale happy ending.lol

But her reply was so Jenny.
thoughtful,humble,honest and gentle and loving
And her response was full of all she had got from loving me.

I must admit I got it 2 months ago,and am still processing it
All I can say is,I feel free and that it was a good thing to do
But also it confirmed the reality,that although our time short,it had a life long impact on us both and it can sometimes be a good thing to tie up loose ends.

She has asked If I should want to respond it would be welcomed
But not necessary.

If I can sum up Jenny as a person,I use this story.
I had an old cattle dog,and he was in hospital after removing a tumor.
I went to pick him up,they told me his Mum had been to see him.
I thought it was my ex,his mum of 13 yrs,and asked "the woman with red hair"
They said no she was tall thin blonde,woman.

Jesse died,never seeing my ex of 14 yrs,who lived 5 min walk to the vet and had reared him since 6 weeks.
His last visitor was Jenny
only Jen,would do that and never tell you.
I only found out from the vet nurse

Life can certainly be strange

sometimes we can mistake length,for quality
But it's been the opposite in my life
some people stay for a moment,but the imprint lasts a lifetime

I'm sure there's a song in here somewhere LOL

[VintageFemme]

The best part about looking back, is that time is a friend. It has this magical way of erasing the negative leaving only the sweetness. Thank you to my ex for the lovely memories.

[Teddybear]

Being there when I was so sick we thought I was about to die. For showing me live but for also showing me just as much pain.


Learning to live with the pain I am sure will never go away.

[CherylNYC]

I'm grateful to my long, long ago ex for showing me what it's like to live in a clean, structured environment. That was a super important growth step. I think I might have seemed half feral before we moved in together nearly 30 years ago.

I'm grateful to a more recent ex for helping me learn what I really value in my relationships, romantic or otherwise. If I ever stumble into romance again I'll be so much better equipped. That spills into all my relationships, too. I'm far better acquainted with my own worth now.

[Cin]

I can thank all my exes for helping me understand that there are many ways to look at any issue. Right and wrong are not set in stone. It is more fluid than that, there is more grey. Things are not so black and white and the world is a better place for it.

I discovered that as positive as I am that I am right and that once I explain my position my partner will see the light, it just isn't so. I have all my exes to thank for that lesson. It pretty much took every last one of them for I am a slow learner. Everybody thinks they're right. Perspective is everything. Being right is not as meaningful as one would think. It is more important is to understand the other person's point of view.

I also learned through all the women I have loved that compassion, understanding, empathy and kindness is as important as love in any relationship.

I also learned love is a verb.

All my lessons from all my past exes have brought me to this place in my life where I can be a loving, caring and kind partner to my wife. Without all my experiences with all my exes, as difficult as some were and as heartbreaking as some others have been, I might not be the person I am and be capable of sustaining a relationship with the most wonderful woman in the world. And that would have been terribly unfortunate for me. So I thank all my exes for helping me grow into a person who was able to stay in a relationship for 18 years with the love of my life. And we are still going strong. I am so lucky to have found Truly Scrumptious who fills all my dark places with light. I love you my dark angel, my magical mystery girl.