Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

rustedrims · 05-16-2022, 08:43 PM

I am heart broken. My cousin Dave has lost his fight of 3 years days ago. I will miss him terribly. It hit me hard in the parking lot at the hospital. Started crying and couldn't stop. I was there for a CT scan. I realized he wouldn't be there to tell how it went. We kept in close contact of what we were going through. I got it first but he got it harder and more of it. When I got in there I told the girls what was going on with me so they knew they were not hurting me. Lost it again. I was waiting for my jacked up water to drink and never got it. I told Jen that I didn't get my water. She told me why I didn't get it. Turns out there is a shortage of that stuff. They get it from China! When I get my treatments they mix it up when I get there! Why does that stuff come all the way from China and they can mix the treatment stuff up when I get there?!..

Got to thinking the other day....... My last maintainance treatment is October 2023. The other day I was out cutting up broken branches on a tree. A lady came out and asked me what I was doing? I should have told her I was staying in remission. Then started to think that every time I get
a treatment it takes away a little bit from me. I don't notice things right away but there are things missing. I love to do yard work! Cut branches up stack the sticks deliver them and mow yards! I will fight as long as I can to keep that part of me! What I did loose is strength balance and coordination. Gotta have that to ride the bike. Yeah I can zip around very short distances but that's not riding. Not relaxed and comfortable like I need to be to ride. Sold the bike today. That stuff took away 2 things I love dearly .Dave and riding.

Thank you for reading my ramblings and be safe out there.

s

05-16-2022, 08:43 PM	#28
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	hi I am heart broken. My cousin Dave has lost his fight of 3 years days ago. I will miss him terribly. It hit me hard in the parking lot at the hospital. Started crying and couldn't stop. I was there for a CT scan. I realized he wouldn't be there to tell how it went. We kept in close contact of what we were going through. I got it first but he got it harder and more of it. When I got in there I told the girls what was going on with me so they knew they were not hurting me. Lost it again. I was waiting for my jacked up water to drink and never got it. I told Jen that I didn't get my water. She told me why I didn't get it. Turns out there is a shortage of that stuff. They get it from China! When I get my treatments they mix it up when I get there! Why does that stuff come all the way from China and they can mix the treatment stuff up when I get there?!.. Got to thinking the other day....... My last maintainance treatment is October 2023. The other day I was out cutting up broken branches on a tree. A lady came out and asked me what I was doing? I should have told her I was staying in remission. Then started to think that every time I get a treatment it takes away a little bit from me. I don't notice things right away but there are things missing. I love to do yard work! Cut branches up stack the sticks deliver them and mow yards! I will fight as long as I can to keep that part of me! What I did loose is strength balance and coordination. Gotta have that to ride the bike. Yeah I can zip around very short distances but that's not riding. Not relaxed and comfortable like I need to be to ride. Sold the bike today. That stuff took away 2 things I love dearly .Dave and riding. Thank you for reading my ramblings and be safe out there. s __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.