Growing older

[Stone-Butch]

We are all going to do it, like it or not. The worst part I find that once I retired and was on my own then the old me started to move in. I lost interest in a lot of things (not that lol) and started to bore me. I really don't like going to special places or holidays or even dinner, alone. Many people your age are interested in younger women to help them feel younger. I found that younger people had very little in common with my life style. Yes we both like going dancing but there is a huge difference in style and music preferences. I use to love to party till well into morning but not now. I use to drink and smoke and dance till dawn, not now. It is nice to chat and become somewhat acquainted from a distance but the problem is, once you meet it may be someone totally different than who you had envisioned through conversation.
If you find you have a good deal in common it is nice to know the differences you have also so that you can make an effort to enhance your relationship (if it comes to that). Do things your new partner or even friend enjoys even if you have never done so before. Be willing to overlook small things that annoy you (they will.) If possible exchange pictures, speak on the phone as it is nice to hear a voice. I have used Skype in the past to talk to the little one so I like to use it in its three steps to get to know the other person. You can message and read and answer right away, then you can talk without the phone and then you can see each other and know if this is the person you expected her to be from your conversations. I do not do Uhaul, ever. I like to know a little before I even think of making friends.
Anyway are you sorry I am spouting off LOL. Well I am done and ty for letting this old butch say her piece.

[Blade]

Since I don't have a computer and use my phone for posting, I will likely make several short posts.

Stamina, I have none it is gone. I do more piddling that actual get er done when doing my chores.

I live way out in the country so I dint worry about kids in my yard, but it infuriates me to have the neighbors dogs in my yard or running my livestock. Keep in mind I am 100 yards off the road and my property is fenced.

I don't really like going places alone anymore. Probably from PTSD from falling in 2016 while on vacation. Had I been alone then I'd been screwed.

I enjoy eating out but crying kidd or kids playing on their computers with the sound up, well let's just say I loose my patience pretty quickly with parents who allow this. Parents and kids is a whole other conversation of behaviors I don't tolerate well anymore.

Yes I am one of those who almost daily now will say...at the risk of sounding like Mom or Nannie or Pa...you get the idea. These kids these days...when I was 20...

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by Blade

Since I don't have a computer and use my phone for posting, I will likely make several short posts.

Stamina, I have none it is gone. I do more piddling that actual get er done when doing my chores.

I live way out in the country so I dint worry about kids in my yard, but it infuriates me to have the neighbors dogs in my yard or running my livestock. Keep in mind I am 100 yards off the road and my property is fenced.

……

Yes I am one of those who almost daily now will say...at the risk of sounding like Mom or Nannie or Pa...you get the idea. These kids these days...when I was 20...

I HATED when dogs would come onto my farm! And they always were pets of former city dwellers who moved to the country and thought it was cool to let the dogs run loose.

Also, I too am sounding like my parents lately, when I’m talking to other people’s kids! (I am very grateful that my grandchildren are well behaved and really nice human beings.) I have seen such brats out there. No discipline. True sense of entitlement even on the very youngest! So that’s when old ageisms creep out of my mouth! I gotta give them some wisdom! Lol.

[Blade]

Originally Posted by Soft*Silver

I HATED when dogs would come onto my farm! And they always were pets of former city dwellers who moved to the country and thought it was cool to let the dogs run loose.

Also, I too am sounding like my parents lately, when I’m talking to other people’s kids! (I am very grateful that my grandchildren are well behaved and really nice human beings.) I have seen such brats out there. No discipline. True sense of entitlement even on the very youngest! So that’s when old ageisms creep out of my mouth! I gotta give them some wisdom! Lol.

Yes I use to hear this a lot. "Part of the reason we moved to the country is so we could let the dogs run". Seriously do ya think your country neighbors want your dog on their property? Do ya think a dog's chances are any better in the country of not getting hit by a car or attacked by a coyote or shot by someone protecting their livestock? I love animals so much more than people these days.

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by Stone-Butch

Many people your age are interested in younger women to help them feel younger. I found that younger people had very little in common with my life style.

Oh my God dating younger women used to make me feel old! I remember back in my 50s I was dating somebody that was 20 years plus younger than me. She didn’t have a clue who the Beatles were! I wanted somebody that could have a conversation with me on shared experiences. They could be totally different than mine, but they had to be close to the same realm of reality.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that should anything happened to my husband, I will not look for another living relationship. I am very independent now and I don’t think that I could share my space with anyone else but him. I would love to continue to go on dinner date soon go watch movies together etc. but I’m done with the concept of romantic partners until I die. Part of the reason is that I am now like a case manager for the elderly and disabled. I love seeing these people be very independent and living on their own, but sharing company and time with each other . Some of them are engaged and physical closeness as well and some don’t care. And the magic of that age, 70s and beyond, is all about genuine enjoyment. It seems like there’s no jealousy. They don’t question the other persons, attention, or loyalty. They don’t demand monogamy in their companionships. Life is good for them and I kind of think if anything should happen between my husband and I or if he passes first, but I think life will be for me to.

[deb0670]

I have been " feeling my age" more lately than ever before.
There are times i feel young(ish), then i look at how old my kids and grandkids are. My oldest grandkid will be 11 on Jan 2nd. My kids are 35,33,and 26. Yes, I was young when i had them. 2 weeks before i turned 17, two months before i turned 19 and had my youngest at 26..
i am now 52.

I went to church today with my Mom, first time stepping into a church building in about 15 yrs, i was looking around at all the people( mostly elderly or grey(ish) and realized.. I fit in more with them than with the younger crowd .
I remember how agile i used to be, how i was able to do bunches of things that now i am like. yeah no.

I guess i don't have a real direct flow with this post.. just.. old thoughts i reckon

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by deb0670

I remember how agile i used to be, how i was able to do bunches of things that now i am like. yeah no.

This is what gets to me. I don't think about being old(er) all the time, but then some perfectly normal thing will come up, like changing a light bulb in the ceiling fixture, and I start to reconsider - "Maybe I should get someone else to do that? What if I lose my balance?"

(I'm offering a prize for the best answer: "Q: How many old(er) lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?" PM me your answers, and I'll pick one. I'm serious, I will send someone a (small) prize. And I'll post the winner and their answer here.)

I have dreams about running . . . running everywhere, down a city street, on a country road, around the aisles of a grocery store. I'll wake up and think, "Wow, that felt good. I should do that." And then I'll remember that I can't even walk somewhere without a cane, and sitting down to take breaks after short distances, and just getting out of bed is going to hurt like the dickens in several different places.

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am

I have dreams about running . . . running everywhere, down a city street, on a country road, around the aisles of a grocery store. I'll wake up and think, "Wow, that felt good. I should do that." And then I'll remember that I can't even walk somewhere without a cane, and sitting down to take breaks after short distances, and just getting out of bed is going to hurt like the dickens in several different places.

omg, I thought I was the only one who had dreams like that! Mine is always about riding horses. Then he was younger. I used to ride from sun up to sundown. Often bareback. In my dreams I’m doing it again. When I wake up, I think God I wish I could ride a horse again… And then I roll over and the cramping if my body starts and I lift myself gingerly out of bed. I still do a hell of a lot for the age I am in the condition I am in. But I’m so slow now…

[Soft*Silver]

Originally Posted by deb0670

was looking around at all the people( mostly elderly or grey(ish) and realized.. I fit in more with them than with the younger crowd .
I remember how agile i used to be, how i was able to do bunches of things that now i am like. yeah no.

I guess i don't have a real direct flow with this post.. just.. old thoughts i reckon

I follow someone on TikTok that does aging of actors and famous people. I am shocked that people I knew in the 80s and 90s are old! The nice thing, though is that I’m not as hard on myself, regarding aging, now that I see how others have aged over the years

[ksrainbow]

I did not connect with growing older until:

when my hair dresser retired
when my plumber retired
when my financial advisor retired
when my physician retired
when my therapist retired
All of the above including myself, are growing older.

May we all give gratitude and appreciation for enjoying our journey with grace!

Ks-

[ksrainbow]

Originally Posted by ksrainbow

I did not connect with growing older until:

when my hair dresser retired
when my plumber retired
when my financial advisor retired
when my physician retired
when my therapist retired
All of the above including myself, are growing older.

May we all give gratitude and appreciation for enjoying our journey with grace!

Ks-

my new hair dresser: Is awesome-compliments on my hair style, its overall health and the *care* I give it!

my plumber: Thankful I have not had to find another one.

my physician: My new PA who has been following my rotator cuff injury-she ROCKS!

my financial advisor: Replaced by his daughter *All in the Family*works for me!

my therapist: Medicare suggested a new provider-appt next Monday!

Overall-Getting older is less stressful in hindsight than it was when I started this journey. Enjoying this trek better than I anticipated.

Ks-

[GeorgiaMa'am]

my hair dresser: Is the same one I have had for 30-something years. We're the same age, so I'm hoping he outlasts me. He makes me gorgeous.

my plumber: Still searching for The One.

my physician: I've been with her for about 20 years and she is awesome.
She's younger than me, so I've got high hopes.

my financial advisor: Younger than me by a good 10 years. He'll do.

my therapist: He's rapidly approaching retirement age. I don't know what I'm going to do without him - except hope he has someone he can refer me to.

Overall: I didn't expect to get this sick, this young. On the other hand, I didn't expect to get this old. I always vaguely suspected I would do something stupid that would end in my demise at a fairly early age. Now I'm older and wiser, and will likely die of some illness. I just hope it isn't awful.

[Blade]

One of the things I have a hurdle with as I have aged, especially the last few years is inability to or needing help doing things that were once simple. I think some of this is due to my knee situation at this point.

Things I had planned to do in retirement I can no longer do or have trouble doing. I can't bend or stoop for periods of time. I can't get on the floor or ground. I fell last Saturday so I found out I can get up off the ground. I had planned to supplement my income working on small engines and doing a little woodworking and some cheap yard care for the elderly.

So unless some things change for me physically I will have to devise a new plan onwhat to do for fun as I age. But it's all good, I'll figure it out

[deb0670]

Originally Posted by Soft*Silver

I follow someone on TikTok that does aging of actors and famous people. I am shocked that people I knew in the 80s and 90s are old! The nice thing, though is that IÂ’m not as hard on myself, regarding aging, now that I see how others have aged over the years

It is wild to me to look around and see so many people i grew up with look older than i think they should be.
In my mind, i am about 30 ish... active, etc... yeah no..

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by deb0670

It is wild to me to look around and see so many people i grew up with look older than i think they should be.

This is a scary thought, now that you mention it. One of the symptoms of my mother's dementia is that she can't remember people's names sometimes or who they are. She was trying to tell me what that is like, and it sounds so much like what you describe. She told me that she knew her sister was her sister (for example), but her sister did not look to her like she ought to. In my mother's mind, her sister ought to look much younger, so when my mother looked at her sister now, she didn't recognize her.

Of course, I'm not saying you have dementia. I'm just saying it's weird how our minds work.

[Gemme]

I'm restarting Project Runway and it's blowing my mind how much of a baby Heidi is and Tim too. lol

Also, I found myself envying a woman at my salon today. Her hair is a lovely muted white with the very ends darker, like they have been dipped in ink. I wish my hair would wind up like that but it's not greying evenly (I have white patches on one side and the "normal" salt and pepper elsewhere) and I actually felt a wee bit of something because I knew my hair would not look like hers at any point in my life (naturally, anyway).

Even though dying one's hair gray has been popular in recent years with kids, I never had that thought when I was young.

Also, the time frame from when my bladder signals 'incoming' and the time that I have to get to the facilities has reduced quite a bit. I have had a few near misses this year.