Caregivers and Stress

GeorgiaMa'am · 10-30-2023, 09:37 PM

They temporarily kicked my mom out of the nursing home today.

She was emotional and would not leave the other residents alone. She threw a remote at somebody's head, and that was it. They called my sister and her husband and asked them to come get her, she could not spend another night in the home. The only way they would let her back in was if she had some medical contributing factor, and it got taken care of.

The had the sheriff (!) take Mama to the hospital. They did not charge her with anything, though. The ER checked her out, and it turns out she has a bad UTI. They are giving her an antibiotic IV and Ativan to calm her down- which did not calm her down at all. Now she is hallucinating and giggling and saying all kinds of gibberish. They're treating her in the ER, but the nursing home says she has to be admitted and treated in order for them to let her come back. (Red tape B.S.!)

Thank goodness the home will let Mama come back, though. It concerns me that the nursing staff did not figure out she had a UTI. I know they're at a disadvantage because Mama can't tell them what's wrong with her. But still! They're supposed to be looking after her!

My sister is still waiting with her in the ER. She says she needs an IV of Tito's from having to deal with all the red tape. I don't know know where they're going to go for the night. Hopefully my sister can get my mom admitted to the hospital for one night.

clay · 11-01-2023, 08:21 AM

My wife has been such a strength, support, & amazing caregiver during this past year from hell, for me!

She is such a kind, gentle, compassionate individual! She has tromped to visits, tests, hospitalizations, all the while smiling, never complaining, & ever by my side. Most weeks, we were at some dr office or hospital or testing center several days a week. She lifts my electric chair in/out of the truck...and I KNOW it taxes her shoulders & back..but she does so with love & a smile.

The goddess & the universe truly blessed me with this incredible woman! I couldn't have chosen a more compatible, loving, devoted soul. She always makes me feel loved, wanted, & a big part of her life!

Thank you, C.!!!!! You are my salvation, my light, & my forever love!

easygoingfemme · 10-14-2024, 05:18 PM

I'm so deep into this that I don't even know what to say. This month's adventures are in finances of elder care. I get these bills from my father's assisted living facility and they don't match the services he receives or the paperwork I signed when moving him in. Thank goddess he has long term care insurance that reimburses about 70% of the bills, but I have to pay the bills first and submit them and sign off that they are accurate, and they are not! I've been asking since 10/1 why his bill is more than 1k over what it should be and haven't gotten a clear answer other than that we will see "a credit" in next month's bill. No detail on how much or why or what happened. And they charged (and then reversed after I pushed back) a $250 late fee because I wouldn't pay the bill without an explanation for the very large overcharge. And they want me to fill out automatic withdrawal from his bank account! No, thank you.

nhplowboi · 10-15-2024, 05:27 AM

Good on you EGF for your diligence. I'm sure financial abuse is the norm and they are not used to a resident having an advocate closely monitoring what is happening. Also an advocate that is not going to be overwhelmed by the layers of paperwork nonsense they will use to support their position. Wishing you strength to continue the good fight on behalf of your dad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by easygoingfemme

I'm so deep into this that I don't even know what to say. This month's adventures are in finances of elder care. I get these bills from my father's assisted living facility and they don't match the services he receives or the paperwork I signed when moving him in. Thank goddess he has long term care insurance that reimburses about 70% of the bills, but I have to pay the bills first and submit them and sign off that they are accurate, and they are not! I've been asking since 10/1 why his bill is more than 1k over what it should be and haven't gotten a clear answer other than that we will see "a credit" in next month's bill. No detail on how much or why or what happened. And they charged (and then reversed after I pushed back) a $250 late fee because I wouldn't pay the bill without an explanation for the very large overcharge. And they want me to fill out automatic withdrawal from his bank account! No, thank you.

easygoingfemme · 10-15-2024, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhplowboi

Good on you EGF for your diligence. I'm sure financial abuse is the norm and they are not used to a resident having an advocate closely monitoring what is happening. Also an advocate that is not going to be overwhelmed by the layers of paperwork nonsense they will use to support their position. Wishing you strength to continue the good fight on behalf of your dad.

Thank you. It's like they just make things up and when I ask for documentation... crickets.

10-30-2023, 09:37 PM	#1
GeorgiaMa'am Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: Ma'am Relationship Status: widowed - involved, poly Join Date: May 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 6,425 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,518 Thanked 28,469 Times in 5,796 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	They temporarily kicked my mom out of the nursing home today. She was emotional and would not leave the other residents alone. She threw a remote at somebody's head, and that was it. They called my sister and her husband and asked them to come get her, she could not spend another night in the home. The only way they would let her back in was if she had some medical contributing factor, and it got taken care of. The had the sheriff (!) take Mama to the hospital. They did not charge her with anything, though. The ER checked her out, and it turns out she has a bad UTI. They are giving her an antibiotic IV and Ativan to calm her down- which did not calm her down at all. Now she is hallucinating and giggling and saying all kinds of gibberish. They're treating her in the ER, but the nursing home says she has to be admitted and treated in order for them to let her come back. (Red tape B.S.!) Thank goodness the home will let Mama come back, though. It concerns me that the nursing staff did not figure out she had a UTI. I know they're at a disadvantage because Mama can't tell them what's wrong with her. But still! They're supposed to be looking after her! My sister is still waiting with her in the ER. She says she needs an IV of Tito's from having to deal with all the red tape. I don't know know where they're going to go for the night. Hopefully my sister can get my mom admitted to the hospital for one night. __________________ -GeorgiaMa'am It's true that you are blessed and lucky It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you. -10,000 Maniacs

11-01-2023, 08:21 AM	#2
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,668 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	My wife has been such a strength, support, & amazing caregiver during this past year from hell, for me! She is such a kind, gentle, compassionate individual! She has tromped to visits, tests, hospitalizations, all the while smiling, never complaining, & ever by my side. Most weeks, we were at some dr office or hospital or testing center several days a week. She lifts my electric chair in/out of the truck...and I KNOW it taxes her shoulders & back..but she does so with love & a smile. The goddess & the universe truly blessed me with this incredible woman! I couldn't have chosen a more compatible, loving, devoted soul. She always makes me feel loved, wanted, & a big part of her life! Thank you, C.!!!!! You are my salvation, my light, & my forever love! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

10-14-2024, 05:18 PM	#3
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,691 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,021 Thanked 14,970 Times in 3,317 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I'm so deep into this that I don't even know what to say. This month's adventures are in finances of elder care. I get these bills from my father's assisted living facility and they don't match the services he receives or the paperwork I signed when moving him in. Thank goddess he has long term care insurance that reimburses about 70% of the bills, but I have to pay the bills first and submit them and sign off that they are accurate, and they are not! I've been asking since 10/1 why his bill is more than 1k over what it should be and haven't gotten a clear answer other than that we will see "a credit" in next month's bill. No detail on how much or why or what happened. And they charged (and then reversed after I pushed back) a $250 late fee because I wouldn't pay the bill without an explanation for the very large overcharge. And they want me to fill out automatic withdrawal from his bank account! No, thank you.