A Community Request

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by little man

tony says they're not.

Ouch.

Let's hope for no breachies, yes?

Originally Posted by cybersuebee

Declawed kittens are for wusses. Jus sayin'.

You, missy, are not being helpful.

[Oiler41]

Thank you for posting this. Pup and I have had a very similar discussion on more than one occasion. I think we have all seen the negative result of someone new to this site (or any other similar site) or the dynamic (and sometimes someone not so new that is trying to understand a component of our community that they may not have really considered before), use the wrong identifier and get blasted for it; or say something that seems ID insensitive, and get blasted for it and/or labeled as intolerant of this or that and discounted from that moment forward. It's not pretty, it's not very fair and it can be quite divisive. I for one don't like or want to see the division of our community along such a boundary. In my opinion, the collective "we" are already a microcosm within a microcosm. As such, good debate is healthy; division is not.

I really do appreciate the stance, wisdom and tolerance of the admins and most of the community here in their desire to create a positive space in which everyone should feel welcome to a space that provides us with a place to play, learn, share, debate and best of all, connect with our community; our online family that we often have the luxury of meeting in person along the way. Every single one of us is at a different point in our own personal journey and knowledge, and that often is reflected in what we say, how we say it; what we view as humorous or distasteful. Tolerance and understanding cannot be forced. Many of us have seen the result of that premise. It must instead be nurtured through dialogue, information exchange and patience. Many thanks for reminding us all to engage our brains and our hearts before engaging our keyboards.

Didn't want to get on a soapbox, but hey, it's 3:30 in the morning and this thread certainly hit on a point that I feel pretty strongly about but never took the time to vocalize. Thanks for the prompt, thanks for the space and thank you for the reminder to us all to help keep this place healthy across the board!

Glynn

[sharkchomp]

I'm personally against shooting kittens from any region. I don't hold glitter grudges.... just saying

sly grin

~~~shark~~~~~~~~

[Gemme]

Breachies = breach birth...er, extraction. Claws could....hurt.

Thought I'd clear that up.

[SassyLeo]

I love the "personal bubble"

A couple of years ago, June and I were talking about friendships and she said "friend bubble". It made SO much sense to me!

What got me thinking is how we all come from our own life experiences and then from all kinds of different communities...some of us know each other from more than one and each has their own dynamic. I think it is easy for those environments to bleed into each other... and although it can be great when they collide, I think it is also important to remember the different energies... "bubbles"

June - please explain better

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by SassyLeo

I love the "personal bubble"

A couple of years ago, June and I were talking about friendships and she said "friend bubble". It made SO much sense to me!

What got me thinking is how we all come from our own life experiences and then from all kinds of different communities...some of us know each other from more than one and each has their own dynamic. I think it is easy for those environments to bleed into each other... and although it can be great when they collide, I think it is also important to remember the different energies... "bubbles"

June - please explain better

I think I see where you are going with this. In my mind's eye, I see those hideous circles they made us do in geometry that are separate but some overlap.

For example, one circle would be blue and over there. One circle would be red and over here. There would be a section of the circles that overlapped (those with common elements, such as mutual friends or interests) and that section would be purple. Each circle has its own environment and parameters but the purple is unique in that it is a blend of the two separate circles (with their energies already in place), therefore coming up with its own energy that is derived from the energies of the red and blue circles.

Okay, it may not make sense to anyone else, but I get it.

[waxnrope]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I think I see where you are going with this...

Okay, it may not make sense to anyone else, but I get it.

I am so glad that you get it ...

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I think I see where you are going with this. In my mind's eye, I see those hideous circles they made us do in geometry that are separate but some overlap.

For example, one circle would be blue and over there. One circle would be red and over here. There would be a section of the circles that overlapped (those with common elements, such as mutual friends or interests) and that section would be purple. Each circle has its own environment and parameters but the purple is unique in that it is a blend of the two separate circles (with their energies already in place), therefore coming up with its own energy that is derived from the energies of the red and blue circles.

Okay, it may not make sense to anyone else, but I get it.

Yes!

I remember when I first became involved in the community. I joined the dash site and I purposely spent a fair amount of time reading...trying to guage the tone of language and conversation dynamics.

At first I spent alot of time in the "fluff" threads because I didn't feel I was as knowledgeable about gender and b-f stuff. I didn't want to appear or sound lame... I don't recall it being specifically about others being made fun of or called out, mostly my own fear of sounding like a total idiot.

Gradually as I learned and read more, I participated in the more intense threads and I am sure I still said some completely ridiculous stuff (and still do), but I was much more willing to take the risk - I think partially because I felt more "comfy" with the site energy and also I think by that time I had met some folks in person (bay area b-f group events), so it made it easier for me to connect.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt... I think (someone can call me on this if I'm oblivious )

[WolfyOne]

This thread is turning out to be just what I expected.......shared effort and community spirit.

I remember how hard it was for me to find my place and fit in, way back. When on another site as a newbie, many old timers would jump on anything you wrote that didn't conform to their way of thinking. I used to back away from many threads because of it. Over the last couple of years, I've learned to hold my own. I promised myself when this site opened and I became a member that I would not put anyone through what I had to go through to fit in somewhere. I've tried really hard to help newbies I see here if I'm not familiar with them from another place. I want us to keep new members not chase them away. Community is about standing up for each other and helping those that don't understand to be aware. We have to remember, we were them once. Debates are great, but not at the cost of embarrassing another in public view.

Admin, thank you for all you do to make this a great place. A place that feels like a home. A place worth coming back, again and again. A place where love or at least like is felt and not hate. A place where as a community we can help others become whomever they want to be.

[Dude]

We might could use some of them there aura fluffers

[Arwen]

Some threads need bumping. Read the first post first.

[Medusa]

Hey Planeteers!

I'm bumping this thread in anticipation of what might be a small influx of new signups. We have steadily seen anywhere from 5 - 15 new signups a day for a long time, with it being a strong average of 10 a day most of the time.
I just renewed an ad on Facebook with some vey specific targeted marketing toward Butches, Femmes, Genderqueers, and Transfolks who might not yet be members of the site. This might mean that we get several new people who are either new to the dynamic or new to having a "home" on a community forum.
I wanted to ask everyone to read the first post in this thread again as a reminder of how to greet newbies or help folks find their way who are new here. I trust that everyone here will be amazing!

Thanks!
me

[Jet]

I also want to request that you take the time to *ask for and provide clarification* in conversations where someone may have inadvertently used an incorrect identifier for you or someone else or made an unglamorous or clumsy statement. Please stop and ask yourself if it is possible that the person might merely be new or if they might not yet have familiararity with your personal way of being.


we'll do.....

[Medusa]

Bump and Repost:

Hey Planeteers!

I'm bumping this thread in anticipation of what might be a small influx of new signups. We have steadily seen anywhere from 5 - 15 new signups a day for a long time, with it being a strong average of 10 a day most of the time.
I just renewed an ad on Facebook with some vey specific targeted marketing toward Butches, Femmes, Genderqueers, and Transfolks who might not yet be members of the site. This might mean that we get several new people who are either new to the dynamic or new to having a "home" on a community forum.
I wanted to ask everyone to read the first post in this thread again as a reminder of how to greet newbies or help folks find their way who are new here. I trust that everyone here will be amazing!

Thanks!
me

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by June

I'm still waiting for glittery kittens to shoot out of someones nether regions.

Me. I'll do it; I now own a pink bridal pony from the wedding, so I can now shoot glitter teacup kittens from my @ss.