A friend of Dorothys- how important is community?

[Kobi]

I felt the need to be part of a community when I first came out. I immersed myself in everything lesbian.

It wore off tho. The more I know who I am and am comfortable with it, the less need I have to be part of a group.

Now, I just prefer to fit in and live peacefully.

[Converse]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I felt the need to be part of a community when I first came out. I immersed myself in everything lesbian.

It wore off tho. The more I know who I am and am comfortable with it, the less need I have to be part of a group.

Now, I just prefer to fit in and live peacefully.

Kobi,
This is something I understand, though I’m wondering whether you think that you would be more inclined to look for community if sites like this one didn’t exist, or do you believe that having any kind of interaction/connection with community is simply no longer important to you anymore?
Also are you living somewhere that doesn’t require you to compromise in order to “fit in”?

[Kobi]

Converse,

Interesting questions.

I never felt I had to compromise to fit in here. Yes it is a more accepting area then others might have to deal with. Once I was comfortable in my own skin, I just took partners with me to family and work functions because it seemed normal to me to do so.

I never had the need to be an "in your face queer" nor did I like associating with those who did. Being queer wasnt how I defined myself, it was and is just one part of who I am.

On line communities are nice to visit but they dont take the place of real time human interaction for me. It is more rewarding to be sitting across from someone talking then it is to type to someone.

It is more important to me to find people I can connect with in a meaningful way. Their gender or orientation doesnt seem to phase me anymore. The energy of women is more comfortable to me but I have met some intriguing people who arent lesbians or female.


[/I]

Originally Posted by Converse

Kobi,
This is something I understand, though I’m wondering whether you think that you would be more inclined to look for community if sites like this one didn’t exist, or do you believe that having any kind of interaction/connection with community is simply no longer important to you anymore?
Also are you living somewhere that doesn’t require you to compromise in order to “fit in”?