Open Letter: Dear Femme

[Jet]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Great post e.

I have found life to have gone down an interesting path since I fell in love with a trans person. People keep trying to relegate me to being a piece of furniture (soffa) and insisting that my label must change. I MUST be straight, look at who I love.

The thing is: I am the same me I have always been.

Hunter
Gatherer
Mother Bear
Sister
Daughter
Friend
Lover
Worker Bee
Busy Bee
Lover of my feminine

I have fought to be seen. To be heard. Without being on the arm of a butch or a trans guy. Suddenly I am again unseen. For who *I* am.

I will not stop fighting to be seen. I will not change the essence of *Me* because of who the Universe sent me to love.

I will keep speaking out. Figuring out. Opening my mind and heart but not changing the core.

I do not exist as a 50%. I am not a half of something.

I am 100%. Me.

1 + ! = 2 and so forth and so on into infinity.

Bravo to this post, but I don't understand how femmes are relagated or unseen in any manner. At this sir's house they are the most beautiful, prominent, powerful creatures on earth. Maybe someday, one might love me. I wonder what that would feel like. Empowerment? It certainly doesn't come from my masculinity.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Bravo to this post, but I don't understand how femmes are relagated or unseen in any manner. At this sir's house they are the most beautiful, prominent, powerful creatures on earth. Maybe someday, one might love me. I wonder what that would feel like. Empowerment? It certainly doesn't come from my masculinity.

Femme's experience invisibility every time they step out into the world alone
Without being on the arm of somebody, we are not counted, not noticed.
When we ARE noticed there are several different things that can happen.

We get told we should just be with men or that we are pretending to be with men.

We get dismissed because we *pass*.

It's like coming out over and over and over again. It can be different every time. Say we date a trans person? We get told we are straight. As if OUR identity (once again) is entrenched in who we love. Date another Femme and we are told we are not "Real Femmes".

So yes, we are relegated to the back of the line. To the closet. To the hetero world

[Jet]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Femme's experience invisibility every time they step out into the world alone
Without being on the arm of somebody, we are not counted, not noticed.
When we ARE noticed there are several different things that can happen.

We get told we should just be with men or that we are pretending to be with men.

We get dismissed because we *pass*.

It's like coming out over and over and over again. It can be different every time. Say we date a trans person? We get told we are straight. As if OUR identity (once again) is entrenched in who we love. Date another Femme and we are told we are not "Real Femmes".

So yes, we are relegated to the back of the line. To the closet. To the hetero world

I'm sorry, I had no idea that femmes were treated this way. It's very alien to me considering how I regard femmes. Thanks for responding.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by June

Hi, Jet --

Read us and listen to us all the way through, and you will have a much better understanding, I promise. So many voices in this thread already and I'm even behind. Remember, you are welcome to participate and comment here, but a blanket "I don't understand" followed by how things are in your house is not indicative that you're fully listening yet. I will leave it to SuperFemme to reply to you or not. Perhaps the thread OP, evolveme may do so as well.

--June

Sorry if I mis-spoke or didn't perceive right. I caught "relegated" and "unseen" in perusing this fast. I'll sit back now. Thanks, June