I'd Like to Claim I was Drunk: Pick Up Lines Destined to Fail

apretty · 07-02-2010, 09:25 AM

once i was about 22 and in a 'hometown buffet' this goodlooking guy leans in too close and over me and points to the chicken on my plate while looking down my shirt murmurs:

"Is that a THIGH or a BREAST."

i was so 20s-dumb that i didn't even know that i was being hit on until i came up to my mother and said, 'that guy over there asked me if my chicken was...' she clued me in. and occasionally one of us we'll say it to each other, given the slightest opportunity.

(this guy had GAME! who hits on someone at hometown buffet? who hits on someone and mentions chicken parts? ...i wonder where he is now.)

always2late · 07-02-2010, 09:45 AM

Said to me by one of my patients (and I LOVE this line!! lol) :

"Hey Blondie, I got a pickup you'd look mighty good in!"

Apocalipstic · 07-02-2010, 10:11 AM

Hey Baby I am just looking for a piece of ass.

chefhmboyrd · 07-02-2010, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Hey Baby I am just looking for a piece of ass.

ha ha ha ha i remember that
we were at this bar next to the truck stop, and this guy just walked up to you and said that
i guess you gotta give the guy credit, he knew what he wanted and didn't want to beat around the bush, he wanted to be in it

Apocalipstic · 07-02-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chefhmboyrd

ha ha ha ha i remember that
we were at this bar next to the truck stop, and this guy just walked up to you and said that
i guess you gotta give the guy credit, he knew what he wanted and didn't want to beat around the bush, he wanted to be in it

Ha!

I said "well you won't find one here"

and he said "I'm just tryin' to hownest baybah"

SIGH

chefhottie25 · 07-03-2010, 12:48 AM

I have no problem getting out of your bed to make you breakfast in the morning. The few times I went out after work with my chef coat on it actually worked...but mostly it failed.

betenoire · 07-03-2010, 01:19 AM

True story.

I was on the bus, reading. Which is pretty much what I do - I ride buses and read. Some guy sits beside me and says "hi. what are you reading?" So I show him the cover of my book. (It was Love in the Time of Cholera)

he says "um. What's chool-era?"

game over.

skeeter_01 · 08-24-2010, 03:38 PM

What I meant to say: So, can I buy you a drink?

What I did say: So, can I buy you a house?

I had NO idea that was going to come out of my mouth until it did...btw...YES I could buy her a house, NO I didn't get laid....

nicetgurl_30 · 08-24-2010, 03:53 PM

should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

Medusa · 08-24-2010, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicetgurl_30

should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

I'd vote for the nudge

uglyboi · 05-19-2011, 08:21 PM

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Selenay · 01-25-2012, 11:39 AM

Hey baby, I left my scarf at home; can I wrap your legs around me instead?

kannon · 01-25-2012, 11:45 AM

Motion for her to come over with the finger "come here" sign. If she does, tell her, "I just wanted to see if I could I could make you come with my finger. Looks like I can. My fingers work even better in the bed."

WARNING: This drunken line is sure to evoke a strong emotional reaction of some sort.

Jesse · 07-02-2010, 10:27 AM

Really like your peaches...wanna shake your tree.

SuperFemme · 07-02-2010, 10:34 AM

You've been a bad boi! Now go to MY room!

07-02-2010, 09:25 AM	#1
apretty Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego Posts: 1,687 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,927 Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	i never said this, but i think you should! once i was about 22 and in a 'hometown buffet' this goodlooking guy leans in too close and over me and points to the chicken on my plate while looking down my shirt murmurs: "Is that a THIGH or a BREAST." i was so 20s-dumb that i didn't even know that i was being hit on until i came up to my mother and said, 'that guy over there asked me if my chicken was...' she clued me in. and occasionally one of us we'll say it to each other, given the slightest opportunity. (this guy had GAME! who hits on someone at hometown buffet? who hits on someone and mentions chicken parts? ...i wonder where he is now.)

07-02-2010, 09:45 AM	#2
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Said to me by one of my patients (and I LOVE this line!! lol) : "Hey Blondie, I got a pickup you'd look mighty good in!" __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

07-02-2010, 10:11 AM	#3
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hey Baby I am just looking for a piece of ass. __________________

07-03-2010, 01:19 AM	#7
betenoire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Satan in a Sunday Hat Preferred Pronoun?: Maow Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Chemical Valley Posts: 4,086 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,312 Thanked 8,739 Times in 2,566 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	True story. I was on the bus, reading. Which is pretty much what I do - I ride buses and read. Some guy sits beside me and says "hi. what are you reading?" So I show him the cover of my book. (It was Love in the Time of Cholera) he says "um. What's chool-era?" game over. __________________ bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.

08-24-2010, 03:38 PM	#8
skeeter_01 Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hey you! Relationship Status: Sleeping single in a double bed.. Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ann arbor, michigan Posts: 195 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 288 Thanked 477 Times in 130 Posts Rep Power: 3007277	*What I meant* to say: So, can I buy you a drink? What I did say**: So, can I buy you a house? I had NO idea that was going to come out of my mouth until it did...btw...YES I could buy her a house, NO I didn't get laid.... __________________ Texting while driving is a real KILLER!!! ‎"It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together...but it takes only one nut to scatter them all over the highway..." Jeff PARAMEDIC

07-03-2010, 12:48 AM	#6
chefhottie25 Member How Do You Identify?: boi Preferred Pronoun?: hy Relationship Status: happily taken Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: ohio Posts: 1,406 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 889 Times in 478 Posts Rep Power: 1175217	I have no problem getting out of your bed to make you breakfast in the morning. The few times I went out after work with my chef coat on it actually worked...but mostly it failed.

08-24-2010, 03:53 PM	#9
nicetgurl_30 Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: AR Posts: 133 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 122 Thanked 214 Times in 89 Posts Rep Power: 295940	should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

05-19-2011, 08:21 PM	#11
uglyboi Member How Do You Identify?: As the 'The Bourne Identity' Preferred Pronoun?: Cheerful pessimist Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2011 Location: In a house we bought Posts: 411 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 294 Thanked 1,208 Times in 327 Posts Rep Power: 18936851	Works everytime Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

01-25-2012, 11:39 AM	#12
Selenay Member How Do You Identify?: A soul for a compass and a heart for a pair of wings. Preferred Pronoun?: All I ask of living is to have no chains on me. Relationship Status: All I own are the strides I spend to the finish line. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Somewhere in between here and gone. Posts: 662 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 110 Thanked 1,447 Times in 369 Posts Rep Power: 6344716	Hey baby, I left my scarf at home; can I wrap your legs around me instead? __________________ Two or three things I know for sure, And one is that I would rather go naked Than wear the coat the world has made for me.

01-25-2012, 11:45 AM	#13
kannon Member How Do You Identify?: bloke Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Happy is the heart that believes in angels Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Land of Milk and Honey Posts: 884 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,920 Thanked 2,066 Times in 584 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Motion for her to come over with the finger "come here" sign. If she does, tell her, "I just wanted to see if I could I could make you come with my finger. Looks like I can. My fingers work even better in the bed." WARNING: This drunken line is sure to evoke a strong emotional reaction of some sort. __________________ Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

07-02-2010, 10:27 AM	#14
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Really like your peaches...wanna shake your tree. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

07-02-2010, 10:34 AM	#15
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	You've been a bad boi! Now go to MY room!